Tag Archives: anxiety

3 tips to help ease anxiety at Christmas…

Christmas can be a fabulous time of year , in fact Christmas can be the best time of year. It can also be absolutely ram packed full of stress and anxiety triggers and noise and mess and chaos and worst of all…..

All.The.People.

Now I’ve been an anxious mess for knocking on for a decade now . Though thankfully anxiety is a rare visitor these days – in the same way you don’t see great uncle Bob all year round ’till he turns up at your front door ,half cut, on Christmas eve the same goes for anxiety for me.

I know everyone’s experiences of anxiety are different and I can only talk about mine but I have learnt a few tricks over the years to lessen it’s grip slightly over Christmas.

1) Don’t over commit
There are so many social events around Christmas time from the works night out to the catch up with the friend you mean to see all year to family get togethers. 

However saying yes (often for THE FEAR of saying no) to 3 parties a week when you know social anxiety is upon you is never going to end well. There’s little more stressful than knowing you’re going to cancel on people and then having to spend the whole day psyching yourself up enough to actually do it.

So choose the events you really want to go to and ditch the ones that you feel obliged to.

2) Give someone you trust a heads up.

Helpful if either you’re having people over for Christmas or if you’re going to someone elses where there are going to be a fair few people and you know you might at some point need a bit of a time out . That you might need to remove yourself from noise and over stimulation (and those damn people again) tell your partner or friend or aunt or mother in law. Let them know beforehand that this could be the case. 
You could even use a code phrase , you know if the rest of the family have you down as a solid individual living the shit out of life and you don’t want to blow your superhero ‘anxiety girl’ cover.

If you’re at your own house it’s possibly easier to slope off for 10 mins calm but if you’re at someone elses just have a code phrase. “I just need to make a phone call ” ( people call each other up on Christmas day , it’s passable) could mean “I am just going to sit in your spare room for a bit and get my mind together ,please leave me be”

3) Seek out the company of children

This possibly could just be me but during an anxious period children are great to be around. Yes I know my previous words about over stimulation don’t fit what I’m saying but stay with me. Just joining in with kids at Christmas can be an almighty distraction technique. I personally find it hard to worry about whether I drain everyone and noone wants me there when I’ve a small person singing me When Santa got Stuck up the Chimney or telling me all about the toy of the year Santa brought them. 
Conflict is a huge anxiety trigger for me also so I’d rather join in with a group of kids debating who the best superhero is than listen to Great Uncle Bob (yes him again ) being a racist , sexist bigot. He’s basically The Daily Mail in human form and causes you palpitations just listening to him rant.

For the record : I don’t have a Great Uncle Bob…we’ve all met this guy though right? 

I hope these tips can help even if just a little bit. Christmas can actually be a lovely time for those of us who struggle to feel cherished and worthwhile as people because most people are at their loveliest and kindest at Christmas and freer with their encouraging words (it’s probably the Bailey’s) 

I hope your Christmas is filled with as much social interaction as you can handle and that get as much physical affection as you can cope with/crave!!
Xxx


My Facebook page is here

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Practical ways I tell my anxiety to keep away!

Anxiety sucks.

 

It can turn your average day into an overthought , catastrophizing nightmare.

 

I don’t have the cure I’m afraid .

 

I’ve read all the info , I know exercise , good nights sleep , healthy food and not drinking wine or overdosing on chocolate are what I’m meant to be doing to keep anxiety at bay. Not much fun though are they?

 

I can’t run when I’ve convinced myself I’m going to faint at any minute …and probably on the road…then I’ll get run over and killed… and then what will the kids do….Yes that’s my actual thought process during an anxious moment. Total pain in the arse.

 

I’ve never managed to stop that horrific pain through my stomach and my face going numb by eating kale.

 

How the hell am I meant to get a good nights sleep when I can barely breathe with the panic?

 

 

I know these tips are the sensible ones. Sometimes a run does blast away the panic , sometimes a long sleep stops the overthinking.

 

 

Over the years though  , I’ve gotten to grips with my anxiety to an extent. It’s personal to me and I know how to nip an episode in the bud quite often , I know how to calm myself . They may sound a bit odd but anxiety is a personal thing , there’s no one size fits all solution. Maybe some of mine may work for you . Here’s how I tell anxiety to just p**s off!!!

 

 

Phone calls to my sister.

