Monthly Archives: May 2016

The Perfect Mum

We all know how to be the perfect mum don’t we?

What do you mean no?

Course you do, it’s simple.

You get pregnant at exactly the right time, with the perfect partner and whilst you’re financially stable. You give birth, naturally and with the minimum of pain relief. You obviously snap back into shape immediately and look glam at all times. You wean your child on food lovingly made from scratch, grown in your own organic veg patch. You are such a perfect mum that your toddler NEVER goes bat shit crazy in Asda over a Kinder egg and… well shall I stop there?

The myth and the fairy tale of the perfect mum is like the universe’s most elaborate practical joke. In fact the universe must be having a right giggle at us all.

‘ha ha you know that perfect mother that you’re half killing yourself striving to be?? Guess what? It’s impossible… fooled you all and you fell for it suckers!’

There are perfect moments of course. Low scale moments where you look around your tidy home, kids playing together nicely, hearty nutritious dinner in the oven and you think you’ve finally done it. You’ve cracked motherhood. You bask in the perfect mum-ness… until…

Your living room is a danger zone after the huge tub of Hama beads got knocked over and sweeping them up and binning the lot seems a better bet than getting on your hands and knees and picking up each one. The kids are screaming at one another over someone having a minute over their allotted
time on the tablet. Strange how when they say they’ll do something ‘in a minute’ it takes roughly 4 days yet when they’re counting down to their turn on the laptop /tablet /console they’re on to the exact millisecond. Oh and your lovely nutritious dinner.. didn’t get eaten because you cut the carrots into batons not slices you fool!

I say embrace the perfect moments.
I say, celebrate the tiniest of victories.

You got to school with lunches, PE kits AND homework – take a bow!

You took the kids food shopping and didn’t mutter any bad words under your breath when they all had a long and loud row about what flavour juice they liked this week – standing ovation

You haven’t JUST gotten to the bottom of every laundry basket in in the house, but it’s all ironed, folded and put away – Well you, my friend, deserve a damehood. I’m speed dialling the Queen right now.

We’ve all got our strengths. There are bits of parenting we bloody rock at (I personally read the best version of Supertato FACT!) Let’s big ourselves up on that.

The perfect mum simply doesn’t exist. Let’s face it if she did I don’t think I could be friends with her, do you?
The perfect mum is unattainable but perfect mum moments are certainly do able.
Let’s aim for those.

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Ah so I’ve some weird crushes…

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that my taste in men is a little.. Errrr.. Different.
That’s OK though, remember I told you about the psychic lady who told me that the love of my life is going to be an ‘acquired taste’ and a little ‘off the wall’. Reassuring then that this is the kind of guy I get crushy over. I like to think my odd taste in men means I’m not shallow, that it take more than a pretty face to woo me! (unless it’s Becks… in those pants.. then shallow me up I admit it I’m not wondering what he’s thinking about)
So if I tell you mine, you tell me yours? Deal?
1) George Michael

I initially wrote this post before we lost George,but I’m leaving him here. I spent many a year believing we’d get married in the end.
Not so weird, everyone loved George back in day. Even of late though when he’s crashing into photo shops I still have a tiny crush. The thing is, he’s the first boy I ever had a crush on and it’s stuck. Whenever I’ve seen him interviewed I’m intrigued and fascinated by the guy. To tell you the truth many of my crushes turn out to be on gay men (Will Young you broke my heart) but that’s OK. I’ve as much chance of getting it on with the gay celeb crushes as the straight ones (zero chance if you’re wondering)
2)Chris Evans

No. Not the film star one. The ginger one. Yep. Him.
My absolute giddiness at the return of TFI last year wasn’t solely because I love the show and couldn’t wait to share it with the kids. There was an element of that of course. There was though, the matter of a 15 year long crush on the guy. It peaked throughout the Billie years as I fancy the pants off her too, but the fact they spent months hanging about in beer gardens… yeah that worked for me!
3) Peter Capaldi

Obvious Doctor Who love featuring here I also swoon (love that word, if Mr Perfect comes along and there is no physical swooning I’ll be disappointed) over David Tennant in the role too. I suppose it’s not just Capaldi himself I crush over but his incarnation of The Doctor. The mean and moody sadness, the rage, the passion… yeah does it for me. I’d happily spend my days tossing about in the TARDIS with him! I mean this weekend’s Where I stand is where I fall speech ??Just.Wow.
4) Andy Murray

