I’m not a fan of Mother’s day. It’s up there with Valentines day for making you feel a bit crap.
I don’t have a mum, I haven’t had for over 20 years now and the whole Mothers Day thing being shoved in my face does sting a bit. Years of being a single mum also meant there was not going to be a day of being spoilt so really I could do without it.
HOWEVER the kids? They bloody love it! They love making a fuss and so for them really we have to just smile through it.
I’ve been a single mum for over a decade now and I have picked up some hints along the way to share with you:
1) Buy yourself a gift
There’s only one rule here. It doesn’t matter what the gift is but it has to be something you want not that you need! (I see you there thinking about treating yourself to a new iron – No. Not allowed.)
Can be something as simple as a box of chocolates or a trashy magazine. Just have a treat. I’ve tickets to see Wicked (yes again) this year. If you’ve older kids let them wrap it, they love that, it just might take all day day to get through the whole roll of sellotape that’s been used!
Extra handy hint: If you do go down the chocolate route buy two boxes, you’ll have to share the first one with the little people, have a box B for when they’re in bed!
2) Breakfast in Bed
The kids love the idea of breakfast in bed. Obviously as a single mum this is not going to be a full English brought on a pretty tray after a lazy lie in until 10am. That’s OK, we are adaptable.
Buy croissants and orange juice. After you’ve gotten up at ridiculous o clock and seen to the kids, put on the laundry and more than likely watched more cbeebies than is mentally healthy you can make a big deal out of going back to bed and let the small people fetch pastries and juice. If you’ve older ones you can push the boat out to tea and toast, though you’ll probably have to remake the tea when you ‘get up’ as tea made by children is rarely good. In saying that I’m a bit picky with tea as it is and there’s probably only a handful of adults I’d trust with that job!
3) Take 10 minutes
I know this is way easier said than done but it’s Mother’s Day, we’ve got to try and make ten mins peace happen. Let the kids have a bit of extra screen time (do not feel guilty about it) take the Sunday papers and a coffee and just sit for a little while. If you’ve a whole tribe of kids like me you can suggest to elder ones that doing a jigsaw with their sibling while you flick through a magazine would be a huge mother’s day treat and sneak a cup of (well made) uninterrupted tea.
4) Speak to a non single mum.
This may sound mean but make it one with a partner who’s not great. Don’t talk to the woman whose perfect husband let her lie in until lunch before waking her with their children clean and dressed before having a great family day. That woman is really lucky and we’re happy for her but being a single mum on Mother’s Day can feel a bit flat. You see happy families everywhere you turn. Letting a mum who does have a partner but the only mention of Mother’s day she’s heard is him asking her what she’s got HIS mum rant will make you realise you’re not alone in your Mother’s day misery.
5) Take social media with a pinch of salt
For every #soblessed perfect family picture there’s rows and bickering children and too much washing and not enough hours in the day.
As single parents we may not have someone to to share the chores or help with parenting duties or even ask how our day’s been and that can be really tough and lonely. Really though all us mums, single or not, are just trying to do our best and not mess up too badly. Don’t let social media be a stick to beat yourself with.
Have a lovely Mother’s Day
You’re doing an amazing job.
You are enough.
You are irreplaceable.
You are entitled to a hot drink and a solo loo trip today!