The sweetest sixteen…

Once upon a time there was a baby. 

He was ever so beautiful , ever so cuddly and ever so hungry. His favourite hobbies were waking up every hour to be fed , cuddles , soft fleecy blankets ,being held and the occasional nap between meals. He had a big brother who loved to slobber all over him (kiss him he would say) and show him off like he was the crown jewels.The baby had little choice in this whole ‘brother’ thing bit he never seemed to mind too much .

The baby grew bigger , unsurprisingly given his milk intake and discovered food was a thing. It was a revelation !! It got better than milk!!! I mean porridge – whoever invented that bad boy was a genius according to our baby!

He carried on growing,much like the story of the Very Hungry Caterpillar only instead of becoming a beautiful butterfly he became the world’s cutest toddler ! Seriously I only have to think of his blonde hair and huge eyes and my womb starts having funny ideas. He was a bit clumsy and fell over his own feet a lot . His mummy just assumed that was genetic as she did too….turned out years and years of doctors and A and E trips and podiatrist appointments down the line he had a bend in a bone in his leg that noone picked up on and that’s why he fell. His mummy felt pretty bad about that but wondered if she could get in on some of this bent leg action to account for her clumsiness. 

Our world’s cutest toddler also struggled with his speech a bit. Again his mummy would insist to anyone who dare mention this that she could understand him as could his auntie and grandma so if you couldn’t that’s your problem. Much to mummy’s dismay a speech therapist fixed our hero and ‘doos’ became shoes and ‘nunny’ became dummy and mummy cursed that speech therapist as his mispronunciation was just adorable .

Pre schooler boy loved collecting. Really loved collecting. Wooden Thomas trains , Bob the Builder toys , Engie Benjy vehicles! What do you mean what’s Engie Benjy??It was kind of a Bob rival but voiced by Ant and Dec , it was pretty cool!! He’d spend hours racing these toys all separated into teams and leagues . He’d never grow out of liking a good league . 

Seriously I could just squish that little face !!!




He also loved setting ridiculous challenges for the adults in his life requesting green dummies and elephant shaped biscuits and other bizarre items. The grown ups in his life of course would take on these challenges because if you succeeded you’d be his hero!!

Through primary school at some point our boy discovered football . His elder brother had always been a sports nut but younger boy wasn’t keen. Until he was obsessed ….a character trait from his mum being he is either obsessed by something or has zero interest. We don’t really do in between. The boy breathes football. He has his precious Hull City and beloved Stockport County but it goes deeper than that. One night he and I sat and he was looking at obscure Greek football tables and results for hours .

He also became an author ! His Dusty Rusty series were a triumph! Well we all thought so anyway, I can still imagine they’ll be published one day!

The dreaded teen years came …. but they were …well great actually!!! When you’ve had 3 babies under 3 – teenagers who can feed themselves and toilet alone bring not a lot to fear really. 

He also bloody loves an evening with a rom com

So today that hungry ,cute,  cuddly baby is now – well a hungry, cute ,  cuddly 16 year old actually. An amazing young man who thinks a lot and questions a lot. Who is creative and thoughtful and kind and caring. Who would still wake to eat hourly if he could get away with it . Who does the best Garth Crooks impression and who is going to go on Pointless with me as his knowledge is pretty widespread and impressive. Whose personality I can see reflecting back at me like a mirror which is weird . …and frustrating as hell should we disagree and both dig our heels in as far as they can possibly go!!

Happy Birthday gorgeous one ! I’m so lucky to get to be the one you call mum , you’re a delight and I am so proud of the person you are . I can’t wait to watch you change the world in your own thoughtful , considered way . The universe is made infinitely better by having you in it!
Xxxxx

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Reasons little sisters are awesome (mine specifically)

It’s something that will be held against me all of my life , but an anecdote told over and over by my mam. When they brought home my little baby sister from the hospital she was squarking away whilst I was trying to watch Rainbow (and just remember you only got one shot at kids TV back then , no iPlayer or all day kids channel) I turned to my parents and said “Why couldn’t we just have got a dog instead of a baby” which given the circumstances highlighted above I’m sure you can completely understand!! 