I know he comes across as a bit of a grump (I’m feeling a bit of a sulky ‘artistic temperament’ theme here) I know his post match interviews aren’t the most enthralling. Well except that time he lost Wimbledon – do you remember when he CRIED! Oh be still my beating heart. Never have I wanted to scoop a person up and take them home more (for cheering up and cake hush!)
When he’s playing though, his bad loser thing, the swearing at himself, the way he gives himself little pep talks well leaves me a bit flustered if I’m honest.
I LOVE HIM (the superarse nickname is just to cover up my true love and devotion of course)
5) Simon Cowell

No it’s the not the yachts and the cash. It’s the winking OK?
I may come across as the slightly ice hearted girl who doesn’t get giddy over men but the one thing that gets me weak in the knees and blushy and giggly is a wink.
I love a winker.
Unfortunately the universe has gotten that one letter wrong on many an occasion.

Come on your turn…
Confess, you’ll feel better..

Xxxxx


My Facebook page is here

💜💜Reasons I love Facebook.. 💜💜

I know social media gets a kicking at times, and rightly so on occasion. You’re always going to get idiots. I’ve felt the wrath of Male Rights Activists (I shit you not that’s an actual thing!) on Twitter but that was by far the tiny bit of nasty in the otherwise fantastic phenomenon that is social media (I mean how did we ever pass time on the bus without it)
I absolutely adore Facebook. Here’s why :

1) It cures my homesickness
I may have left Hull 8 years ago but I still get the occasional homesickness pangs. I miss my niece and nephews , I fancy a pattie, I want to watch Look North… OK the last one not so much. Facebook is quite good here as the Hull Daily Mail will pop up on my timeline with the local news and I feel ‘in the loop’. Big occasions such as a big Hull City game or the rugby derby are great too as loads of my Facebook friends are chatting about the same thing. I like the ‘we’re all in it together’ vibe.

2)Keeping in touch
I’m a bit of a rubbish friend if truth be told. I’m awful at keeping in touch and texts and phonecalls but I promise that’s not because I don’t care. We all live such busy lives and being able to see people’s baby pics and hear of new jobs and weddings is really lovely. That I can comment on a status is really handy and though it may seem a bit lazy, when I like your pic or am writing you a message I’m saying I care, that I’m thinking of you.
I really will try to be better at the texts and phonecalls though.

3)It’s great for advice
Baby won’t sleep? Toddler won’t eat? Looking for a new dress? Book recommendation?
There’s always someone on your friends list who can help. I like that, it’s cosy.
Not long back I had a rush of anxiety and I felt so bad. I mentioned it on Facebook and my lovely friends came to the rescue with soothing words and reassurance and practical advice. You guys are the best!

4) Sibling baiting
There’s not much I enjoy more than a good Facebook bicker with my brother and sister. Unfortunately there’s something in the genes that results in a delusion that we are all bloody hilarious but it’s always good for a giggle. Usually ends with me being called a freaky geeky ginger ninja or similar but family time is family time and ssshh don’t tell them but they actually are quite funny.

5) Spying on exes
DON’T even try and tell me you’ve never done it!

6)Blog love
Since I published my little blog on Facebook everyone has been so lovely and supportive, I’m really grateful. No one has criticised my haphazard writing style or told me to hush with my ramblings and go away. It’s built my confidence and I really am going to work on my use of exclamation marks! (see? Just the one-progress)

7)Reconnecting with people
Always nice to come across someone on Facebook who for one reason or another you’ve lost touch with (see earlier bad friend statement) Sometimes people slip of the radar but you still think of them and wonder how they’re doing and thanks to Facebook you can find out.
Similarly, it’s nice when you’re ‘Facebook friends’ with people who maybe you didn’t know that we’ll but discover shared loves and experiences and new friendships develop.

On This Day
I know some people hate this. I get that. It’s always a shock when you’re bumbling along thinking you’re aging pretty well and looking quite good then a ‘7 years ago’ pic pops up, leaving you looking twice at how young you looked THEN!
It’s nice to look back and remember things you may have forgotten about though, things the kids have done, cute pics and the like.

So Facebook I do adore you. Yes you have your irritants but the majority of the time you make me smile and feel very happy that I can carry my friends and family about with me in my phone!!

An unexpected bout of grief..

My parents died over 15 years ago. Before I was a mum, before the relationship I was in became abusive (he’d moved himself in before the funeral though) , before I became an adult. So I should surely be ‘over it’ by now?
I am of course fine the majority of the time. I live my life , I constantly tell stories to my children about the grandparents they never met. Chats with my siblings about our parents usually end in giggles rather than tears.