If I’m feeling a bit wobbly , or I feel unsettled this is my go to activity. Chat , especially idle gossip and thoughtless chat is a distraction. Add to that my sisters familiar voice and calms me down.

I’m not suggesting you all ring my sister when you’re panicky , though as I always say if I could clone her I’d give you all a copy – she’s ace!!

Maybe if you have someone with whom you can partake in chit chat as a distraction though , a familiar voice , a calming influence though this could work for you .

 

Monday vlog indulgence

Could be a bit niche this one …stay with me.

Monday’s are always a pain in the bum aren’t they? A good start to a week though can do wonders for my head. I also love a vlog , I’m a blogger , I’m nosy why wouldn’t I?

Starting the week by watching Marian Keyes weekly vlog sets me up nicely for the week . She’s funny , she’s engaging, she’s pretty , she’s smiley ( I’m pretty sure the accent helps too) I am a big fan of her books and she’s a bit of a Twitter crush of mine if truth be told. Being told stories is another on the anxiety cheat sheet and well ,  Marian is as fab at telling stories verbally as she is writing them down. The vlogs start my Monday with a smile. In fact I recommend them (  link here : https://www.youtube.com/user/himselfkeyes) to all of you , even if you’re not quite as nutty as me!)

 

 

Joining in with small girl

My 8 year old does everything with zeal. There is no half hearted with her. On a wobbly day , taking a leaf out of her book and just joining in with her is as therapeutic as anything I know.

If it’s feeding the ducks we’re throwing the food as far as we can , if it’s drawing or colouring it takes every bit of focus we have. If it’s dancing it’s with every bit of our body.

It seems when I put my absolute all into any activity it’s really hard for my anxiety to take a grip on my mind.

 

 

Watching stand up

An obvious one really.

From the school of fake it ’till you make it!! If I’m laughing anxiety does not stand a chance.

 

 

Writing

Could be a blog post , could be a letter (yes I still write those – how quaint am I?)

More likely though it’s just a total mind dump into a notebook.

When I am anxious I overthink.

This never ends well for me , especially when it all just swirls around my mind like some kind of brain bothering hurricane. The reason I ever started this blog was because I’ve always found that writing down what bothers me helps . Having a million thoughts whizzing around this head each one causing another hundred in an anxious chain reaction means I’m not going to feel great. Picking up a pen , writing them down uncensored gets the thoughts out of the nutty mind and into a notebook where they become much less powerful. I can see how ridiculous they are written there in black in white.Then I can shut the notebook and walk away. It helps.

 

 

They’re little things , but sometimes little things help.

 

Do you have any little tricks that keep your anxiety in it’s place or that can calm you ?

 

I’d love to hear them.

xxx
 



My Facebook blog page is here 

 

 

 

 

 

Date me! : I’m a chronic overthinker … 

Really, you’d have to be as nuts as I am to date me. My anxiety disorder often manifests itself in over thinking . I can work myself up into a frenzy about situations that are never going to happen. I can decide what OTHER people are thinking about me and make that fact in my mind. I grab hold of one comment someone has made and obsess over it relentlessly, make the highest  mountain of the tiniest molehill and it always ends with me being in a panic.

So I can either drive myself even more nuts worrying about it or I can laugh at how ridiculous I am at times.

I choose the latter.

It has become apparent that dating is the ideal place for my anxious  over thinking to thrive. Let’s face it, in this kind of scenario EVERYONE is trying to put the best version of themselves forward. You want to be liked. That’s how it works.

Poor unfortunate souls who date me though? They’re already fighting an uphill battle.

What he’ll say : You look amazing tonight

What I’ll take from that : aaaaw he fancies me! I’m rocking this dress!. ..errrrm hang on a minute. I look amazing TONIGHT? Has he been thinking I look rubbish every other time he’s seen me? Oh my! What on earth was I wearing last time? I must burn that outfit immediately.

What he’ll say : You can choose where we eat. I’ll eat anything.

What I’ll take from that: Ah how considerate, he knows I’ve odd little food ‘quirks’ … Oh wait, he obviously thinks I’m really high maintenance. He said he’ll eat anything – the undertone being that I’m a problem, my food dislikes are the barrier to us eating somewhere nice. He’s going to think I’m too much hard work and dump me!

What he’ll say : I’ve found us a new cocktail bar to try, you’ll love it.

