Monthly Archives: December 2016

The highs and lows of festive singledom .. 

Christmas is a couply time .There is no getting away from it.It’s rammed down our throats in advertisments from October! Couples strolling hand in hand in the snow in matching knitwear.Then post Christmas ..we have show off present period.Everyone showing off all the lovely presents their other half have gotten them!!I’m not totally jealous by the whole thing,well a tiny bit….maybe!!

I’ve been part of a couple at Christmas and it was never a shiny happy smiley time, all thoughtful gifts and kissing under the mistletoe. So rather than weeping into the mulled wine, I thought I’d weigh up the ups and downs!

 

Low: No thoughtful gift from someone who adores you and knows you really well

High:No need to fake joy over a gift voucher ..or similar thoughtless gift!

I love gift buying and gift wrapping and all that goes with it at Christmas, nothing makes me happier than finding something I know someone will love. I’m not an easy person to ‘get’ though so when I receive a gift that makes me feel like that person knows me well it makes me giddy!!
 

Low: No sentimental Christmas card, with a loving message and gorgeously thought through words.

High: I don’t have to take huge offense when he writes out a card in front of me out of a pack that he’s just written one to Great Aunt Dot out of! It’s probably signed ‘from  Steve’

I’ve a bit of a thing for cards! Would rather have a nice card than a gift anytime! I do still send Christmas cards (I know I’m so old fashioned! What a loser!)

 

Low: Having to do Christmas couply activities alone !

High: I can sometimes persuade the children to accompany me!!

Christmas Markets, particularly the Manchester one are romantic (In my head).You see the couples giggling over a mulled wine and walking hand in hand with their hot chocolates. Me, I drag the 9 year old along and she’s fabulous company. I only feel a tiny bit jealous of the ones sneaking a snog!!!

 

Low: Once the little ones are in bed I find myself sat in alone over the Christmas period.

High: Once the little people are in bed I can put on my Pjs , get under a duvet with a bottle of wine, copious Christmas chocolates and put on The Holiday…again!

I suppose if I were in a relationship I could allow someone under the duvet to share the wine and chocolate!!That could work.Just as long as they didn’t try to ditch The Holiday for  a boy movie

 

Low: I spend a week alone when the little people go to grandmas

High: I have a week to finish the Christmas chocolate , watch rubbish TV and get to go home to visit my sister

I get so sulky when the little people leave me just after Christmas to go to another one at Grandmas over New Year. That’s precisely the time I do dwell about not being in a relationship. However I usually do squeeze in a visit home to my sister and niece and nephews during this period and I’m a big believer in home being where the heart is! 

Low: Our Christmases are relatively low key. Just the children and I

High: You don’t have to put up with other people’s annoying relatives. 

You know the type judgemental Aunt Mary, racist uncle Bob, inappropriate cousin Mike and you can’t even get drunk to take the edge off as you have to try and make a good impression!! 

I think all in all I’m quite content as I am just me! I’m super aware though that this is because my previous relationships have been so dire I do romanticise how the next one is going to be!! Maybe next Christmas should Mr Right , his thoughtful cards and gifts and his love of the Christmas Market have swept in it will be a whole other story!!

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Top Ten things about school Christmas concerts… 

1) The sheer excitement

The kids are so giddy that they’ve been let out of their classrooms, the announcement that Frosty the Snowman is the next song getting cheers I’d not heard since telling my sister it’s ok to drink at breakfast time on Christmas Day.

2) The naughty kids

The ones having a laugh, jabbing people and chatting when the teacher has already put his finger to his lips. Usually prompting a TA to crawl over to them telling them they’re spoiling it for everyone else. For the record kid, you’re not spoiling it for me, I’m having fun.

3) Fake festive teachers

Yes you are wearing a santa hat or a Christmas  jumper. Yes you’re smiling and pretending to be jolly, but if anyone dare uncross their legs you are on it like a ninja. Christmas or no Christmas.

4) Terrible singing 

Why do kids do that that thing of shouty singing? . Hate to be all Simon Cowell about it, but you can pull off shouting through 12 days of Christmas THREE FRENCH HENS!!! Sounding like a football chant. Doesn’t work to bellow Away in a Manger. All about the song choice kids, all about the song choice.

5) Alternative Christmas plays

If your school ditches the Nativity and goes rogue your child could be ANYTHING my child was once a garden gnome!, in her first school play eldest girl was a piece of tinsel. This involved just standing by a tree silent and still for 20 minutes. 

6) Wrong words. 

Always the child singing that bit louder than the others getting words so wrong but so enjoying themselves. I want that child to come to my house and sing carols wrongly, yet enthusiastically whilst we eat our Christmas dinner. Unless it’s people singing ‘Good tidings we bring to you and your KING?? In We Wish you a Merry Christmas.. That just grates!!

7) The thank you speeches.

 You know where the headteacher thanks all the parents for the lovely Christmas gifts. You’re either feeling terribly guilty at this point as you forgot or very smug as you were sure she was looking directly at you as she said it as yours was totally the best present. Walking past the staff room this morning I have to say I’d be giving a thank you speech too if I’d managed to accumulate that much wine and chocolate!!

8) Candles. 

Always a risky combo candles and kids and don’t the teachers know it. Everyone is edgy, breathing a huge sigh of relief at the end when they’re blown out. I get a feeling the caretaker is just the other side of the door with the fire extinguisher secretly hoping for his big hero moment after 20 years of unblocking loos.

9) Joining in!! 

The actual joining in bit isn’t my favourite, in fact the phrase’ you too mums and dads’ is an anxiety attack trigger I am sure. My favourite bit is looking around and realising all the other parents feel just as awkward and uncomfortable with doing the actions to 6 geese a laying. Well all except one parent who’s whole heartedly embracing the singing and dancing. 

10) It’s an excuse for a therapeutic sniffle

Kids singing Away in a Manger just ends in tears every time. Their cute little faces are just too much to stand. Please don’t make the sweetest cutest one sing a solo though, that makes the therapeutic sob into ugly, snotty , crying. 

So here’s to school Christmas concerts – just no-one mention that small girl only has 2 Christmases left at Primary school or those ugly, snotty tears will be back!!

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