She’s grown on me through the years though and now I’m a big fan of my little sister . Here’s why she’s awesome : 

1) She makes me laugh like noone else in the world does , has or will.

At least once everytime I talk to her on the phone I laugh , at her house I spend half the time guffawing ,or honking as my nephew once referred to it.

She’s just a naturally funny human , we were going to turn her into a stand up comedian once but we only really had 2 jokes!! I don’t know if this is a universal younger sibling thing or not !

She is my personal shopper 

She sends stuff like this. I appreciate it. 




She produces fabulously quirky humans

Eldest nephew has the same hilarious traits as his mother , he is so funny I am going to have to step up my campaign to get him to write me a guest blog. My niece is so like me I think shes amazing , goody two shoes with a slightly clumsy side , how is that not just adorable. WE ARE ADORABLE NOT ANNOYING!! Youngest nephew is the quirkiest of all…. I’ll just leave this here….

Yep….just casually reading the Bible in the Drs surgery…

She’s down with the kids

Literally on the floor ,taken down by the kids after challenging this one to a wrestling match……fool




She makes me feel really wise….

Especially about cooking!!! 

Once years ago she did ask me how you should cook lettuce so we’ve certainly moved on…

Unfortunately I think I have just been an extraordinary advice giver as her dinner pics these days are delicious, bit hey this is meant to be about her not me!

In jokes are the funniest thing!

This is the case for most people, there is nothing funnier than having someone around you can just say a word or two and they know exactly what you mean….also since gifs I can take it to a new level…. 

Tee hee hee stupid monpole !

She’s a hangover fairy godmother

Wine gets consumed when I make it home for a visit. A lot of wine. 

Yet you always wake up amazingly hangover free in the morning…..you can’t understand it ,you think you’ve managed to get back to your pre child self who didn’t get hangovers.

Until she tells you she woke you with painkillers and water at the crack of dawn in a preemptive strike!! Magic! 

She is a one off….

Absolutely broke the mould after her. Her opinions on dinosaurs and space are as funny as they are frustrating……the questions she thinks of are as though someone has made a new brain prototype as I honestly don’t think the things she ponders have ever crossed another person’s mind!!! I’ve got to get her into vlogging her little ideas as I really have to share this with the world!!
Along with all her quirks though and her funniness and basic all round entertainment value there is so much more to her . 

She’s great to rant at , she’ll listen and then do anything she can to help 

She’s the fun auntie everyone has funny stories about.

She’s an amazing mum. 

A really amazing mum.

They’ve had a really rough time over there recently and I hate not being close enough to help out. She’s there though , getting on with it . Parenting the shit out of life and managing to be in 10 places at once (obviously not literally I’ve not managed to clone her yet – I’ll share her when I do!) I couldn’t be prouder of her ability to deal with 10 tonnes of crap and still finding time to tag me in FB memes !!

Happy Birthday LouLou , I love you!…… now PLEASE come to see Wicked with me???

Xxxxx

What’s your favourite thing about your siblings??

Burnished Chaos

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman – a rant

Its been quite the week for female rants in our house . Quite a collaboration too , all 3 of us females here have each had a whinge about one thing or another .

Share you say ? Unburden yourselves ?

Dont mind if we do….

Earlier in the week teen girl came home with a touch of the outrage about her. This is nothing unusual but this time she had something pretty meaty to get her teeth into. 
An initiative in school had been launched to encourage more elder girls back into sport and exercise . Teen girl is the sporty type and was happy to have something new to try. However …this initiative Fit for Prom was a lunchtime fitness class for elder girls a brilliant idea with an awful name and message. Teen girl and her friends found the Fit for Prom message to be nothing more than a dangerous message that actually if you weren’t slender , toned and ‘fit’  then you shouldn’t really be going to prom. It gives me hope that this group of girls saw fit to take it up with the teacher.
Thankfully the girls PE teacher agreed with them wholeheartedly and said she felt uncomfortable with it too! Apparently this initiative was funded to allow school to put on these extra fitness class. They agreed to keep the funding ,drop the name and keep the class. Worryingly when researching Fit For Prom I found hundreds of articles on how to lose weight quick for Prom , how to tone up for your dress (all aimed at girls of course the boys just need to show up) 

I’m all for encouraging teen girls into sport but using the kind of body shaming that stops them participating in the first place is beneficial to no one.