What I’ll take from that : He’s so cute thinking of me when I’m not there.. .. although ‘us’? ? ? Did he just use’ us’? Bloody hell stop pressurising me, stop trying to encroach on my space you’ll be trying to move in next! While we’re at it-I’ll love it? ! Sure we’ve done cocktails often. Sure I’ve always raved about how much I’ve enjoyed it. Sure he’s been lovely enough to take time to get to know my likes and dislikes. Thinking he knows what I’ll love though? Cheek of it! Slow down Mr Telepathic!

What he’ll say : You’re fantastic to be around, I’m so relaxed around you.

What I’ll take from that : Yay! Yay! Hot guy thinks I’m great… Relaxed though? Relaxed? Is he saying I’m boring? Like he’s so ‘relaxed’ he’s borderline comatose because my company is so dull?

What he’ll say : I’ve got you a surprise!

What I’ll take from that : Ooo he’s so into me he’s getting me gifts! Eeeek this is awesome! Surprise though, WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DOES IT HAVE TO BE A SURPRISE? It could be anything, what if it’s something I don’t like and I’ve gotten this whole scenario wrong thinking he really gets me to discover he really doesn’t? He knows about my anxiety, why is the word surprise even in his vocabulary?

– upon receiving lovely, thoughtful gift. .

Yes but what does it MEAN though?

*brain explodes*

I mean, I think I do quite well and manage to control the over thinking most of the time and I can certainly cover up the underlying rabidness but I’ve also come to accept this is just part of what makes me, me.
The right guy will find it endearing I’m sure.. Or learn to live with it at least. I have to! !


My Facebook page is here

 
 

A little relapse, a stumble backwards doesn’t mean back to square one 

I’ve had a weird couple of weeks

.

Nothing huge has happened, no trauma, no incidents of note.

I’ve just not felt ‘right’. I’ve not had a real anxiety attack for a while and none of the usual triggers were present. I could just feel it creeping up on me. That sinking feeling walking around ASDA, you know the kind you get  when you’ve messed up in a big way or forgotten something really important? You feel panic and nausea and dread. Well that feeling has been present intermittently for no reason at all.
The reassuring thing about my personal anxiety disorder is that it’s usually fairly predictable, but this was new. So I’ve spent  a couple of weeks permanently looking over my shoulder waiting for the prod that my anxiety was giving me to turn into the huge shake that usually follows.

Only it didn’t.

So of course this made me anxious. I was anxious that my anxiety disorder wasn’t presenting as I expected. Well played anxiety.

This escalated over the last few days into another classic of mine but one I really thought I’d seen the back of. The waking up in a morning, not even opening my eyes but already feeling my breathing pattern wasn’t right, feeling  dread and panic. It’s been a real nuisance and left me shaken a bit and unsettled.

Shaken and unsettled, in my case then trigger the big guns of my anxiety. Ridiculous thought patterns culminating in horrible self loathing and self doubt and all round a lot of thoughts about how rubbish I am.

Last weekend this little blog of mine had been read lots and I’d had the most lovely, flattering comments about it. Such positive words that ordinarily I’d have been proud as punch about. Now when this happened whilst anxious brain was in charge of things my thinking went more like this “Oh no people are saying nice things about my writing because they feel so sorry for me about how shockingly shit it is. That’s it I’m deleting the whole thing – who did you think you were anyway putting your nonsense out there? ? Why on earth would anyone want to listen to you? ”
I suppose one good part of knowing your own mind can go rogue on you from time to time is that I can acknowledge I’m anxious and never to make any decisions at that time!

 

I mean, I was feeling rubbish and hating on myself a bit so reached for the tortilla chips and salsa for comfort. Between the salsa jar and my mouth the salsa dropped  off down my pj’s. Now ordinarily I’d roll my eyes at my clumsiness and carry on. Not when anxiety brain is in the house though. Thought process then was “Oh for goodness sakes  you can’t even EAT now? Is there anything you can do you useless arse”  At this one I’ve got to admit once the feeling had eased I even managed to giggle at my own craziness! Tortilla related trauma, that’s a new one.

I talk often recently on this blog about how healed I am after the abusive relationship, how I’ve never been stronger mentally. This is true, really it is.

So then if I don’t document the slips, if I gloss over the hard times I feel like a bit of a fraud.

The thing I’m taking from this bout of crapness though is this-it’s a not a big disaster, not really.

