Has blogging cured my social anxiety?

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I’m not sure social anxiety is ever truly cured , not if you’ve always been quite a nervous person. I can’t remember the last time I got the fear though , the people fear.

I can’t remember last time the thought of the self checkouts being shut brought me out in a cold sweat because I’d have to deal with a real life person.

I can’t remember the last time I did the thing where you meet someone new and you get yourself so worked up that you open your mouth to speak thinking to yourself “don’t say something stupid ,don’t say something stupid” only to open your mouth and pure gibberish exits, making the anxiety even worse.

I’ve embraced group situations recently , even groups of strangers . I’ve socialised more.

There is of course the fact I’ve some great people in my life who make socialising fun and who believe in me so much it rubs off on me this has eased the social anxiety.

I do think though that blogging might have been the biggest factor.

It’s not as nuts as it sounds , honestly. Humour me ?

I think the main factor is with blogging I am communicating via the written word. Always my favourite. Some of my raw , honest blog posts would never have been given life if I had to say them out loud. I’m getting better but I don’t find vocalising emotions easy.

So communicating via my method of choice brings with it a freedom.

I can tell my stories without needing to speak out loud . I don’t have to make eye contact , I don’t have to scan peoples expressions to see if they’re bored yet , I don’t have to panic noone can understand my accent.

Written down I can express myself in a way more relaxed manner , that has to be a very good start.

Also when I’m blogging I’m generally talking about something I am passionate about , a little knowlegable about or have strong opinions about. This is really helpful. It means follow up questions aren’t terrifying , I can back up what I’m saying with knowledge or anecdotes.

For a socially anxious person , or me at least , being asked or put on the spot with questions or conversations you don’t have a clue about is just terrifying and horrible and the phrase “wish the ground would open up and swallow me ” really comes into it’s own.

The blogging community helps too. All the little groups of people I never would have known ordinarily. People who have been through similar life experiences as I have. People who are honest and open about the challenges parenthood , and indeed life, throw at you. People whose lives have been really different to mine , but we have this blogging thing in common and a sense of familiarity.

Best of all these blog friends and I , well we again communicate via the written word. Social media is great for that . I think Twitter is my chatty place the most but there I can be chatty girl who doesn’t get her words muddled (too much) I can be semi articulate and free to think myself mildly amusing because the restraints that always held me back ( I blush when people talk to me…like a 5 years old , it’s excruciating) are removed. I suppose as well in this arena if people think you’re a bit of a twat well they’ll just unfollow you or not engage with you , quite direct and effective .

I just realised as well ,as I’m writing I’m using the present tense .

“I blush”

“I muddle my words”

Except , and this is the whole point of the post I guess (ah come off it Kelly when have you ever kept to the point?)

I think maybe spending time blogging , building up relationships with people online. Feeling connections with people . Being free to be my chatty , geeky self well that’s had a knock on effect to my actual real life too. Dislike that phrase ‘real life’ makes me feel like I’ve made up all my online buddies. Can’t think of an alternative though. Anyway spending time building relationships via my comfy method has given me the confidence to then take that out into my world. In all the years I’ve tweeted with folk they’ve always been so lovely and positive (except that spat I had with the Male Rights Activists but they’d not be on my Christmas card list anyway so no great loss) that I feel I am able to be braver and put myself out there with people.

My blog started life as an anonymous one , but people’s reactions to it gave me the confidence to then share it with people I do know.

Putting myself out there , being just me – the girl who loves Doctor Who , Andy Murray and chips. The girl who goes to the cinema and the theatre and for dinner alone through choice because she loves it , the bookworm and the dozy human who can often be found with her clothes on inside out. Well my blogger pals , my lovely twitter folk who I’ll likely never meet all made me feel good about just being her. It’s transferred into my day to day life that confidence.

I went to a group workshop last week ( old Kelly’s idea of hell) and I spoke and I contributed and I got to know a group of strangers because I spoke to them without worrying everyone was going to think I was an idiot…and if they did well I didn’t really mind they were strangers.

I can strike up conversations with people I don’t know without palpitations.

I sometimes even CHOOSE the tills with people at them!

The blushy girl is all but gone ( unless she’s talking to that handsome guy she hangs around with sometimes!)