So….we’ve dealt with this best we can. 

Then comes….lady Doritos….

*Sigh , tut, eye roll , bang head against wall*

If you missed it there was much talk of a new kind of dorito being launched , just for us ladies. Handbag size bags , they wouldn’t crunch loudly or leave ‘dorito dust’ on your hands . Us feminine ladies do not like crunchy crisps or licking our fingers don’t you know!!!

As you can imagine this went down a storm in our house. 

Me : Bloody patriarchy trying to literally silence us.

Teen Girl : Well I’ll just get crunchy ones and crunch triply loud.

Small girl : Licking your fingers is the BEST bit!!!

We don’t want lady Doritos here!

It transpired that these were not going to become a thing , everyone involved denied all knowledge and it was all a big misunderstanding (of course) I’ve read maybe it was a publicity stunt ,get us girls talking about Doritos. I’ll not be getting them again.

Sigh…..let’s see what this week brings in the way of female rants…

PS Dear Doritos,

If you really want to improve your product I’ve a few suggestions:

a) Make it so your razor sharp edges don’t dig right in your gums.

b) Add a slight curve to aid salsa dipping

c) Ditch the BBQ rib flavour

d) Don’t big yourself up with your noisy crunch. Wheat Crunchies blow you out of the water.

Thanks , a lady x


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Show yourself the love this Valentine’s…

I admit I dislike Valentine’s Day. 

However I do really like the idea of love and romance ,of thoughtfulness and little gifts and letting other people know we’re quite fond of them! 

So rather than sit like the Grinch of Valentine’s I’m going to go for “If you can’t beat them join them” school of thought this year. Let’s hijack this celebration and use for a whole lot of self love.

Here’s a few ideas of Valentine’s treats you can spoil  yourself with.

Have half an hour with a book



Have someone else cook dinner
Be that a partner , children that are old enough or the lovely chef at the local takeaway.

Have a bath , in peace 

Take a magazine , soak in bubbles alone.

Watch an old favourite movie

Probably when the kids are in bed.

Get in touch with someone who makes you smile



Practice gratitude 

Make a list of things you are grateful for today.

Buy someone a little gift , just because.

Finding the perfect little gift for someone I care about is instant happiness for me!

Organise a night out with old friends



Buy yourself something you want not need

Even if it’s just an old copy of a favourite book from the charity shop.

Tell someone how fab you think they are 

I did this recently it’s here if you want inspiration!

I know for some of you with little kids some of these ideas will sound like the stuff of fantasy. “A bath in peace ?” Is this woman batshit crazy I hear you cry! I know. I empathise. I remember. 

You may have to tweak my suggestions a little! Bloody hell I may have to tweak my suggestions a little – a 3 teen household with also a 9yr old Lush addict and I’m banking on a long soak in the bath ? Maybe I am batshit crazy!

Do something nice for yourself this Valentine’s. If you’re loved up and happy then enjoy being spoilt by another grown up with likely better suggestions than mine – enjoy!!

If you’re the single type just think back to Valentine’s past and be grateful you don’t have to go through someone presenting you with the world’s most garish underwear (wrong size obvs ) and assuming this means their luck is in tonight ! 

Enjoy love week , I personally think Valentine’s should end at Primary school when the handmade cards and question marks do……although I could do a V day turnaround if handmade cards and question marks made a comeback!!! 

Take note Mr Perfect
Xxx

 


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Burnished Chaos

Valentine’s Day…. TV’s best couples

I’m a Valentine’s Day Grinch , everyone knows this . However to enter into the season of love and romance I have to concede that there are people out there in the world who make my chilly little heart melt ,who I am hugely emotionally invested in and almost….just very nearly make me believe in this love stuff!! Yep! People off the telly?

Can I share???