A couple of hard, horrid weeks doesn’t mean I’m back to the beginning again. It doesn’t mean anxiety wins. It doesn’t mean all huge steps forward and the achievements I’ve made are wiped out.

I’m still here looking forwards, I’m still lucky enough that an anxious period is the rare thing not the 24 hour nagging noise that it once was.

I know it will pass
I’ve  stumbled.
I tripped, but I’m back on my feet now and surely it’s the continuing to get back up and try again that counts, it’s talking about the highs AND lows that helps.
So let’s keep trying.


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Don’t I always say books are good for the soul… 

My name is Kelly and I’m a book addict.

Books are my ‘thing’.

Reading books, talking about books, watching adaptations of books (mainly to slate them I’ll give you),recommending books, just gazing lovingly at my bookcases, maybe one day even writing one!

Reading is my ultimate comfort.

Even the crappest of crappy, yukky days can be perked up with a duvet, a perfect cup of tea and a good book. You’ll always find a book in my bag. There are always a couple of books in my bed (yes not beside my bed or on my bedside table but actually in my bed, by my pillow)

You can imagine then how rough the last couple of weeks have been as I’ve been unable to read!
I’ve been all agitated and restless and unable to concentrate. It’s not been my usual kind of anxiety that’s been at play either (it’s branching out *sarcastic yay*) I wrote here about one of the worst things for me when a bout of anxiety strikes is not being able to read and that’s where I’ve been of late!

When I’m anxious I do suffer with the horrible mind racing, dizzying feeling. That I  feel as though there are a thousand (mostly random) thoughts whizzing through my tiny mind at  once. These past couple of weeks have been exactly that but in super duper fast forward mode. So many thoughts flitting into mind barely having time to settle before the next one arrives demanding attention… on repeat. It’s exhausting and unsettling.
I will apologise if my trying to explain my experience of anxiety is a bit off the wall and sounds nuts. It feels a bit nuts at the time, but I know some of you will get what I mean!

I’ve started half a dozen books and barely got a couple of pages in before my mind has wandered away from the book leaving reading and that lovely feeling of being absolutely absorbed in a book impossible.

Then I picked up Second Life by SJWatson, same author as Before I go to Sleep which I really enjoyed. It drew me in instantly and had me so hooked my anxious mind didn’t stand a chance of wandering. Not concentrating just wasn’t an option.

You’d think a jumpy, psychological thriller wouldn’t be a good book choice when you’re in the grip of an anxious period but,  for me last week, it worked.

You see being absolutely engrossed in a book and having your heart racing in your chest because of the story – that was kind of therapeutic for me. I was feeling nervy and jumpy for a good reason, not just because anxiety was being a knob. Also, I think the fact that a book has an ending is reassuring. I read this book in a day so experienced all the cleverly written tension and nervousness leading to the crescendo all these type of books need.

Then it ends.

You put the book down and all those feelings (once your heart rate calms down from the exhilaration) are done. As was my anxiety. Getting caught up in a fictional scenario seemed to have purged all the anxious feelings in a positive way!

I’ve not spoken about the book plot itself because firstly I just wanted to talk about how reading managed to drag me out of that particular period of anxiety and secondly I’d likely give too much away. What I will  say though is if you loved Gone Girl and the Girl on the Train and enjoy tense, nervy writing  give this book a go, I recommend it highly.

So here I am now, back in the bliss that is books. I’m not daft enough  to think a book that gets the adrenalin pumping will always work versus anxiety but on this  one occasion it did.

I always say books are fantastic therapy… and I this occasion I proved myself right! !

That doesn’t happen often.

 

A calm, quiet bout of anxiety…

I’m in the midst of an anxiety wobble right now. In fact I’m writing this as a distraction technique (I recognise that writing about the thing I’m trying to distract myself from seems a bit odd – anxiety is an irrational arsehole)

I’ve no scary physical symptoms today though. I’m not shaky, I don’t have the annoying facial numbing that often turns up. I’ve not vomited. My legs aren’t wobbly.

Neither am I in a panic.
I don’t have feelings of dread.
I don’t even feel scared.

Yet this kind of anxious moment is the most troublesome to me these days (I’m so grateful for that too. The most troublesome part of my anxiety used to be an all consuming fear of fainting crossing the road with the kids with me) that I no longer have to suffer the horrors that anxiety used to gift me with daily is something I really am very grateful for. These days though these seemingly calm moments of anxiety are the worst, nothing physical going on except an ever so slight quickening in my breathing pattern. It’s all going on in my mind though which is a bloody pain.

