All posts by Daydreamer mum

About Daydreamer mum

Single mum of 4, bookworm, gin fan, Overuser of exclamation marks, Loves Doctor Who, Write as I speak... A lot of waffle and 80% nonsense. Take a look at my blog covering life after domestic abuse, parenting teens and a littler one and anything else I feel I need to talk about

BlogCrush week 96 – December 14th 2018

Hello you beautiful people!!

How has your week been ?

Yesterday I turned 39!!! I had such a lovely day and

Last week’s link up was yet again full of truly brilliant posts . I feel so happy to be part of an awesomely talented and supportive bunch of writers ,you guys rock!!You make it so hard to choose a fave

I loved the blogcrush linky waaaaayy before I was part of the team. I love the idea of sharing someone elses fab work as well as your own !!

If it’s your first time here WELCOME!!!!! Have a read through the rules then add your posts!!

The Rules

  • Join in with 2 posts:
    • 1 post from your blog (personal) – no linkies please
    • 1 post from someone else’s blog (your #BlogCrush)
  • When you add your BlogCrush (post written by someone else) to the InLinkz form, put “BC” at the beginning of their title
  • Tweet your BlogCrush (& us) to let them know you’ve added them to the linky and share their link (@lucy_at_home and @daydreamer_mum). Please tweet us your own BlogCrush posts too so we can share them for you.
  • Comment using the #BlogCrush hashtag on at least these 4 posts:
    • 1 post from Host 1 (personal or BC)
    • 1 post from Host 2 (personal or BC)
    • 2x personal posts from the rest of the link up

So that’s a minimum of 4 posts.

Don’t forget to add our sparkly new badge

p>

Lucy At Home UK Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

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Us hosts are lucky enough to be able to pick a fave from the last week’s link up as our featured blog each week.

if you’re our featured blogger please take our special badge to add with your blog!

Lucy At Home UK Gentle Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-linky-ive-been-featured-blog-badge-2.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

My favourite post this week was another book related post

Lucy’s BlogCrush this week is here

My own post this week is about tricky I find shared parenting at Christmas time

Have a brilliant week everyone!!

Kelly xxx

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So all this stuff I’m meant to do before I’m 40….

I’ve perused a number of things to do before you’re 40 lists .

Oh… reason being it’s my birthday this week and I’m about to turn 39 which means at that point I’ll have 52 short weeks to fit it all in.

Thing is , they’re a bit nuts ??

It seems to do all the things I should do before I turn 40 require a lottery win and a personality change .

I found this list courtesy of The Independent so I thought I could talk you through a few of them.

Celebrate New Year’s Eve in a foreign city.

Ok this is a nice idea …however my birthday is only 2 weeks before new year so I really don’t have the planning time for this. Besides I don’t think I’ve ‘celebrated’ New Years Eve since 1998!!

Challenge yourself to complete something that seems impossible. Compete in the Ironman Triathlon, climb Mt. Everest, or finish a 100-mile race.

Woahhhhh there. Complete something impossible to me is like make it through a week without losing your purse , or dont fall over your own feet. These things seem a bit ambitious and attempting them would likely result in me never reaching 40.

Splurge on a meal at The French Laundry in California, or another three-star Michelin restaurant.

Oooo this I could do. Small girl’s life goal is to eat at a Michelin starred restaurant , she’d come ! Except I’m a very picky eater , I bet I’d not like anything. I’m one of those irritating people in restaurants who order “can I have x but without y and z”

Buy a piece of art you’re proud to display

I have 4 children I have no need to buy art! Teen boy the elder spent the entity of being 4 years old drawing me snooker tables and I still have the drawing small girl did for me of her living in a castle with Harry Styles . Those things are priceless!!

Go on a spiritual journey, whether it’s an ashram in India, the Western Wall in Jerusalem, or St. Peter’s in Vatican City.

My spiritual home is Hull though! Am I ok to stroll down Whitefriargate ,pop to the KC ,have Pattie and chips ? That’s got to count!

Learn five good wine and cheese pairings.

A) A glass of red

B) Cheese

Box ticked.

Drastically reinvent your look at least once.

Well I have kept my ‘look’ since the 90’s . My tartan skirt,thick black tights style is classic Rachel Green.

