Tag Archives: sister

Reasons little sisters are awesome (mine specifically)

It’s something that will be held against me all of my life , but an anecdote told over and over by my mam. When they brought home my little baby sister from the hospital she was squarking away whilst I was trying to watch Rainbow (and just remember you only got one shot at kids TV back then , no iPlayer or all day kids channel) I turned to my parents and said “Why couldn’t we just have got a dog instead of a baby” which given the circumstances highlighted above I’m sure you can completely understand!! 

She’s grown on me through the years though and now I’m a big fan of my little sister . Here’s why she’s awesome : 

1) She makes me laugh like noone else in the world does , has or will.

At least once everytime I talk to her on the phone I laugh , at her house I spend half the time guffawing ,or honking as my nephew once referred to it.

She’s just a naturally funny human , we were going to turn her into a stand up comedian once but we only really had 2 jokes!! I don’t know if this is a universal younger sibling thing or not !

She is my personal shopper 

She sends stuff like this. I appreciate it. 

She produces fabulously quirky humans

Eldest nephew has the same hilarious traits as his mother , he is so funny I am going to have to step up my campaign to get him to write me a guest blog. My niece is so like me I think shes amazing , goody two shoes with a slightly clumsy side , how is that not just adorable. WE ARE ADORABLE NOT ANNOYING!! Youngest nephew is the quirkiest of all…. I’ll just leave this here….

Yep….just casually reading the Bible in the Drs surgery…

She’s down with the kids

Literally on the floor ,taken down by the kids after challenging this one to a wrestling match……fool

She makes me feel really wise….

Especially about cooking!!! 

Once years ago she did ask me how you should cook lettuce so we’ve certainly moved on…

Unfortunately I think I have just been an extraordinary advice giver as her dinner pics these days are delicious, bit hey this is meant to be about her not me!

In jokes are the funniest thing!

This is the case for most people, there is nothing funnier than having someone around you can just say a word or two and they know exactly what you mean….also since gifs I can take it to a new level…. 

Tee hee hee stupid monpole !

She’s a hangover fairy godmother

Wine gets consumed when I make it home for a visit. A lot of wine. 

Yet you always wake up amazingly hangover free in the morning…..you can’t understand it ,you think you’ve managed to get back to your pre child self who didn’t get hangovers.

Until she tells you she woke you with painkillers and water at the crack of dawn in a preemptive strike!! Magic! 

She is a one off….

Absolutely broke the mould after her. Her opinions on dinosaurs and space are as funny as they are frustrating……the questions she thinks of are as though someone has made a new brain prototype as I honestly don’t think the things she ponders have ever crossed another person’s mind!!! I’ve got to get her into vlogging her little ideas as I really have to share this with the world!!
Along with all her quirks though and her funniness and basic all round entertainment value there is so much more to her . 

She’s great to rant at , she’ll listen and then do anything she can to help 

She’s the fun auntie everyone has funny stories about.

She’s an amazing mum. 

A really amazing mum.

They’ve had a really rough time over there recently and I hate not being close enough to help out. She’s there though , getting on with it . Parenting the shit out of life and managing to be in 10 places at once (obviously not literally I’ve not managed to clone her yet – I’ll share her when I do!) I couldn’t be prouder of her ability to deal with 10 tonnes of crap and still finding time to tag me in FB memes !!

Happy Birthday LouLou , I love you!…… now PLEASE come to see Wicked with me???


What’s your favourite thing about your siblings??

Burnished Chaos

2017 – The year the ice queen thawed so much she almost melted!!!!

I know , I know I’ve bored everyone with my 2017 was great going on. Personally for me it was a game changer. I found myself content with who I am, comfier in my own skin and quite inspired!

I wrote a blog post  a few years back about I identified with Elsa from Frozen ( it’s here poss worth a giggle) She obviously has a better wardrobe than me though. She had her ice palace and snowy bouncer to keep people away. Me , I had a self built metaphorical wall built 10 ft high around myself with big KEEP OUT signs plastered all over it. (I apologise in advance for how much I’ll use the wall analogy but that’s just how it is in my head )

I’ve been called cold quite a bit in my life. I know I’ve demonstrated being a little unfeeling and harsh at times.In reality I was just numb and turned off feelings to get me through tough times. It was a very unhealthy coping mechanism I know now, but it worked to get me through at the time.