Amy and Rory  (Doctor Who)

Oh….talk about devotion! The boy who waited. Our boy Rory is so hopelessly in love with Amy whilst feeling that he’s not really worthy. He’s insecure of Amy and The Doctor’s relationship , believing The Doctor is way more worthy a man for Amy than he is. Except Amy does love him absolutely wholeheartedly and when it comes to the crunch chooses Rory over The Doctor. I should think so too after Rory -the last centurion-the boy who waited sat waiting for Amy for 1894 years outside the Pandorica. I have seen the Pond’s final episode dozens of time , but this last scene still has me crying my little eyes out 

Barney and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)

Oh HIMYM you teased us …. you led us right up the garden path with this one. Robin and Barney the pair of commitment phobes  , fell for one another and hard. We emotionally invested and for what?? For the scriptwriters to totally turn on this couple is what!! I loved this pairing…still not quite over it! 

Monica and Chandler Bing


Do you remember the London episode when this pair first did the deed?? We were so shocked ! (Or I certainly was!) Them attempting to keep their relationship secret was hilarious 

“Do THEY know that we know that THEY know”

The proposal is another one of my little weepfests despite having seen that episode so many times! 

Joey and Pacey

Yes I was rooting for Dawson at the off too. Honestly me mistaking the articulate,arty intelligent type for grumpy, spoilt egotists is a trait I have carried through with me waaaaayyy longer than the Dawson years!!! Even then though I could see Pacey was the better bet!!

Dr Mark Greene and Susan Lewis

Ok ok ok I know these were never a real proper couple, but my goodness they should’ve been !!! That train platform declaration was a total heart wrencher!!!

I know he ended up happy ever after with Riversong (well premature death aside!)They were just the sweetest though!

Why on earth is ER not on Netflix??

Shane and Angel

These pair??? 

Cheese fest but that’s what Australian soaps are for right! I resisted Scott and Charlene !!

The tearaway turned good -tick

Walking down the aisle after being paralysed-tick

Stunningly pretty pairing – tick

Tragic end- tick
My sister I just wanted to be Angel for a few years back then!!

So there are some of my fave TV couples,see I DO have a heart!!! My current  total fave couple at present is Randall and Beth from This is Us but I’m only 10 episodes or so in and scared of jinxing them.

Who are your favourite TV couple???

Anyone out of the ordinary??


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One Messy Mama

Things I learned from my sickbed….

We’ve been ill for weeks small girl and I.

You’ve probably heard me whinging about it all over social media. 

We’ve had this flu like bug that’s been around and it has been grim. It’s a particularly yukky bug which wipes you out , makes you feel like crap and just when you think you’re getting better…zap! Back to square one…

Anyway during this fortnight of  coughing and snot and fevers and aches and pains I believe I actually have learnt a thing or two ,ever looking for the silver linings…

YouTube is a handy nurse

Yes small girl was bored not being in school and her favourite pastime of cooking and baking was out as let’s face it who wants to eat food prepared by Slimer?!

So YouTube came into its own. She was kept quiet watching her nutty videos and even more amazing I discovered some of her youtubers voices are really soothing. I mean most of them are crazily annoying but when we’ve slouched on the sofa under a duvet as she’s watching them one or two of their voices did have me dozing off!!!

Feeding a cold just makes it more hungry

What’s the phrase feed a cold and starve a fever?? Something like that anyway. Turns out when small girl is ill , no-one tells her appetite. She ate ….and ate….and ate. You know the children’s story The Very Hungry Caterpillar? That was small girl. 

I was forcing down soup and veg and super spicy curry to try and shift the cold,but it was a real effort. Small girl was behaving as though she was on Man V Food…. and she definitely emerged victorious!!

She has a great taste in books

We read together every night at bedtime but while ill we snuggled and read together some more. We’re almost finished The Person Controller by David Baddie. It is such a great book. We read Animalcolm not long back and really loved that too! So much I have got us tickets for the theatre show for her birthday (sssshhh don’t tell) She likes a funny book with great characters and an enthralling story and it seems I do too!

Eucalyptus is our bff

Olbas oil in the bath , Vicks on our feet ,oil on the radiator. Even our next door neighbours must be breathing better!