Maybe this is one I can actually pull off?? Except I’m a bit scared of reinvention?

Leave that idea with me , I’ll get back to you.

Take on a leadership position.

Ok , this is unlikely.

My social anxiety and people pleasing nature mean my version of leadership would make Theresa May look strong and stable (topical joke eh??See it’s not all vacuous nonsense!)

Get in the shape of your life.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Yeah I think I’ll have to write my own list!!!

Musings Of A Tired Mummy

BlogCrush 95 – 7th December 2018

Hello you beautiful people!!

How has your week been ?

It’s.my birthday week!! Woohoo…. although this means that I am about to enter my last year of being in my 30s .. eeeek!!

Last week’s link up was yet again full of truly brilliant posts . I feel so happy to be part of an awesomely talented and supportive bunch of writers ,you guys rock!!You make it so hard to choose a fave

I loved the blogcrush linky waaaaayy before I was part of the team. I love the idea of sharing someone elses fab work as well as your own !!

If it’s your first time here WELCOME!!!!! Have a read through the rules then add your posts!!

The Rules

  • Join in with 2 posts:
    • 1 post from your blog (personal) – no linkies please
    • 1 post from someone else’s blog (your #BlogCrush)
  • When you add your BlogCrush (post written by someone else) to the InLinkz form, put “BC” at the beginning of their title
  • Tweet your BlogCrush (& us) to let them know you’ve added them to the linky and share their link (@lucy_at_home and @daydreamer_mum). Please tweet us your own BlogCrush posts too so we can share them for you.
  • Comment using the #BlogCrush hashtag on at least these 4 posts:
    • 1 post from Host 1 (personal or BC)
    • 1 post from Host 2 (personal or BC)
    • 2x personal posts from the rest of the link up

So that’s a minimum of 4 posts.

Don’t forget to add our sparkly new badge

p>

Lucy At Home UK Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-logo-parenting-lifestyle-linky.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

Us hosts are lucky enough to be able to pick a fave from the last week’s link up as our featured blog each week.

if you’re our featured blogger please take our special badge to add with your blog!

Lucy At Home UK Gentle Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-linky-ive-been-featured-blog-badge-2.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

My favourite post this week was strangely easy for me as a bookworm

Lucy’s BlogCrush this week is here

My own post this week is looking back at how to spend Christmas with people you’d rather not .

Have a brilliant week everyone!!

Kelly xxx

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BlogCrush week 94- November 30th 2018

Hello you beautiful people!!

How has your week been ?

Well here we are on the last day of November!! Christmas is most certainly around the corner. Eeeeekk!!

Last week’s link up was yet again full of truly brilliant posts . I feel so happy to be part of an awesomely talented and supportive bunch of writers ,you guys rock!!You make it so hard to choose a fave

I loved the blogcrush linky waaaaayy before I was part of the team. I love the idea of sharing someone elses fab work as well as your own !!

If it’s your first time here WELCOME!!!!! Have a read through the rules then add your posts!!

#BlogCrush

The Rules

  • Join in with 2 posts:
    • 1 post from your blog (personal) – no linkies please
    • 1 post from someone else’s blog (your #BlogCrush)
  • When you add your BlogCrush (post written by someone else) to the InLinkz form, put “BC” at the beginning of their title
  • Tweet your BlogCrush (& us) to let them know you’ve added them to the linky and share their link (@lucy_at_home and @daydreamer_mum). Please tweet us your own BlogCrush posts too so we can share them for you.
  • Comment using the #BlogCrush hashtag on at least these 4 posts:
    • 1 post from Host 1 (personal or BC)
    • 1 post from Host 2 (personal or BC)
    • 2x personal posts from the rest of the link up

So that’s a minimum of 4 posts.

Don’t forget to add our sparkly new badge

Lucy At Home UK Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-logo-parenting-lifestyle-linky.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

Us hosts are lucky enough to be able to pick a fave from the last week’s link up as our featured blog each week.

if you’re our featured blogger please take our special badge to add with your blog!

Lucy At Home UK Gentle Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-linky-ive-been-featured-blog-badge-2.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

My favourite post this week was this very relatable piece about self sabotage by A Frazzled Mum.

Lucy’s BlogCrush this week was How will we ever talk about this

My own post this week is looking back at how much more simple Christmas was when I was a kid.