I’m over thinking… this is never good.

I’m not having deep thoughts about the state of the country (though that would certainly be worthy of a good solid panic) Instead I’m taking tiny things and blowing them out of all proportion. I’m assuming the fact small girl’s daddy hasn’t texted me back within 5 mins means something dreadful has happened and my overactive imagination is filling in the gaps (that are not even there!) about exactly what this could be.
What it likely is is that he’s not a phone obsessive like me and he’ll just not be by his phone right now. I know this.
I can rationalise.
I do know that my brain is just playing tricks on me but right now in the moment that doesn’t help at all. Anxiety is a total bellend in that respect.

So although I’m sat quite calm, functioning perfectly well with mum tasks (there’s talk of a Trivial Pursuit game in a sec, they’ll wipe the floor with me and my shot concentration) still the mind is racing.

I’ll be fine in a bit. I know I will. That’s the reassuring thing with my experience of anxiety. I know it won’t last. 

For now though I could just do with someone to stroke my hair and make soothing sssshhhing noises. Oooo in fact did I not say earlier in the week that next time anxiety hit I wanted to be read to by Thierry Henry and his lovely soothing voice? Let’s do that… I bet he’d be good at the hair stroking too.. and I bet he smells soothing… Anyone have his number???

My Facebook blog page is here

7 reasons anxiety sucks..

I know, I know. 10 points to the lady stating the bloody obvious! Next blog to be entitled ‘Reasons pulling out your own teeth hurts a little bit’. Stay with me though . 

Obviously anxiety is a shitty, annoying , debilitating condition. If it were fun everyone would want a piece of it. I’d sit thinking aaaww I’ve not had an anxiety attack in AGES, hurry along next one.

I know how rubbish it is and I’m not trying to make light of it I promise. 
It’s just you know I always say I feel better when I write things down?! 

Maybe someone can even relate to the 7 reasons anxiety sucks ( for me)

 

It’s exhausting

Nothing like thinking of one billion reasons you’re about to die RIGHT NOW to tire you out. Fretting over different ways you could get hurt or ill or injured is shattering. It’s like your brain is on  spin cycle and then when it eventually slows to a stop you’re way too tired to enjoy it and bed is the only option.

 

The physical symptoms are often hard to explain

Someone once told me that at least I knew that my anxiety was ‘all in my head’ (shut up ignorant knob indeed! ) Thing is when you’re at the shops or stood in the school playground or have met up with someone for tea and cake and someone asks if you’re OK it’s tricky to answer in the grip of an anxious period. The answer ” No , not really my brain is telling me I’m about to choke to death on this piece of cake , my face has gone totally numb , I can’t catch my breath and I’ve a terrible tummy pain” never feels appropriate. Generally ‘I’m fine’ just pops out.

 

It makes you into a contradictory idiot

When I’m feeling anxious generally what I want to do is go to bed , pull the duvet over my head and avoid all human interaction and physical contact. Trouble is simultaneously ALL I want is human interaction and physical contact. So that keeps things nice and simple eh?

 

 

It’s like having a conversation with a drunk person

You know when you’re stone cold sober and around someone who isn’t? They generally talk nonsense and go off on tangents on an irritating loop (obviously if you’re also drunk they’re incredibly funny and witty  , as are you ). 

When I’m anxious my thoughts are like ramblings of a drunk. ” I’m so tired. I wish I could breathe like a normal person. I hope no one breaks into my house and kidnaps me. My chest hurts. I’m a terrible mum. Terrorists though?.We’re all gong to die. Did I pull the plugs out?”…on repeat.
 

I can’t read books during an anxious phase

Simply can’t concentrate . I don’t need to detail how rubbish that is for a bookworm like me.

 

My phone becomes my worst enemy

When small girl is at  her daddy’s I’ll text to ask how she is ( disguising the anxiety perfectly obviously) I’ll then be looking at my phone a million times a second waiting for the reply. Why hasn’t he answered? What if something terrible has happened to them? I’ll glance at my phone again. 6:01 pm , still no reply. Bloody hell what time did I send the text? 6:00!!