Last year though , that KEEP OUT wall fell, hopefully never to be seen again.

I think the reasons were threefold

1) years of therapy

2)This blog , writing about the feelings I can’t vocalise means I do at least deal with them

3) The main one : good people

I’m incredibly lucky to have my sister , you all know how she’s my most favourite human . The woman is so good at advice and she doesn’t even realise she’s given it!!! Even during the wall years there was always a little catflap open for her to get in!!!

Over the past couple years though I have had people come into my life and ever so very,very gently with their kindness and patience and consistency take down that wall brick by brick. Not in like a wrecking ball (sorry Miley) smashing it quickly and brutally but more removing each brick one by one quietly and calmly so you don’t even notice until the wall is no more (sorry I did warn about the wall)

When you’ve been emotionally abused you often ignore kindness and acts of friendship and love. As always I can only tell my story, but I find acts of love and kindness overwhelming.

I don’t trust them.

I didn’t feel worthy of them for so long,I just assumed anything positive said about me was a lie.

You see in previous toxic relationships grand gestures had been thrust upon me . Affection was bestowed so intensely then used as a weapon withdrawn completely and cruelly as punishment. I didn’t want to put myself in that vulnerable position again.

I guess this is why my sister is so vital. I know she loves me and wants the best for me without question. I trust that about her and everyone needs that.

So it’s easy to put compliments down as insincere, you can disbelieve nice words, that’s easy …. Only sometimes people enter your life who don’t just take the ice queen at face value and leave her be.

For someone who has been emotionally abused THESE people are vital , the healers. Consistency is key – you can ignore compliments and kind gestures initially but when they are consistent and as low key as you need then eventually you begin to believe them. That’s when you let people in…..(wall alert) you’ll begin to pull down that bloody wall yourself because you want those people in. It’s a truly special thing and I’m grateful to have enjoyed that in 2017.

That ice queen is gone , hopefully for good. The woman who couldn’t have stood a hug is now a cuddle fan , she’s a bit slushy on the quiet , her cold little heart beats warmly.

It can be a lot to take letting these emotions in . I’ve become a bit of a cry baby and I feel in 4D …. I’m still a learner with these emotion type things but I’m getting there and I’m enjoying it!!!






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Mission Mindfulness






Naptime Natter


Rhyming with Wine

The Mummy Bubble

A surprise gift that made my heart happy!

I love random acts of kindness.
I really love ‘just because’ presents.
I really, really ,really love thoughtfulness.

My sister nailed all three this week.

She made me a mix tape! Well a YouTube playlist , so a 2017 version! If you follow me on Social Media you’ll have seen my excitement about this! 

Back in t’day my sister and I were all young and thin and hot (we didn’t realise it then of course we were all full of hang ups that you don’t realise are absolute nonsense until you’re 37 and look back at photos of younger you and think ‘oh I looked great then why the hell did I waste those years on undeserved boys?’) We loved nothing more than going out dancing and staying out late and generally just really having fun! 

(My hair is tied back here I am not indeed bald)

Though my sister is my favourite adult human in the world we just don’t do that anymore! When the opportunity arises to spend time together these days we’re way more content to get in our PJs and start slurping on the wine. 

For an hour though when I whacked on her playlist full of the songs I really loved or that used to be played when we went out back then I was transported back to being a young woman who loved a good dance (I admit eldest girl cringed and said she hoped I didn’t used to dance like that when we went out ) and was giddy with nostalgia!

Music is so good at that isn’t it ? One song can bring back such emotions and such vivid memories and feelings . Unlike anything else I think! When I heard JLo, I wasn’t dancing round my living room but out happy and having fun like a youngster.

This gesture just made me so happy for a few reasons. Firstly nothing makes me happier than feeling that someone knows me well , all my quirks and weirdness and yet still loves me and knows how to make me smile. My sister can do this without trying , she just is another part of me. 