Grief is a weird emotion though, unlike any other I think. It allows you to function after the raw all encompassing period ends. It allows you to do the most normal of everyday tasks. However it’s a little like a door left open a tiny crack, which at anytime can be shoved open with such a huge force it cracks the adjoining wall leading the whole house to fall on top of you.

Things that set off the stomach wrenching, whole body ache of missing someone happen less and less over time, in my experience. The first year is the worst. First Christmas, first birthday, and the times you hear juicy gossip and think how you can’t wait to tell… Oh you can’t, that person does not exist anymore.

People are right when they give you the ‘time is a healer’ line. As years goes on it usually takes something significant to make you feel the grief as raw as that first year. For me, having my first child was a massive one. Looking at my son, loving him so utterly and realising, for the very first time that that’s how my parents must have felt about me. That was a tough one.

Last week though, I had an unexpected hit of grief. One of those ones where it is absolutely necessary to cry loudly, produce more snot than you believed possible and do the whole curl up in a ball thing. (and don’t get me wrong I felt so much better for it)
It was all Up, the movie fault. It’s always going to make you shed a tear. That first ten minutes is a sob athon right there. The thing that caused the kick to the tummy, grief ridden blow for me though, was when my little girl turned to me and asked why was the man still talking to his wife when she was dead. Understandable question. Now as much as I tried to get the line ” because he still loves her so much” from my brain to my mouth, my trembling lip would not let it happen. It was like the opposite of being told not to laugh and giggles sneaking out. Thankfully, little girl wasn’t really looking for an answer and was soon distracted by talking dogs,  so I got to go and have a good cry, without too much bother.

I do talk to my parents a bit. It’s usually phrases such as ” so what the hell am I meant to do now? ” and ” you could’ve stuck around a little longer to help me with this ” I’m not sure I noticed I did it though, until my little girl asked the question. Maybe, thinking about it now, the correct answer would have been, ” because it’s too hard to let go forever”

I’m still not sure though why such a simple thing set me off.I don’t know what the next thing will be in years to come, which is where grief is quite powerful really. In a way it’s reassuring. That total and utter void that comes in the immediate aftermath of losing someone is gone. It does no harm at all though to be reminded from time to time that that little chink from your heart is still missing.


My Facebook page is here

Petite Pudding

I’m still not bored of Frozen.. I am Elsa!!

I should be bored of the movie Frozen. It’s on almost daily. If the movie isn’t playing, the songs are. Even when the songs aren’t on I usually wake up to them playing in my head, I find myself singing them and I don’t even mind. I’ve not gotten to the point of hiding the DVD as I did Smurfs 2 or Monsters Inc, just because I couldn’t handle watching them one more time.

I adore Frozen. Fell head over heels the first time littlest girl and I saw it at the cinema. The obvious draw was the feminist message. The distinct lack of prince sweeping in and saving the day was the best!. Combined with a story about sisters it’s going to be a winner with me! Also it’s a musical!! A fantastic musical, with really catchy, sing along able songs. Win win win. I love the sweet little snowman. The line ‘Some people are worth melting for’ still makes me sniffle (It was nothing short of a sob in the cinema). In the same way I still snigger at the ‘I want you to take me up the North Mountain’ line (grow up, I know)

I’m pretty sure though the thing I love most though is that I can identify totally with Elsa. I’m not a princess with magical icy powers of course (mores the pity). There’s a tiny chance though I do keep the majority of people at a comfortable distance , because getting close to me is generally more trouble than it’s worth.

Elsa is the more controlled, sensible big sister to her impulsive little sister… Tick! I’d probably have a word with my lil sis if she chose to marry a guy she’d only known for the length of time it took to sing a song. Though just to put it out there, I’d probably marry a guy on the spot should he hit me with a catchy duet like that as a courting ritual!!

The Ice Queen thing is something it has been pointed out to me as a character trait on more than one occasion. I’m not heartless or particularly cold I don’t think. People I love and care about I love fiercely and absolutely. I am though a bit rubbish with emotional intimacy . In fact I’m such hard work on that front it does take a certain person to persevere. (reason 7542 I’m still single!) I do worry about this particular character trait when it comes to finding Mr Right. It’s been said I give out a bit of a ‘keep your distance and under no circumstances fall for me’ vibe. Maybe I can work on that, soften the edges a little. Maybe I can recruit a gang of trolls to be my love experts?? I’m not overly concerned though. After all if Mr Right really is right it’ll all just click into place. The icy heart will thaw around the love of my life!