The elder 3 are very nearly great carers

They did try to look after us ,they really did. They were on hand with water and asking how we were and teen girl was basically small girl’s hot chocolate servant. 

I’d highly recommend the teens as a nursing staff……well….as long as you don’t mind folk taking the piss out of the fact your voice has gone missing , repeating your ‘I don’t get ill ‘ boast to you and that you can cope with people hushing your coughing  and referring to you not as mum but as Wheezy,from Toy Story then it’s all fun and games!!!

Being well rocks!!

Obvious one this but nothing like being wiped out for a few weeks to make you promise yourself you’ll be so grateful when you recover!! How I’ll eat superfoods to boost this immune system of mine , I’ll probably go for a run or two – healthy body always good right??
Let’s not kid ourselves though , the perfect end of illness treat is eating all the junk you had no desire for whilst sick and lying on the sofa watching crap TV. You’ve gotta conserve your energy after all!!

I’m just hoping we’re done with bugs,coughs and colds for a little while now!! January was not fun , let’s do better February please!



Burnished Chaos


Me, Being Mummy

An evening at HOME Manchester

Poor unfortunates who have read my blog a while will know I am a huge fan of the solo date . Also that a while back I resolved to spend my child free time in a more productive way than sitting in an empty house whining about how it wasn’t the same without the kids when they were with daddy/grandparents. Best resolution I ever made and I’ve had so much fun since – remember the Edinburgh epiphany?

Anyway,last week I went on one of my little nights out for one. I went to a brand new place – HOME Manchester and had such a great time I had to tell you all about it.

Before I start I will just say , I bought all tickets etc myself. I’m telling you about this merely to share the love and recommend somewhere fab….
I’ll also say ,as I do with books I am not a reviewer….if I love a show I’m generally too giddy about it to write a balanced piece ,I just want to share!! I’m sure you can Google for proper reviews though!

Despite being a theatre loving girl who has lived in Manchester for a decade somehow or other this venue has passed me by (not a clue how!)

I’d read about the PUSH festival going on at HOME and after looking on the website saw there was a huge choice of plays and theatre shows over the past couple weeks I was spoilt for choice of what to see. The best kind of conundrum I think!

I chose two plays that were on the same night. 

The first show I saw was Narcissist in the Mirror with Rosie Fleeshman. A one woman show that was so cleverly written and directed and so utterly up my street covering aspirations and dodgy dates , questionable relationships and so much relevant subject manner I couldn’t have chosen better. 

An articulate monologue capturing self examination Rosie had the audience in the palm of her hand throughout. There was much laughter and relatable appreciation alongside intimate,vulnerable emotion . It’s a shame I caught the last night as I’d have rounded up friends and come back to show them how good it was.  I don’t know when or if it’ll be performed again but the Twitter account is here if you fancy keeping your eye out.

I had an hour between shows then so headed to the restaurant bar for a glass of wine with my book. The staff were lovely and the surroundings really cosy. I didn’t eat as I’d shovelled a load of nachos down my neck pre theatre. Having perused the menu afterwards though I’ll definitely try pre theatre dinner next time.

The second show I saw was [insert slogan here] by YESYESNONO theatre. This was a whole different show and feel. Accompanied by video and music , a simple concept of thought provoking poetic monologues interspersed with audience participation was delivered. It was unexpectedly touching and a little raw. A fantastically immersive show that you leave pondering past  memories and people. 

So you see this was a fabulous solo date!! So much so I’ve already made plans for a second visit and having looked at the spring/summer calendar I can see HOME Manchester becoming a firm favourite.



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Aaarrgghh…what is with the phone related anxiety??

I love my phone , I do!! Probably a bit too much . I wrote only last week here about how I think I could make  a few changes in my life in order to use my phone less.

My phone is my blog , it’s amazing articles fab people share on Twitter that I never would have seen otherwise. It’s chatting on Twitter about Bake Off and Strictly with folk I’ve never met but share common interests with. 

My phone is Facebook , it’s keeping connected with people who are as busy as I am and don’t always have time to catch up with personally! It’s bickering with my siblings whilst we find ourselves so unbelievably hilarious it probably should be a bit embarrassing.