Have a brilliant week everyone!!

Kelly xxx

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My parents had Christmas so easy….didn’t they???

Surely they did??

Our Christmas as kids was pretty simple. Through my hazy rose tinted glasses at any rate. Probably didn’t feel that simple to my parents . Same financial pressure , same pressure to make the kids happy. There just didn’t seem to be so many little extras.

It was kind of basic our Christmas but oh I did absolutely adore it.

We’d watch The Snowman on Christmas Eve , presents on Christmas morning (after our dad had played some kind of pantomime scrooge , pretending to take aaaggggeeesss to get ready to go downstairs and see if ‘he’d been’ ) Have a huge Christmas dinner (after my mam had barred everyone from the kitchen whilst she created her masterpiece!) , board games , a film then another load of food under the guise of the Christmas tea buffet (a tradition I have since adopted for us )

It sounds so very simple, but was Christmas the most exciting time as a kid ?? Absolutely.

Laying Christmas Eve too excited to sleep but knowing you really have to , awaiting true magic to happen is just something never replicated as a grown up!!

I absolutely adored Christmas as a kid . It just seems like it was a little less busy back then.

Things my parents never had to do :

ELF ON THE SHELF

Seriously elves making a mess all over the house?? My mam would have had a fit! She liked our place clean and tidy thank you very much!!Flour snow angels all over the kitchen floor? she’d have rounded up the little buggers and put them in a cage till they could learn to behave)*

*Disclaimer – my sister and I were never put in cages till we could learn to behave I promise. Mainly because I was born impeccably behaved , and well my sister was cute enough to be able to get away with her nonsense.

SCOUT THE BEST SANTA EXPERIENCE EVER

(then book it 3 months in advance)

Now no one wants their kid to see a crap Santa , that is a magic of Christams ruiner!

My mam took my sister and I to queue in Alders for an hour if she was feeling fancy. Bransholme centre if feeling less so!! -Job done ?

When in years past checking out santas for small girl I’m looking at garden centres? What’s the gift quality like? Are there ACTUAL REINDEERS????

REINDEER FOOD FOR CHRISTMAS EVE

Again mess??? Litter ?? not a chance!!

CHRISTMAS CRAFTS

I bloody love Christmas crafts , small girl is a fan too!!

We love making christmas crackers (although we do buy a box too because i am not having Christmas pass me by without getting my hands on a fortune telling fish!!) , salt dough decorations (one time our scented versions will actually work) , tree ornaments?

Hobbycraft at Christmas is our idea of heaven!

I do know that everyone doesn’t feel the same way about crafts. I know some parents hate it and fair enough it’s a messy , frustrating with the very small ones , time consuming business. All I’ll say is I never remember my mam having to glitter herself into a festive meltdown because HOW CAN YOU RUIN YOUR KIDS LIFE BY NOT MAKING SALTDOUGH WITH THEM!!!!Or thats how the pressure feels at times!!

We used to get a pack of those cheap paperchains that you licked to get them to stick together…..only they never did!!!

CHRISTMAS BAKING

Obviously we have small girl – masterchef extraordinaire!

Shortbread Christmas trees , melted snowman cupcakes , rudolph muffins she’s up for all that , it makes her happy. My mam ONE years made butterfly buns . My sister and I are still traumatised by the taste , the texture and the whole occasion. I blame this entirely on why I don’t like cake. Bless my mam she wasn’t a natural baker – as I am not.

CHRISTMAS DAYS OUT

Winter Wonderland , Christmas markets , festive concerts , going to chop down your very own tree (may or may not be a thing)

We had a Christmas disco and fair at school (parents didn’t even have to show up , just send you off with your 20p in an envelope and all was good!)

I guess the point I’m making is that Christmas as a kid for me was the best best thing ever ever ever, even a bit simpler. Maybe we could all do to take a breath and realise we don’t have to do ALL the things in order to make Christmas a goer. Christmas is going to be magical for the little ones nevertheless.

I love all the Christmas fuss , crafts and elves and all that nonsense . However if we don’t make Winter Wonderland Christmas isn’t going to to be a disaster!!