I’ll hope for that.

That eventually someone will tap into the emotional part of me , be patient and I’ll get to do some of the ‘love stuff’.

Until then, we’ll continue to watch Frozen. I’ll continue to covet Elsa’s dress and ice palace and be envious of the best ‘F*** you’ song ever ever!  I’ll continue to think that I’m her less princessy counterpart

Of course there’s always the possibility that Frozen combined with  years of parenting has shrunk my brain so much, that over thinking kids movies has become the only serious thinking I do.

Yep,  pretty sure that’s it!!!


 

A Love letter To Twitter….

Dear Twitter,

I bloody love you!

I don’t think it’s too soon to say that, we’ve been seeing each other on a regular basis for 2 years now. I was a bit late to the party, but before you I had another love – Facebook. I still see Facebook now and I know you’re not going to get all jealous Twitter. You are secure enough to know where you stand with me. Past loves such as Myspace and the awfulness that was Friends Reunited, well I have nothing to do with those tossbags anymore. Some past loves are certainly better buried.

The thing I adore about you Twitter is, because I can choose who I follow here, I can surround myself with awesome people. People that, without you, I wouldn’t even know existed. You’re fab like that. You’ve introduced me to so many people. From inspirational feminists who revive my spirit to the people who love Strictly and Bake Off and I chat with about cakes and Mary and innuendo! I am a Bake Off fan. I look forward to Wednesday nights (no I don’t have a life you know THAT Twitter). Twitter is part of the Wednesday night enjoyment. Cake, Bake-Off and Twitter what a trio!

Some of the best people you’ve introduced me to Twitter are the normal women just like me. Women with normal lives, like me. Women with children who are often wondrous but sometime drive you to wine before 7pm .I adore these women. Some of them write about their stories to share with us. Maybe it’s the Nosy Parker in me that loves reading blogs so much. Maybe it’s the needy part of me who loves reading something and feeling reassured that ‘it’s not just me’.

Talking of needy, that’s another reason I heart you, and hard. You’re always there. Can’t sleep you’re there , feeling lonely and fed up because the kids are away and the best date I have is a bottle of Merlot and a tub of ice cream- you are there!! Loads of you are even doing the exact same thing.

You educate me too, and this is something I insist upon from a lover! I read articles I’d never have discovered because brilliant people point them out! There are so many cool, inspirational, like –minded, funny, smart people in the world and I would never get around to meeting all of them. So you collect them all and put them in my phone! You’re soooo clever (clever is hot to me!)

Sure, occasionally you let me down. I’ll see notifications and think yay!! Twitter loves me back! Then be disappointed to have received spam messages I don’t understand. Even worse, and this is harder to forgive Twitter, I’ll receive lewd messages or offers by men offering to show me the contents of their pants .I’m fine for penis thanks!!

Dick pics aside though- you rock!!

I bloody love you!!

♥♥S.W.A.L.K♥♥

♥♥I.D.S.T♥♥

#Blogtober – Day 5 -Education- We did it!!!

*I originally wrote this last year for the start of GCSE’s*

So here we are.

GCSEs have begun.

I wanted to write this before the exams because though of course results matter, I wanted to focus more on our journey here.

I’m feeling really emotional that exam season has arrived. I keep thinking back to that tiny, just turned four year old starting school.

My August baby.

Me being pushy mum extraordinaire was panicky about him being the youngest in his class. Reading boot camp commenced to ensure he could read before he started (I know, I know I just can’t help myself and as he’s become a 15 yr old bookworm I console myself that I didn’t inflict any lasting trauma)

It all just feels a bit much and I’m a bit weepy at the thought of the end of school. Aside from my recent ‘getting in touch with my emotions’ of late I think there’s a huge sense of relief.

The thing is I do and likely always will carry a guilt around with me about the abusive relationship, particularly when it involves my eldest.

His early life was spent in that environment and as much as I tried to shield and hide him from what was happening, I’m not so naive as to think he wasn’t affected.

He was affected, and there’s guilt I’ll always carry about that. Guilt he was ever exposed to that, guilt I was unable to leave sooner.

I no longer blame myself and the guilt has lessened and been made more sense of particularly after doing The Freedom Programme as I’ve spoken about before. I wrote about that here. A haunting of guilt remains though.