My phone is my teenagers sending memes and articles they think will amuse me ,and they do. My phone is even for texts (yeah I still text! i am that old!) 

A ‘Good Morning’

A ‘How’s your day been ‘

A ‘saw this and thought of you’

A ‘good luck’

It’s a way of letting people know I’m thinking of them and that they are me too!

Do you know what my phone is not for though?

It’s certainly,absolutely not for phone calls.

No way. 

(unless it’s my sister)

I like to think on a day to day basis I am on top of many of my anxiety wobbles. On the whole I can deal with people , even strangers. I can walk into a room full of people I don’t know without feeling as though I’m going to faint or get those horrid stomach cramps or feel my face begin to go numb. It’s taken a long time to get here and I’ll fall backwards from time to time but I can do it. 

The phone though??? Making phonecalls , even answering phone calls just make me want to find a nice black hole somewhere to hide in! I can’t stand it.

It’s irrational I know that , I have never come to harm because of calling someone up but nothing strikes anxiety into my bones like the thought of having to call a stranger. 

Having to make a dentist or doctors appointment takes hours of psyching myself up . Then when I do build myself up to do it and I’m asked to repeat myself (I live away from ‘home’ and my accent can be tricky on the phone for some reason) then I’m all put in a spin and decide it’s best I never speak again.

Calling a venue to enquire after details of an event is unbearable . I will always always email if that is an option.

Seeing errors on bills has me weighing up whether it’s worth just losing the money so as I don’t have to speak to someone.

Phonecalls are my kryptonite , my Achilles heel,my weak link. 

They’re the thing that when I’m proud of how far I’ve come with my anxiety, how much better I feel ,how much progress I’ve made sniggers at me from the sidelines.

“yeah you think you’re over me ???How abouts you call up that night class you fancy doing now you’re all social then?? – loser!”

It’s really frustrating and irritating that this thing , which should be a tiny nothing is still the thing that has my tummy churning and breathing off kilter and heart racing.

Maybe I need to just bite the bullet , spend the whole day doing all the phonecalls I need to make as some kind of  anti aversion therapy. …those of us who do suffer from anxiety though are so aware that doing things that provoke anxiety are often about as easy as flying to the moon!!

I will overcome this one , as I’ve overcome so many other anxiety triggers. I just don’t know how yet is all!!


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We’re all stories in the end….

Today would have been my dad’s birthday. I’ll probably talk about him more than usual to the kids today. Tell stories of when their auntie and I were little , re-tell some of his terrible jokes.

I wrote a post here a few years back now about how my parents are fairytale like to my children. This can be a lovely thing. Over years I guess and with each telling stories are embellished,not wholly accurate details are added and stories and tales we tell about my parents probably aren’t an absolute true reflection of events.

This picture here I remember that day ,my brother and his wife had brought us Easter eggs , the one in my hand was a buttons one and I remember my mam saying how we had too much chocolate and we had to just have a bit . I remember the feel of that bloody awful sofa and itchy cardigan.

I think that’s probably the comfort of time passing ,the pain of grief lessens and chatting about people no longer here keeps their memory alive and in our thoughts.

That said , sometimes even time can play little tricks on your mind. Last week I was at the shops and I noticed some Christmas stock in the sale. It was sets of kids crockery : a plate , bowl and mug that when you stacked up made up a snowman. I had a total nostalgia flashback of a similar set I had as a kid. An immediate thought flickered into my head “I’ll have to ask my mam about that” 

Where the hell did that come from??My mum died nearly 19 years ago!!!

Maybe that’s what the story telling does? Keeps them in mind to the point odd things like that happen.
Freaked me out a little bit I can tell you.

All these thoughts of the stories we tell got me thinking.

I wonder what my children will tell about me in years to come. To their partners,their children,their grandchildren??

What memories will they share of their childhood?
Scary thought!!

I can imagine one of them trying to cajole THEIR child into their uniform for school against a protest of whinges and telling them to think themselves lucky as once their mum took them to school on inset day!

Or cooking dinner for their family recounting the time I made pie but forgot to put greaseproof paper under the baking beads resulting in a baking bead encrusted pie base….yum!!