Secondly that she went to the effort of putting that together to make me smile is just sweet!

Thirdly the song choices were perfect!!

So I’ve got a challenge for you all ….

Make some one a 2017 version of a playlist , even if it’s only a couple of songs.

Maybe a friend you’ve lost touch with except to like the occasional Facebook status but there are songs that just remind you of her

Maybe it’s your partner and there are songs from way back when that you just both ‘get’

Make someone a playlist. I promise that they will love it and appreciate the sentiment….then come onto my Facebook page here and tell us all about it ,share it if you like!

Here’s my playlist if you’re interested

3 Little Buttons



The things I don’t say…

I’m rubbish at verbalising my feelings. Truly rubbish . I consider myself to be a reasonably articulate woman but it ends with the feelings stuff. I could talk to you from now till the end of time about the little things , chips , Beyonce , rugby , reality TV , Doctor Foster. I can even be emotive when talking – I have on numerous occasions tried to explain a certain moment in Doctor Who to none watchers and shed tears!! I can speak passionately about feminism , domestic abuse , mental health. My deep feelings though , they are just impossible to articulate. That’s why I write this blog I suppose , I find it easier to write down how I feel , still not really easy but words , honest heartfelt words, flow better.

I’m doing Blogtober ( a month long challenge to write every day based on a prompt) Today’s prompt was Secrets. I thought , why not write down some of those  feelings and thoughts I have that will never come out of my mouth. Not necessarily secret but things I never said that I have thought and people who have made a difference and I never got to tell them. Not that they’ll read this but some will (probably because I’ll tag them on FB)

*Possible slush alert klaxon*

My sister : My favourite human being on the planet . I do not know how I would get through this life nonsense without you. I admire you in so many ways and I wish I could be a bit more like you . On the shittest of shitty days I know that when I speak to you on the phone I’ll laugh , you get me like noone else and I love that I constantly honk laugh at your house cos it means I’m genuinely bloody happy!! I’m sorry I don’t get home enough but THAT I can rectify! I love you so so so much like properly love you ….Life would be unbearably grim without you in it , so stop using Doctor Google to diagnose yourself with life threatening illnesses please!!

The kids grandparents: You are the most amazing grandparents children could ever wish for. I appreciate how much you do for them , I love that you have the closest of relationships particularly as I have no parents to give them grandparents. I know that you love them as much as I do and thats powerful.You rock.

The school mum crew

Oh my , you lot!!! How did I ever get my child to school with everything she needs without you ??? I love that I don’t have to pretend I am winning at life round you , that I don’t have to don the Supermum cape and pretend to have parenting cracked when we all know I’m just winging it! You 3 are some of the strongest women I know with the most remarkable stories to tell and yet you just wave off what you’ve overcome as though it’s nothing. It’s not nothing , It’s bloody amazing and I’m really quite fond of you!!!

The women who ran The Freedom Programme I went to – You changed my life and saved my sanity . I couldn’t even say Thank you at the time as I didn’t even realise.Thank you so much.


Friends I’ve lost touch with

I’m the worst , I promise I’ll do better to keep in touch but we are all so bloody busy. Maybe we can have huge 50th bday parties to rival our 18ths once we all have more time on our hands. I do think of you honestly but isn’t life just quite hectic??

D – The woman who spotted a show off in a shy girls body and did great things to give that shy girl a channel for her repressed extrovert! That was huge.

E – Our conversation changed my mindset. I came home from my trip inspired and motivated and with a certain kind of confidence that comes someone listening and feeding back and being great company and all without expectation or creepiness!(rarer than you may think)

HSG – I am forever grateful for the randomness that has made ‘ this ‘ happen , I think you would say fate…. I’m started to come around to that way of thinking. I have never known another person like you (in the best way ) I’m a better person around you as you round my spiky edges ! Now to beat The Adjustment Bureau!!!

So there we are – the things we think but do not say , that quote has been rattling round in my head since I started writing this. Is it Jerry McGuire??? The name of his mission statement??