For a while after I left I questioned my decision. I know though, and have for a very long while now, I absolutely did the right thing and now here we are.

I can look my 15 year old, who was just 8 when we ran here, in the eye now. His life (and his siblings) has been transformed by that decision. There are no doubts possible that it was for the better.

I talk often about how eldest boy was the boy who taught me to be mum. The boy who has been my parenting guinea pig.

We got here.
We got to end of school.
We got from anxious little boy to laid back, calm teenager.
It’s a relief. It’s a comfort that I did the right thing that day.

We got here – my amazing, talented first born has gotten to GCSE time without my haphazard parenting causing him any long lasting damage.

We got here – despite me being the sole parental influence… and he’s fine, better than fine, he’s a delight.

We got here – despite me spending the last 15 years looking over my shoulder waiting for someone to realise that I am totally winging this parenting lark. That I’ve not a clue what I am doing.

We got here – together, him and I and his future looks so bright.

Not bad for a couple of amateurs.

 

 

My Facebook page is Here

#Blogtober17

 

 

 

 

Every other woman manages…

This is a line that has been trotted out to me a lot over the years.

By a man..

I shouldn’t talk about finding parenting hard work. Every other woman manages.

I shouldn’t mention how exhausted I am some days. Every other woman manages.

Shouldn’t moan that it all overwhelms me at times. Every other woman manages.

It’s been repeated to me so often through the years that half the time I do it to myself. Every struggle I come up against, I tell myself I’m not allowed to moan because every other woman manages.

It’s bullshit.

I know that.

The beginning of the the year started on a low. Not ideal because EVERYONE knows you’re meant to be better in January. I had a crisis of parenting confidence, I was filled with self doubt and in a right old strop with myself about how much of a rubbish mum I was . I should stop blogging too, certainly. I mean how could such an awful mother comment on parenting.

Then I realised.

Every parenting blog I love is written by mums who occasionally get it wrong or find it tough. The ones who don’t claim motherhood to be one long skip in the sunshine. That it’s hard work and full of self doubt.

I’ve always said my parenting style is one of “making it up as I go along” It works for us the vast majority of the time. I have four content, happy, bright, polite, quirky kids. They’re mostly clean (the teens can be a bit hit and miss). Well fed with nutritious food (though we did have pizza last night ) They’re good, kind people (except to each other on occasion)

So that’s OK isn’t it?

Why on earth should I hush about the hard bits?
More to the point why should I be letting a man hush me about my experience of motherhood?

Motherhood is hard.

From growing tiny humans in your actual body, to getting them out, to keeping them warm and fed and safe. Through school runs and parties and teenagers. It’s all really, really hard.

Every other woman manages?
Yes they do.
We absolutely deserve our spaces to talk about the days we don’t manage so easily, to talk about our struggles though. To find support and encouragement and empathy.

Someone a bit wiser than me told me during my brief flirtation with a meltdown this week “show me a parent who’s never made a mistake and I’ll show you a liar”
Very true words.

You know something else too. When parenting is a nice place there can often be an ‘all in it together vibe’. You can confess a mistake (that in all likelihood you’ve blown out of proportion) and some fine soul will tell you a worse one they’ve made.Let’s face it, the ex PM of our country once left his kid in the pub. I have NEVER done that!!

So here’s to talking about the tough bits. Here’s to the mum confessional. Here’s to non judgemental spaces . Here’s to knowing that actually behind the social media supermum act we all try to convey ( if it’s not even a tiny bit of front then well done to you…I’ll raise my post witching hour glass of wine to you)  some days aren’t fun and that’s ok because some days really are. Let’s face it , if we all told the truth about motherhood and family life on social media it’d be a pretty whingy place. I love seeing all your happy family photo’s and being able to share peoples good news.

On the shit days though , if you want to offload that today’s been a bit tricky…I don’t mind! I’ll not judge. Maybe we should have a special offload Facebook page…just as a time out from the happy family stuff!

Having children really is a blessing , but even the most precious blessings drive you nuts some days.


My Facebook page is here

Me, Being Mummy


The Pramshed




My mental health and I


My mental health and wellbeing ,though fragile at times is on the whole pretty predictable. I suffer with anxiety. Recently (touch wood!!) there have been no huge flare ups. None of the chest crushing , struggling to breath. None of the panicky over thinking about all the terrible things that are going to happen. It’s just there , by my side. Gives me a little nudge from time to time to remind me its still there, but on the whole we put up with one another and get along.