Will our board game Friday’s get a mention??

The fact I make the best chilli known to man?!

Which days out will be remembered?

Which bits of birthday and Christmas traditions we have now will be passed on to take place in their own homes 20 years from now?

The thing is , as modern parents, there is so much pressure to be #makingmemories of us #livingourbestlife full of #preciousfamilytime and being oh so permanently #blessed . I’ve a feeling though that all our contrived memory making won’t quite pan out (annoyingly) It’ll be the little details ,the almost missed moments that are remembered and taken to heart by the little ones . The disasters and blooper reels of our family lives that are reminisced and laughed about.

There are probably events and memories that my parents would have expected to be high up in things to tell the kids about that I never have.

I barely remember any specific presents I got for Christmas (bar my Big Yellow Teapot – that was awesome!)What I do remember though is that on Christmas Day we used to pile into our parents bed and drink tea before going downstairs to open presents , my dad taking fairy steps to drive us nuts with anticipation.

I’ve no huge memories of days out but I do remember the day we all walked all the way to Hornsea (and back) my sister and I whining and wailing all the way home – I tell that story a lot! 

I don’t remember my poor mam cooking tea day in day out so much as I do my dad’s Sunday Dinner , on the table for us when we got in from our grandma’s ,eating it with the rugby on the radio in the background. 

Really I guess when we’re no longer around all we are are the stories other people tell about us . To me that feels quite powerful. 

To quote The Doctor (anywhere I can shoehorn in a Doctor Who reference the better but it’s actually apt here) 

“We’re all stories in the end .

Let’s make it a good one eh?”


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A brief whinge about January….

January, you suck.
Christmas was great – everyone knows there are no rules at Christmas. 
Chocolate for breakfast? Go ahead. 
Baileys before noon? Ah it’s Christmas!
Consuming twice your body weight in cheese ? No judgement here!

Then it begins….back to school seemed to come ridiculously early this year and all of a sudden you have to go back to normal life. Getting dressed and having to communicate with adult humans and everything! That glimpse of the sloth life you always craved was teased to you in a pj -athon festive period before being cruelly snatched right out of your grasp by the utter arse that is January! 

You’ve got to cook proper dinners again rather than just allow the children to fridge raid their way through 9 different joints of meat paired up with pasta salad and crusty bread and all the cheese! 

You’ve got to parent AND adult (often simultaneously what the hell?),its just a soul destroying time for all concerned.

When I rule the world the first two weeks of January will just be a write off. By law you’ll be required to get cosy on a sofa or bed with all the blankets and soft plush cushions and just stay that way with books and chocolate. 

It’ll be a simpler world…

On top of all the aforementioned woes there’s also the fact it’s cold and dark. There is little more torturous to my soul than having to motivate 4 children to get up and clean and ready for school whilst it’s still dark outside! Crap I can barely motivate myself – 3 teenagers and a duvet loving 9 yr old and I , my friends , am screwed.

The other annoying thing about January is the pressure to be better. Well to be fitter , to be healthier , to be thinner. Of course these are admirable being healthier in particular. No one ever resolves to be nicer though do they ? To be kinder? To be more compassionate or helpful? . No one I’ve heard anyway,maybe it’s the company I keep?

I gave up resolutions a few years back now. They just used to make me feel like a failure so I stopped. What makes me feel even more of a failure in January though is that the rest of the world is pulling on their gym kit and I can’t even find my dressing gown belt *

I don’t think my cosy book fortnight plan will likely take off when I am leader of the free world – though it’s a lot less batshit crazy than the kind of thing the current leader of the free world is coming out with so maybe worth a shot after all.

January you make me sadder , you make me colder , you make me lazier . 

I’m simply just not a fan ….so hurry up be done and let February show its face. That way I can lock horns with my nemesis and old foe Valentine’s Day…..this year I will triumph with a solo dinner date , a slushy movie and not a soft toy or garish love heart in sight!!
* small girl had used it to tie her feet to her bed in a one woman protest at not wanting to get dressed…like mother….


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Two Tiny Hands