That was quite therapeutic actually !! I highly recommend it!

*edited : The things we think AND do not say was Jerry’s mission statement….you know in case it was driving you mad too….as you were!

If you’d like to read more of my meandering thoughts my Facebook page is here


Mission Mindfulness




Practical ways I tell my anxiety to keep away!

Anxiety sucks.


It can turn your average day into an overthought , catastrophizing nightmare.


I don’t have the cure I’m afraid .


I’ve read all the info , I know exercise , good nights sleep , healthy food and not drinking wine or overdosing on chocolate are what I’m meant to be doing to keep anxiety at bay. Not much fun though are they?


I can’t run when I’ve convinced myself I’m going to faint at any minute …and probably on the road…then I’ll get run over and killed… and then what will the kids do….Yes that’s my actual thought process during an anxious moment. Total pain in the arse.


I’ve never managed to stop that horrific pain through my stomach and my face going numb by eating kale.


How the hell am I meant to get a good nights sleep when I can barely breathe with the panic?



I know these tips are the sensible ones. Sometimes a run does blast away the panic , sometimes a long sleep stops the overthinking.



Over the years though  , I’ve gotten to grips with my anxiety to an extent. It’s personal to me and I know how to nip an episode in the bud quite often , I know how to calm myself . They may sound a bit odd but anxiety is a personal thing , there’s no one size fits all solution. Maybe some of mine may work for you . Here’s how I tell anxiety to just p**s off!!!



Phone calls to my sister.

If I’m feeling a bit wobbly , or I feel unsettled this is my go to activity. Chat , especially idle gossip and thoughtless chat is a distraction. Add to that my sisters familiar voice and calms me down.

I’m not suggesting you all ring my sister when you’re panicky , though as I always say if I could clone her I’d give you all a copy – she’s ace!!

Maybe if you have someone with whom you can partake in chit chat as a distraction though , a familiar voice , a calming influence though this could work for you .


Monday vlog indulgence

Could be a bit niche this one …stay with me.

Monday’s are always a pain in the bum aren’t they? A good start to a week though can do wonders for my head. I also love a vlog , I’m a blogger , I’m nosy why wouldn’t I?

Starting the week by watching Marian Keyes weekly vlog sets me up nicely for the week . She’s funny , she’s engaging, she’s pretty , she’s smiley ( I’m pretty sure the accent helps too) I am a big fan of her books and she’s a bit of a Twitter crush of mine if truth be told. Being told stories is another on the anxiety cheat sheet and well ,  Marian is as fab at telling stories verbally as she is writing them down. The vlogs start my Monday with a smile. In fact I recommend them (  link here : https://www.youtube.com/user/himselfkeyes) to all of you , even if you’re not quite as nutty as me!)



Joining in with small girl

My 8 year old does everything with zeal. There is no half hearted with her. On a wobbly day , taking a leaf out of her book and just joining in with her is as therapeutic as anything I know.

If it’s feeding the ducks we’re throwing the food as far as we can , if it’s drawing or colouring it takes every bit of focus we have. If it’s dancing it’s with every bit of our body.

It seems when I put my absolute all into any activity it’s really hard for my anxiety to take a grip on my mind.



Watching stand up

An obvious one really.

From the school of fake it ’till you make it!! If I’m laughing anxiety does not stand a chance.




Could be a blog post , could be a letter (yes I still write those – how quaint am I?)

More likely though it’s just a total mind dump into a notebook.

When I am anxious I overthink.

This never ends well for me , especially when it all just swirls around my mind like some kind of brain bothering hurricane. The reason I ever started this blog was because I’ve always found that writing down what bothers me helps . Having a million thoughts whizzing around this head each one causing another hundred in an anxious chain reaction means I’m not going to feel great. Picking up a pen , writing them down uncensored gets the thoughts out of the nutty mind and into a notebook where they become much less powerful. I can see how ridiculous they are written there in black in white.Then I can shut the notebook and walk away. It helps.



They’re little things , but sometimes little things help.


Do you have any little tricks that keep your anxiety in it’s place or that can calm you ?


I’d love to hear them.


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