Also I have to confess to a bit of a hunch….my mam seemed to have less pressure to do all the festive fuss when we were kids , however if she was still alive now you can bet your bottom dollar she’d be knee deep in glitter and elves and Christmas Eve boxes for the grandkids – mess or no mess!!

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Musings Of A Tired Mummy

BlogCrush week 93 – November 23rd 2018

Hello you beautiful people!!

How has your week been ?

The girls and I paid our first visit to the Christmas Markets. I know it’s only November still but we couldn’t resist !!!

Last week’s link up was yet again full of truly brilliant posts . I feel so happy to be part of an awesomely talented and supportive bunch of writers ,you guys rock!!You make it so hard to choose a fave

I loved the blogcrush linky waaaaayy before I was part of the team. I love the idea of sharing someone elses fab work as well as your own !!

If it’s your first time here WELCOME!!!!! Have a read through the rules then add your posts!!

#BlogCrush

The Rules

  • Join in with 2 posts:
    • 1 post from your blog (personal) – no linkies please
    • 1 post from someone else’s blog (your #BlogCrush)
  • When you add your BlogCrush (post written by someone else) to the InLinkz form, put “BC” at the beginning of their title
  • Tweet your BlogCrush (& us) to let them know you’ve added them to the linky and share their link (@lucy_at_home and @daydreamer_mum). Please tweet us your own BlogCrush posts too so we can share them for you.
  • Comment using the #BlogCrush hashtag on at least these 4 posts:
    • 1 post from Host 1 (personal or BC)
    • 1 post from Host 2 (personal or BC)
    • 2x personal posts from the rest of the link up

So that’s a minimum of 4 posts.

Don’t forget to add our sparkly new badge

Lucy At Home UK Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-logo-parenting-lifestyle-linky.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

Us hosts are lucky enough to be able to pick a fave from the last week’s link up as our featured blog each week.

if you’re our featured blogger please take our special badge to add with your blog!

Lucy At Home UK Gentle Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-linky-ive-been-featured-blog-badge-2.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

My favourite post this week was this inspirational post about eating disorders , recovery from them and advice for those trying to help someone suffering

Lucy’s BlogCrush this week was Merry Lagom Christmas

My own post this week is looking back at what’s been a tough year and picking out the positives and feeling grateful for them.

Have a brilliant week everyone!!

Kelly xxx

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Gratitude and 2018

So …I feel I may have slightly jinxed 2018 you know . After really feeling like 2017 was the start of something fabulous 2018 just hasn’t lived up to my own hype. Tempting as it is to write a tale of woe and self pity about that I am choosing instead to focus on the positives , to be grateful for the good in this year. Can I share ??

Eldest’s new career

Eldest struggled with college . It simply just didnt suit him. It actually made him bloody miserable and that was horrible to see of course.

I’m so incredibly proud though of how he has turned stuff around for himself . He’s now in a job that , I think, (for the most part) makes him happy. That he seems to be doing really well in. It’s like seeing a whole new man. He turned 18 this year too and honestly I can’t tell you how much I admire him as a human . He’s hard working and kind and empathetic and I’m the luckiest woman in the world to be the one who he calls mum.

Football Frenzy

Ok ok so the World Cup didn’t QUITE come home . For a while there though , when we dared to believe it might , wasn’t it just magical ?

We’re a football loving family , to say excitement reached fever pitch in this house is almost an understatement. We had snack , we had flags , we had a cracking playlist and we had a lucky t -shirt. In a supremely clever turn of events teen boy the younger even got small girl involved which was a surprise to us all ! You can read about his absolutely genius plan just here . Teen girl was not won round though , would have taken more than a wall chart to convince her !

A trip to York

Unfortunately eldest was busy working hard when we had a teeny mini break in your so it was just the 4 of us .

York is my fave place ,I love it .

I have so many happy memories of the place throughout the years .

To have a bit of time together somewhere different was really nice . Small girl has plans to return next year so I think it must have made a good impression on her . From Harry Potter shops in the Shambles to escapology in the street . Ice cream boats to boat rides it was great fun and I hope we can squeeze a few more adventures in next year .

The best date ever

*blushes*

Indulge me ??

I’m not a woman who gets giddy over boys . I certainly wasn’t the kind of woman who developed teenage crushes at almost 40…..well till I was !

