Tag Archives: teenage crush

The perils of a teenage crush….. when you’re way too old for that! 

I’ve been banging on a bit recently about a certain lovely guy. It’s all fantastic and fun and I’m having the best time. I just can’t help feeling I’ve come into all this stuff a bit late in the day. I’m a bit of an oddball in that at 37 I’ve never done the ‘love stuff’… . ever! ! I’ve probably done a bit of low level crushing but that’s as far as it goes. I just don’t (didn’t) get giddy over guys. So I’ve got to tell you there are distinct perils of waiting till you’re 37 to develop a teenage crush.

It’s really quite unbecoming 

Love that word!! Anyway giddily smiling at your phone over a cute text or sat  daydreaming all gooey eyed does not suit a woman of my age. People would take one look and either think I’m on some kinda drug or are just a bit vacant!!
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It’s tricky to know how to play it

I mean back in the day I last had a major crush when I were about 7 this did the trick. .

A grown mum of 4 doesn’t really have these options at her disposal.

What do I do in this position? I don’t bloody know and I don’t want to look like a total idiot who doesn’t know how to deal with men.

Spoiler alert : I am a total idiot who doesn’t know how to deal with men.

Do I answer texts right away? Can I just call at any time? Should I be playing hard to get? Sigh….

I really should have gotten this stuff out of the way when I had way more time on my hands!

My mental health ‘quirks’ confuse matters

Aaawww you know when you’re all crushy over someone? Butterflies in the tummy, a little appetite loss, replaying little moments in your mind to give them a second go, you sometimes get a little bit breathless around them?

WELL. Which bloody genius decided to make all these things also my anxiety symptoms. Not very well thought out this one! Sooo confusing.

Welcome to Kelly’s new quiz show… Adoration or Anxiety? ?? Thriller it is!

I behave like the opposite of me

I’m not really emotions girl.

I’m certainly not affection girl.

I’m certainly, certainly not public handholdy girl *vomits *

Until I am….

I don’t recognise myself – I’m not quite up to love poetry or heartfelt sentiment yet. Getting there though. I mean not long back whilst looking at the object of my crush I thought to myself “You’re so gorgeous”. . . Unfortunately it accidentally slipped out of my mouth-seriously Kelly get a bloody grip ! ! I suppose though if being around someone rounds off your sharp spiky edges a little bit or manages to negotiate the 10 foot high electric fence you surround yourself with – well that’s got to be a positive.

So you know it is quite cringey for a grown woman to be floating about like a besotted teenager, it’s just I didn’t do it back then you see? I’m just on catch up with the rest of you! Should you guys fancy an insight into my actual teen years though, just lay on your bed reading and avoiding the world for a couple of years.

However cringey it is though-in the current climate, I think that anything that makes you smile is probably worth holding onto for a little while! !!

 

Not Just The 3 Of Us

Things I should’ve gotten out of my system as a teen

I was a dull teenager. I didn’t really do that much. I didn’t hang out on street corners with dodgy boys drinking white cider, I left that to my sister (sorry Lou!)

Now I’m in my 30’s I’m really way too old to pull off all the teenage nonsense and there are some things I wish I’d done back then that I do feel like I’ve maybe missed out on! Can I tell you about some of them?

Experimented with clothes
I’m no style icon. We all know that. I still dress like Rachel Green stuck in a tartan skirt/jumper combo best left in the 90’s. I wish I’d have been a bit  braver when I was younger, not cared what people thought and developed my own style. I recently saw Me Before You. Other than the incessant weeping, the other thing I got from the film was the biggest sense of clothes envy ever. I loved Lou’s wardrobe in the movie. In fact I’m going to buy myself a pair of bumble bee tights, balls to it!!

Broken the rules
I was a bit of a goody two shoes, bloody love that phrase! as a kid (ask my siblings). I didn’t like getting into trouble. I liked being the good one. I never really crossed any lines or tested any boundaries. The most rebellious thing I ever did was to take my library books back late. Only kidding of course, I’d never take my library books back overdue, what kind of monster do you think I am?! It’s really too late to start with all the rule breaking now I’m a woman in her 30’s with 4 children in tow! I can’t but help feeling I missed out on the fun whilst I were down at the library. Maybe I can be a nightmarish old lady, get it out of my system.

Had a teenage crush
I never really got giddy over boys as a teen. Even when I did have a boyfriend I wasn’t over keen. I never scratched anyone’s name into my pencil case, never practised my signature with the object of my desires surname. None of it.Let me tell you it’s really quite unbecoming of a 37 year old woman to be smiling at her phone at a cute text like a loon!
Should definitely have gotten that out of my system before now. Now. Where’s my pencil case…

Gotten drunk and thrown up in my handbag
Now I’m not saying that I’ve never been crazy drunk. That would be a massive fib. I’ll not even claim I’m never had wine related vomiting incidents BUT I should definitely have done these as a 15 year old rather than a 35 year old.
A hangover at my age lasts at least 2 days and wipes out energy levels for near on a week. Kids and even the tiniest of hangovers as a combo is how I imagine Hell to be (probably with soft play as an added extra!) Really should’ve gotten hangovers out of the way when staying in bed with no one needing anything from me was an option.

So yes in hindsight there are things I should’ve gotten out of the way as a teen but being in your 30’s is pretty rock n roll too. I mean on a Saturday night when the kids are away,  come 7pm I’ll be in my pj’s, pizza on lap, merlot poured.Wild eh? ! 

Yeah I’ll leave the crazy to the teens, I’d not have been any good at it anyway!!