Tag Archives: Twitter

Has blogging cured my social anxiety?

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I’m not sure social anxiety is ever truly cured , not if you’ve always been quite a nervous person. I can’t remember the last time I got the fear though , the people fear.

I can’t remember last time the thought of the self checkouts being shut brought me out in a cold sweat because I’d have to deal with a real life person.

I can’t remember the last time I did the thing where you meet someone new and you get yourself so worked up that you open your mouth to speak thinking to yourself “don’t say something stupid ,don’t say something stupid” only to open your mouth and pure gibberish exits, making the anxiety even worse.

I’ve embraced group situations recently , even groups of strangers . I’ve socialised more.

There is of course the fact I’ve some great people in my life who make socialising fun and who believe in me so much it rubs off on me this has eased the social anxiety.

I do think though that blogging might have been the biggest factor.

It’s not as nuts as it sounds , honestly. Humour me ?

I think the main factor is with blogging I am communicating via the written word. Always my favourite. Some of my raw , honest blog posts would never have been given life if I had to say them out loud. I’m getting better but I don’t find vocalising emotions easy.

So communicating via my method of choice brings with it a freedom.

I can tell my stories without needing to speak out loud . I don’t have to make eye contact , I don’t have to scan peoples expressions to see if they’re bored yet , I don’t have to panic noone can understand my accent.

Written down I can express myself in a way more relaxed manner , that has to be a very good start.

Also when I’m blogging I’m generally talking about something I am passionate about , a little knowlegable about or have strong opinions about. This is really helpful. It means follow up questions aren’t terrifying , I can back up what I’m saying with knowledge or anecdotes.

For a socially anxious person , or me at least , being asked or put on the spot with questions or conversations you don’t have a clue about is just terrifying and horrible and the phrase “wish the ground would open up and swallow me ” really comes into it’s own.

The blogging community helps too. All the little groups of people I never would have known ordinarily. People who have been through similar life experiences as I have. People who are honest and open about the challenges parenthood , and indeed life, throw at you. People whose lives have been really different to mine , but we have this blogging thing in common and a sense of familiarity.

Best of all these blog friends and I , well we again communicate via the written word. Social media is great for that . I think Twitter is my chatty place the most but there I can be chatty girl who doesn’t get her words muddled (too much) I can be semi articulate and free to think myself mildly amusing because the restraints that always held me back ( I blush when people talk to me…like a 5 years old , it’s excruciating) are removed. I suppose as well in this arena if people think you’re a bit of a twat well they’ll just unfollow you or not engage with you , quite direct and effective .

I just realised as well ,as I’m writing I’m using the present tense .

“I blush”

“I muddle my words”

Except , and this is the whole point of the post I guess (ah come off it Kelly when have you ever kept to the point?)

I think maybe spending time blogging , building up relationships with people online. Feeling connections with people . Being free to be my chatty , geeky self well that’s had a knock on effect to my actual real life too. Dislike that phrase ‘real life’ makes me feel like I’ve made up all my online buddies. Can’t think of an alternative though. Anyway spending time building relationships via my comfy method has given me the confidence to then take that out into my world. In all the years I’ve tweeted with folk they’ve always been so lovely and positive (except that spat I had with the Male Rights Activists but they’d not be on my Christmas card list anyway so no great loss) that I feel I am able to be braver and put myself out there with people.

My blog started life as an anonymous one , but people’s reactions to it gave me the confidence to then share it with people I do know.

Putting myself out there , being just me – the girl who loves Doctor Who , Andy Murray and chips. The girl who goes to the cinema and the theatre and for dinner alone through choice because she loves it , the bookworm and the dozy human who can often be found with her clothes on inside out. Well my blogger pals , my lovely twitter folk who I’ll likely never meet all made me feel good about just being her. It’s transferred into my day to day life that confidence.

I went to a group workshop last week ( old Kelly’s idea of hell) and I spoke and I contributed and I got to know a group of strangers because I spoke to them without worrying everyone was going to think I was an idiot…and if they did well I didn’t really mind they were strangers.

I can strike up conversations with people I don’t know without palpitations.

I sometimes even CHOOSE the tills with people at them!

The blushy girl is all but gone ( unless she’s talking to that handsome guy she hangs around with sometimes!)

Blogging has most certainly helped!!

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After The Playground
3 Little Buttons

JakiJellz

Musings Of A Tired Mummy
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💜💜Reasons I love Facebook.. 💜💜


I know social media gets a kicking at times, and rightly so on occasion. You’re always going to get idiots. I’ve felt the wrath of Male Rights Activists (I shit you not that’s an actual thing!) on Twitter but that was by far the tiny bit of nasty in the otherwise fantastic phenomenon that is social media (I mean how did we ever pass time on the bus without it)
I absolutely adore Facebook. Here’s why :

1) It cures my homesickness
I may have left Hull almost a decade ago but I still get the occasional homesickness pangs. I miss my niece and nephews , I fancy a pattie, I want to watch Look North… OK the last one not so much. Facebook is quite good here as the Hull Daily Mail will pop up on my timeline with the local news and I feel ‘in the loop’. Big occasions such as a big Hull City game or the rugby derby are great too as loads of my Facebook friends are chatting about the same thing. I like the ‘we’re all in it together’ vibe.

2)Keeping in touch
I’m a bit of a rubbish friend if truth be told. I’m awful at keeping in touch and texts and phonecalls but I promise that’s not because I don’t care. We all live such busy lives and being able to see people’s baby pics and hear of new jobs and weddings is really lovely. That I can comment on a status is really handy and though it may seem a bit lazy, when I like your pic or am writing you a message I’m saying I care, that I’m thinking of you.
I really will try to be better at the texts and phonecalls though.

3)It’s great for advice
Baby won’t sleep? Toddler won’t eat? Looking for a new dress? Book recommendation?
There’s always someone on your friends list who can help. I like that, it’s cosy.
Not long back I had a rush of anxiety and I felt so bad. I mentioned it on Facebook and my lovely friends came to the rescue with soothing words and reassurance and practical advice. You guys are the best!

4) Sibling baiting
There’s not much I enjoy more than a good Facebook bicker with my brother and sister. Unfortunately there’s something in the genes that results in a delusion that we are all bloody hilarious but it’s always good for a giggle. Usually ends with me being called a freaky geeky ginger ninja or similar but family time is family time and ssshh don’t tell them but they actually are quite funny.

5) Spying on exes
DON’T even try and tell me you’ve never done it!

6)Blog love
Since I published my little blog on Facebook everyone has been so lovely and supportive, I’m really grateful. No one has criticised my haphazard writing style or told me to hush with my ramblings and go away. It’s built my confidence and I really am going to work on my use of exclamation marks! (see? Just the one-progress)

7)Reconnecting with people
Always nice to come across someone on Facebook who for one reason or another you’ve lost touch with (see earlier bad friend statement) Sometimes people slip of the radar but you still think of them and wonder how they’re doing and thanks to Facebook you can find out.
Similarly, it’s nice when you’re ‘Facebook friends’ with people who maybe you didn’t know that we’ll but discover shared loves and experiences and new friendships develop.

On This Day
I know some people hate this. I get that. It’s always a shock when you’re bumbling along thinking you’re aging pretty well and looking quite good then a ‘7 years ago’ pic pops up, leaving you looking twice at how young you looked THEN!
It’s nice to look back and remember things you may have forgotten about though, things the kids have done, cute pics and the like.

So Facebook I do adore you. Yes you have your irritants but the majority of the time you make me smile and feel very happy that I can carry my friends and family about with me in my phone!!