Long term readers may remember my Boyfriend List well I won’t get all Noel Edmonds on you but I’m not ridiculing the whole cosmic ordering thing quite so hard currently!

One particular mini break date was so thoughtful every theatre show ,every restaurant, every bar was so carefully chosen with what I like in mind it was just the most thoughtful thing and I was mind blown by how well someone can know me ! (I’m meant to be ice queen extraordinaire aren’t I ?)

So those were some highlights of a tricky year but I’m going to hold on to them tightly and do everything within my power with the rest of the year to make 2019 full of happy experiences and highlights .

My Facebook page is here if you fancy

Not Just the 3 of Us

BlogCrush week 92 – November 16th 2018

Hello you beautiful people!!

How has your week been ?

Been pretty quiet here , nothing much to report . Small girl had an exciting time when she got to meet David Walliams at a book signing. Her plan to write books on her days off from being a chef in a Michelin starred restaurant gather pace.

Last week’s link up was full of truly brilliant posts . I feel so happy to be part of an awesomely talented and supportive bunch of writers ,you guys rock!!

I loved the blogcrush linky waaaaayy before I was part of the team. I love the idea of sharing someone elses fab work as well as your own !!

If it’s your first time here WELCOME!!!!! Have a read through the rules then add your posts!!

#BlogCrush

The Rules

  • Join in with 2 posts:
    • 1 post from your blog (personal) – no linkies please
    • 1 post from someone else’s blog (your #BlogCrush)
  • When you add your BlogCrush (post written by someone else) to the InLinkz form, put “BC” at the beginning of their title
  • Tweet your BlogCrush (& us) to let them know you’ve added them to the linky and share their link (@lucy_at_home and @daydreamer_mum). Please tweet us your own BlogCrush posts too so we can share them for you.
  • Comment using the #BlogCrush hashtag on at least these 4 posts:
    • 1 post from Host 1 (personal or BC)
    • 1 post from Host 2 (personal or BC)
    • 2x personal posts from the rest of the link up

So that’s a minimum of 4 posts.

Don’t forget to add our sparkly new badge

Lucy At Home UK Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-logo-parenting-lifestyle-linky.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

Us hosts are lucky enough to be able to pick a fave from the last week’s link up as our featured blog each week.

if you’re our featured blogger please take our special badge to add with your blog!

Lucy At Home UK Gentle Parenting Blogger - Blogcrush Week 89

<a href="https://lucyathome.co.uk/" title="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger"><img src="https://lucyathome.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/blogcrush-linky-ive-been-featured-blog-badge-2.png" alt="Lucy At Home UK gentle parenting blogger" style="border: none;" /></a>

My favourite post this week was this amazing post about oxygen time for parents

Lucy’s BlogCrush this week was lessons I’ve learnt after a year in Italy

My own post this week is a festive one . Now the Christmas ads are out I wrote about how they tell big fibs!!

Have a brilliant week everyone!!

Kelly xxx

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Being kinder ….to yourself

It’s World Kindness Day today.

I think we’d all like to live in a kinder world. I think in such times we are living in currently kindness could possibly be the only thing that could save us from tiptoeing into a scary,bleak future.

We can all work on being kinder , being less judgemental , being more compassionate and empathetic and caring . Let’s take national kindness day to do just that.

What I’d like to focus on though is showing yourself some kindness.

Self neglect seems to be very trendy right now. Talking about how you are so busy you don’t get 5 minutes to sit down ever , competitive busyness seems very en vogue. Battle of the burnout???

Everyone has busy lives , we are dragged in many different directions and everyone seems to want a piece of us at times it seems. As far as I can see continuing like this can only end one way and that’s an absolute meltdown , physically and mentally and then what use are we to anyone ? On the manic days giving yourself 15 minutes probably feels impossible . Just try though . Be kind to yourself and let yourself have time to just sit and be and breathe and it might just be the boost you need to get you through a hectic few hours .

Show yourself kindness by being mindful about how you speak about yourself. I read once , a way to keep an eye on this is never to say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say about your best friend . My worst thing here is calling myself thick. I’m forgetful , I’m absent minded and I’m often found in daydreamy Kellyland wth odd shoes on . I’m not stupid though , I’m a relatively intelligent woman. Would I call a friend thick ? Never – because I find that a horrid word to use . So next time you call yourself the worst mum or fat or lazy or unattractive. Stop and think , would you say that to your best friend. Likely not because these are unkind words . Be as kind to yourself as you are others.