At present though another one of my mental health struggles has reared it’s ugly head. I’m suffering a period of low mood. Do you know how you can tell?? Because my hair and make up are immaculate. I do that. The worse I feel on the inside the more I overcompensate on the outside.That way no one will suspect will they? No one will realise that underneath it’s all a bit shit right now. Unfortunately the people I have to deal with regularly won’t understand. I can call my sister and immediately feel brighter.Chit chat is a great distraction and  talking to her will always make me smile. Chatting to my sister is like a cosy comfort blanket.The people I have to physically see though . The people I’d like to be able to ask to do the school run for me because I don’t want to see anyone today. They’d not understand. I know what they’d say
“Pull yourself together”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself”
“Oh you’re just dwelling”

So I pretend.
Of course anyone who’s ever suffered a mental health blip knows that I could no more snap out of it than I could sprout wings and fly to the moon. I’ve tried. I’ve ended each crappy day telling myself tomorrow is a brand new day. Tomorrow I might feel better, back to ‘normal’.

I’m waking up still feeling the same though just now. I’m feeling that I just want to pull the duvet over my head and hibernate for a few days until I feel better. That’s what I do have going for me you see?? My mental health can be a fragile thing as I’ve said but it is predictable. I know this feeling won’t last forever. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’m lucky in that respect.

Today I feel useless and that I drain everyone I come into contact with. That I’m not worth anyone’s time. Today I feel a bit worthless and that I’m a big bother to everyone.Today I feel that there’s nothing I can do right and the kids are unlucky to be stuck with me.I feel that I shouldn’t even be talking about how I feel low when other people have it so much worse than I do,people with chronic illness whose life day in day out is a  huge struggle and here I am whinging that I’m feeling down. 

I do know I won’t feel like this forever though.

.Just writing this has eased things a little. I’m not good at vocalising  my feelings but writing them down , thought dumping via keyboard I can manage.

I know I’ll feel better soon.For today though , can I just be duvet girl??

If anyone’s around for chocolate and hair stroking though- there’s plenty enough room!

The good things about being single in the summer…

Now I know I wrote about how I think I could maybe possibly deal with a bit of  summer romance , you can read that just here.

However should I more likely find myself a summer singleton that’s ok. It has it’s advantages- it does honestly. Let me try to sell it to you.

1) No extra sweaty bodies in your bed

I don’t know about you but when it’s a really hot night , I can only just about put up with my own hot sweaty body in my bed. I definitely do not want another, especially if they are a  cuddler…yuk!

 

2)Solo sun time is fun!!

It is!!! OK I grant you , sat picnicking alone would make you look like you’ve never quite grown out of the imaginary friend stage. Spending the afternoon in a beer garden on your lonesome may get you  few odd looks. However sitting in the sunshine somewhere pretty with a good book is one of life’s little pleasures.If you really want a treat pack a gin in a tin too! I won’t judge

 

3)You don’t have to ‘make an effort’ if you don’t want

When you’re seeing someone you kinda feel obliged to look nice. Summertime though for me I don’t really want to be worrying about doing my hair or wearing make up. I want to tie my hair back ,leave my increasingly freckly face bare and off I go not having to worry about giving someone a fright.

 

4)You don’t have to join in someone else’s social life

Summer is barbeque season. Nothing better than the epic combo of beer , burger and great company in the sun. If you’re all loved up that’s going to feel even better I’m sure. The only problem is , as part of a couple you have to do all this stuff with your other half’s friends and family too. Their friends might be a bunch of knobs. You know where you stand with your own.

 

5)Ice lollies

You know when you really , really fancy someone and your gaze falls over them often as you marvel at their beauty? Well I’m telling you now even Becks himself , king of sex would put you off slurping on a twister ( NOT a euphemism) Ice lollies are the work of the devil himself – when other people are eating them I mean. I’m quite fond of a mini milk myself (STILL not a euphemism) The slurping , the sucking , the dribbling …urgh. Enough to destroy any budding relationship. Also a little glimpse into why I am still single!

 

Summer singledom isn’t so bad. As a silver lining finding kind of girl I’m going to embrace it. Spending summer with people I actually like, sleeping alone and being able to dribble ice lolly down my cleavage all I like!

Course if the Mr Perfect Summer Boyfriend rocks up, don’t hold me to these words! Well except the ice lolly one *shudder*

 

Rhyming with Wine