Oh

 

My appetite suffers

As much as I could do to lose a few pounds , when I’m feeling rubbishy anxious what I really want is soothing comfort. A virtual hug ( on account I don’t like real ones. Read more about my hug related nuttiness here ) Where’s the best place for me to find soothing comfort though? Bottom of a bag of chips is where! Bloody anxiety.

 

So I’m really not recommending  anxiety as a thrilling rollercoaster ride ( similar though the terror , heart palpitations and breathlessness may be) It sucks. Hard.

I’m lucky that I no longer suffer very often and I’m an old enough hand at it to know it will pass.

There’s a silver lining though…

People can make you feel better. Most people are kind when you talk to them about it. You’ll always get the people who roll their eyes at the mention of the anxiety word, but those people are not the ones to surround yourself with. This weekend I had a bit of a ‘moment’. My lovely Facebook friends came to the rescue with  advice and words so soothing they were like a cyberspace hair stroke (yes I know I don’t like my hair being touched-contradictory remember) 

In a nutshell:

Anxiety is rubbish 

The people I know are gorgeously wonderful humans.

 

#Blogtober17- Day 4- Dates Dating after domestic abuse

When I first left the abusive relationship I was sure I never wanted another boyfriend, ever. For a while afterwards this was the case. It was so freeing and new to be on my own just the kids and I doing things my way , making my own decisions. I’m still enjoying it years on , so much so I still can’t imagine ever being in a serious relationship , I certainly don’t think I could live with anyone again.

Now and again though I do think it’d be nice to have someone special. An actual grown up to spend time with , a bit of affection perhaps even a bit of romance (I know high maintenance eh?!)

The thing is after you’ve been in an abusive relationship, dating is a minefield. There’s so much scope for old anxieties to resurface , to fall back into negative thought patterns. I can only tell my story but there really are a lot of hurdles to overcome.

One of my main problems when I’ve given dating a shot is that it highlights how skewed my view of myself is and how the damage that was done in all the years of living in an abusive relationship is still apparent. Compliments are difficult for example. If someone tells me I look nice or I’m funny or anything positive at all I dismiss it instantly. They’re just being polite I think or even worse they’re thinking I look terrible and are having to lie. That’s a really warped thought pattern , I know that. The thing is being told you’re fat and ugly and disgusting everyday for years on end is going to have an impact.Years of being told that noone would want anything to do with me , I’ve 4 children and the body to prove it , has left me guarded. Trusting when someone tells you you’re fantastic is a risk , you believed someone when they told you that before and look how that turned out?

My next boyfriend is going to have to be the world’s most patient man.

Then there’s *whispers* sex ssshhh. Another mental minefield. Another thing associated with trauma. Along with the body worries there’s also the fact I’ve not done it in AGES!! What if I am rubbish at it ?! I worry I’d zone out mid event as was the way I got through it back then. That’d be fun eh??

The next guy is going to need to be so patient he would make Mother Theresa look a bit cranky!!

Then there’s the big one. Trust.
It’s not what you think either , it’s not that I don’t trust men or that I think they’ll all treat me terribly. I really don’t believe that to be true . I don’t trust my own judgement though.

I’ve always said my perfect boyfriend would be someone who was happy to just see me once a month for dinner and romance and the bedroom stuff , with more time in the school holidays when the kids were away! Good plan eh?

I know this is an unrealistic scenario. Men I’ve known have wanted to move along quite quickly and it put me off straight away.I’m certainly not ready to jump into anything with both feet. I don’t know if I ever will be.

So you see dating is a tricky game to play for me . I like meeting new people , I enjoy the company of interesting men and I hope one day I will have my Mr Perfect in my life ….it’s just the actual dating bit I could do without!!

It turns out though, the only way to get over all the hang ups is to actually get out there and do it! Practice makes almost perfect. Bad dates are as helpful as lovely ones.
The bad ones help you realise that your self esteem has grown to a point that deciding a person is just not right for you is OK.

The good ones? Well if like me you’re naturally suspicious of men as a species after bad experiences, there’s hopefully going to be someone who comes along and presses the reset button. Who has you decide actually this is the benchmark for the future.When someone is respectful and kind and thoughtful  you kind of make an internal deal with yourself that this is the only way you’ll stand to be treated in future. It doesn’t have to be love of your life stuff (one step at a bloody time) but just enough to make you set the bar high.

We’ve been through the mill and not treated well enough, but that really doesn’t have to be our lot.

Setting high standards isn’t a thing of arrogance it’s self preservertion.


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#Blogtober17