Be kind to yourself on a bad day by getting yourself a little treat. Buy yourself flowers , get yourself a trashy mag and a fruit and nut , take yourself for a coffee where you don’t need to make it or wash it up afterwards.

Mum guilt often stops us treating ourselves but it doesn’t have to be a holiday or a spa day . Just a little treat will make a bad day seem a little less bad , or at the very least make yourself feel loved and cared about , even if it is by yourself !!

So lets be kind to others this World Kindness Day. Let’s be equally kind to ourselves .

A little win is a win nonetheless…

I love that word – nonetheless . It just feels quite wrong and doesn’t fit to either the pen nor the tongue does it? Arrggh already waffling on and haven’t even begun yet!

When you suffer from social anxiety it’s really tricky to explain to people how difficult it can be to do usual day to day things. How tasks and interactions that other people wouldn’t give a second thought to can be and feel impossible.

I wish this wasn’t the case. I wish I could click my fingers and make my social anxiety disappear . That I would find myself sauntering down the street with confidence , head up, shoulders back .Striding along looking people dead in the eye .

NOT attempting to take up as little space in the world as possible.

NOT choosing self service tills to avoid human interaction.

NOT struggling to express myself on subjects I know I am knowledgeable about for fear of other people thinking I’m wrong and stupid.

These are big things though , big deals . I don’t expect to wake up tomorrow and be able to suddenly be a changed woman with a changed brain that doesn’t tell her lies about what other people think of her.

I’m left then charting progress by celebrating little victories . Chalking up the small wins. The times I don’t let the voice of social anxiety that lives in my brain whispering ” everyone thinks you’re pathetic” win whenever I have to engage with fellow humans.

I thought maybe if I tell you some of my recent little wins , and some of them are really tiny , maybe some of you could relate and give yourselves a pat on the back for your recent little victories.

I ANSWERED THE PHONE (MORE THAN ONCE)

I wrote here about my phone anxiety . I bloody can’t stand phonecalls . Often because of my accent I think (that’s what i blame anyway) people don’t always understand what I’m saying and all it takes is a “pardon?” or “can you repeat that?” and that’s me done .

Anxiety voice telling me the person on the other end of the phone thinks I’m an idiot who can’t even talk properly.

NOT this week. Now this is not a courage mind over matter thing. It was a backed into a corner type thing. They were important phonecalls , I had no choice. Were they as awful as I’d feared ? Course not ! It was fine .

That’s anxiety though isn’t it , it’s power is having you worried and catastrophising (my therapist’s fave word!)

I TOOK A JUMPER BACK TO A SHOP

Again pretty easy stuff here , surely ?

Errr well no not for me !

I bought a jumper , the sleeves were so long they could have made a straitjacket (not lost on me !)

Now it wasn’t very expensive so ordinarily faced with the choice of taking it back and dealing with someone who might ask me all kind of questions or just putting on the charity shop pile – then congrats charity shop you bagged yourself a nice new jumper.

Anxiety voice would be telling me the shop assistant would be thinking I was so stupid and how could she not even be able to buy the right size jumper.

This week I did it , shop person was lovely – win for me!

I ASKED FOR SUGAR

Now this is what I meant when I said some of these wins are tiny. However as it was big enough for me to point out to the friend I was with at the time then it deserves a mention here.

We were in a cafe . I was slurping away at my tea as per. However when i went to pour my second cup – shock horror , there was only brown sugar cubes left in the bowl. Ordinarily I’d have just used them so as not to make a fuss and silently berated myself for ruining perfectly good tea because I was too lame to ask for some more white sugar (yes it DOES make a difference , I’m from Yorkshire I am picky about my tea!)

On this occasion I asked the perfectly friendly and helpful gentleman for some white sugar and guess what? He brought it . It was that simple , the earth didn’t crumble beneath my feet or anything!

Social anxiety sucks !!

Little wins though , they’ve got to be little carefully trodden stepping stones to a big one . I have faith in that!

Musings Of A Tired Mummy
Mission Mindfulness