Blogging has most certainly helped!!

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After The Playground
3 Little Buttons

JakiJellz

Musings Of A Tired Mummy
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34 thoughts on “Has blogging cured my social anxiety?

  1. This is a lovely post. I agree, I think that blogging and making online connections can trip over into real life in the nicest possible way. I definitely feel as though I have more direction since sitting down and really thinking long and hard about what I want from my blogging outlet. #TriumphantTales

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  2. I think that starting a blog anonymously can help you to open up, and that stays with you as you leave anonymity behind. It’s a bit tougher to achieve a personal change if you don’t start anonymously – at least, that’s what I think. I am so glad it’s helped you.

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    1. I definitely think you’re right . Had I not started that way I think I’d have been way too guarded for it to have worked !

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  3. I love this aspect of blogging too Kelly: blogging gives me pause for thought before I put stuff out and I can edit until I am happy that I have said what I wanted to say as clearly as possible… and edit again even afterwards!!! And then sharing conversations with fellow bloggers is just as good too. Great post #Tweensteensbeyond

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  4. You are right, it is often so much easier to articulate ourselves in writing. Writing is always good for getting our thoughts down. I do like a bit of a natter too but I’d never manage to blurt out a whole post worth of thoughts as succinctly as writing them. Weird this blogging isn’t it. I never had you down as a till avoider! I’m sure you do yourself an injustice. Glad to hear the handsome man is still keeping you blushing! Thanks for sharing with #tweensteensbeyond

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    1. Yes writing is so much more preferable!!! Ha total till avoider but something always goes wrong leading someone to bound over anyway 😂

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  5. I’m also a bit socially anxious and I think from a generation where over-sharing was never a thing, so blogging about personal issues, as I do, has been a big step – one that took me well over a year to be honest. But I wholeheartedly agree that it’s been helpful – my blog is anonymous but publishing, getting comments and reading more widely of others’ blogs has been confidence boosting and, like you, I’m now sharing it with more people I might actually meet again in ‘real life’ too. Interesting post! #tweensteensbeyond

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  6. I love that with blogging, I can think about what to say first and even edit my post. Just like you, I am more comfortable with online social interaction. Thank God for the blogging world! #BlogCrush

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  7. Lovely post and I seems blogging is leaving a positive impact on you. I’d say it has done the same for me as well and has made me think more in a visiones sense where I’m not afraid to approach brands, other bloggers, etc. It’s given me more confidence.

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  8. I think this can be said about all of us. When we write we can rework, delete, add. There is comfort in that. #bloggercursh

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  9. I prefer to communicate in the written format, I get order my thoughts and rewrite until I feel I’ve communicated my thoughts and intentions clearly and concisely. I do however love to interact verbally with people and that helps to get my brain straight when I’m trying to work things through #blogcrush

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  10. Love, love love this post. I had massive social anxiety as a child, teen and young adult and slowly, slowly I’ve chiped away at it, to the point where I function pretty normally (although taking my car to the garage this morning still made me feel a bit sick!) I’ve only been blogging with a personal blog for a few months but if it helps my social anxiety more that will be amazing. #blogcrush

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  11. I relate to this post so strongly! I love that in my blog, I can think carefully about what I’m going to say and get it worded exactly how I want before flinging it out into the world – whereas when I’m talking to people face-to-face, my brain is trying to second-guess itself all the time and I get all tied up in knots and stumble over what I want to say. #blogcrush

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  12. This resonates with me, I started my blog as a form of therapy as recommended by my counsellor. It worked, it’s not a cure and I still have my bad days believe me but it has helped, especially when I get feedback from people in the same boat who can relate to what I’ve written. I don’t feel so alone.

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  13. Totally agree with this! I’ve alsays been a bit crap in social situations but blogging has definitely helped to improve my confidence xxx #blogcrush

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  14. Kelly there is no doubt blogging has so much to offer and is the perfect therapy. I would have been lost without it over the last year and the wonderful support of all my online buddies. I have loved getting to know you through your posts and there is definitely a lovely new confidence in your writing which is clearly reflecting the renewed spring in your step and love of life. Looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds from here. Thanks for linking with us this week. #TweensTeensBeyond

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