Category Archives: being single

If Mother’s Day makes you miserable…

Mother’s Day for me is as much as a downer as Valentines Day , and that is saying something.



I don’t have a mum. She died almost 19 years ago. Before I was really a grown up , before I was a mum myself . I haven’t had a mum for a long time and I’m no longer grief stricken in that all encompassing , consuming way that fresh bereavement brings with it. I don’t have parents , that’s been part of my life for a very long time. I don’t weep everytime I think of it or flinch from talking about them.



Mother’s Day though that always feel like a bit of a stomach punch for me . It hits hard and it hurts and it lingers . I think it’s because it is everywhere. I have had emails everyday for about 3 weeks telling me to treat mum , buy her something special. TV ads are there too telling me to spoil my mum , get her a cute personalised card , take her out for dinner. Well you know what advertisers ? I’d love to. I’d be delighted to be able to take my mam out for dinner somewhere fancy , I never ever got to do that you see. I’d only just finished my A levels when my mum died . I wish with all my might that tomorrow we could do a lovely Sunday lunch , my mam and my children , my sister and hers . I wish we could have one of those days the advertisers are shoving down our throats. I wish I could spoil her – only present I can remember getting her was a pack of dusters when I was about 7 because she’d been saying she needed new ones ( I’d like to think that my gift giving skills have improved since then)



Mother’s Day without a mum sucks , I’ve seen a few other people mention they feel the same over the past week or so on social media . I suppose it’s just because we are bombarded with what we are missing . Highlights the hole in your life.




It’s not just the lack of a mum that gives me the Mothers Day angst.



I’m a single mum too , again I have been for a long while . There is no other adult here to give me a well done or make me feel special and that’s a bit of a niggle too. The kids will ( I hope ) have made cards and small girl’s daddy will have gotten a gift for them to give me and we’ll have a lovely tea and possibly a Mothers Day disco if we’re feeling that way inclined . It just all leaves me really flat and exhausted. A total fake of a day. That in itself makes me feel guilty , surely Mother’s Day should be spent dwelling on how bloody lucky I am to have these 4 amazing nutcases in my life. Instead I’ll be feigning happiness and joy that simply is stripped away from me on Mothers Day. I know that feeling this way stems from the toxic relationship I was in when I was first a mum and for the years after. Some of you may unfortunately know that big days and events that aren’t focussed on the perpetrator in those kind of relationships can be horrific. Kids birthdays , Christmasses well they were volatile enough but Mother’s Day ???Whole other level. You may be showered with expensive gifts in front of people to have them smashed to bits when you’re alone or you could be told that you’re too much of a shit mum to get a card on Mother’s Day . You don’t deserve it .

I think this is one of my few remaining hang ups left over from those times . Maybe I’d have conquered it with setting our own traditions and taking back Mothers Day like I have so much other stuff but the thing with it is I already feel like the wind has been taken out of my sails with not having a mum and I don’t really have the energy to fight THIS added problem that kills Mother’s Day stone dead for me .



I didn’t intend to make all this about me honestly. As I say often my blog is therapeutic and getting thoughts out of my head into words on a page really helps me understand myself and my thinking better. I don’t resent other people having the worlds best day I feel obliged to say . I love seeing the happy pics on social media of mums with their feet up , having breakfast in bed . I love to see amazing mums thanked and celebrated , they bloody deserve it ! Tell me stories of your mums and how they are absolute rocks ! I don’t scroll through social media cursing those celebrating the day I promise ( possibly DO do that on Valentine’s Day)





There are many of us though, for whom Mother’s Day is painful .

There are a multitude of reasons why .

It could be that you’re not a mum when that’s all you want in the world , that must be almost unbearably hard.

Maybe you’ve lost a child , that would be a traumatic thing to deal with on a day celebrating mothers. I can offer no words of comfort there because I’m almost sure there are none.

Maybe you have an ill child , are ill yourself , have an ill mum and are dealing with just try to get through a day.

Maybe Mother’s Day triggers poor mental health , I’ve certainly been feeling as though an anxiety flare up could be on the horizon.

Maybe you are in an abusive relationship. Forcedly estranged from your mum and other family , feeling so alone and trapped . Told what a terrible mother and person you are , that you’re pathetic and useless , that your kids would be better off in care than with you. To you women let me just say this , you are outstanding , you are doing an amazing job in intolerable circumstances and you deserve to be free. You are worthy of love and of kindness , you are worthy of being supported and empowered not kept down and silenced . When the day comes that you are able to leave , all these things will find their way to you because it’s no less than you deserve.


Maybe you don’t have your children with you this mother’s day for one reason or another and there is a painful void .



I don’t have the answers on how to make this day more tolerable , bloody hell I’m here writing a blog post that is basically one long whinge.



All I can offer is that Mother’s Day is just one day . That’s my mantra . Just one day . The next day will be better , less pressured . Surround yourself with people who lessen your pain if you at all possibly can. Fill your own little world with people who make you feel better , even if that just means spending time alone. Me ? I will be having a day with these awesome individuals that make me realise that even the shittiest days can be tolerated. I’ll also be tossing about on social media as per usual so if anyone wants to chat I’ll be around . Whether that’s because you are struggling or you just want a distraction and fancy chatting about trash tv I am your girl ( The seven year switch eh??….looks to be a cracker!! How about Richard from married at first sight??….sorry I digress…)


See you on the other side!!





My Facebook page is here


Show yourself the love this Valentine’s…

I admit I dislike Valentine’s Day. 

However I do really like the idea of love and romance ,of thoughtfulness and little gifts and letting other people know we’re quite fond of them! 

So rather than sit like the Grinch of Valentine’s I’m going to go for “If you can’t beat them join them” school of thought this year. Let’s hijack this celebration and use for a whole lot of self love.

Here’s a few ideas of Valentine’s treats you can spoil  yourself with.

Have half an hour with a book

Have someone else cook dinner
Be that a partner , children that are old enough or the lovely chef at the local takeaway.

Have a bath , in peace 

Take a magazine , soak in bubbles alone.

Watch an old favourite movie

Probably when the kids are in bed.

Get in touch with someone who makes you smile

Practice gratitude 

Make a list of things you are grateful for today.

Buy someone a little gift , just because.

Finding the perfect little gift for someone I care about is instant happiness for me!

Organise a night out with old friends

Buy yourself something you want not need

Even if it’s just an old copy of a favourite book from the charity shop.

Tell someone how fab you think they are 

I did this recently it’s here if you want inspiration!

I know for some of you with little kids some of these ideas will sound like the stuff of fantasy. “A bath in peace ?” Is this woman batshit crazy I hear you cry! I know. I empathise. I remember. 

You may have to tweak my suggestions a little! Bloody hell I may have to tweak my suggestions a little – a 3 teen household with also a 9yr old Lush addict and I’m banking on a long soak in the bath ? Maybe I am batshit crazy!

Do something nice for yourself this Valentine’s. If you’re loved up and happy then enjoy being spoilt by another grown up with likely better suggestions than mine – enjoy!!

If you’re the single type just think back to Valentine’s past and be grateful you don’t have to go through someone presenting you with the world’s most garish underwear (wrong size obvs ) and assuming this means their luck is in tonight ! 

Enjoy love week , I personally think Valentine’s should end at Primary school when the handmade cards and question marks do……although I could do a V day turnaround if handmade cards and question marks made a comeback!!! 

Take note Mr Perfect


My Facebook page is here

Burnished Chaos

An evening at HOME Manchester

Poor unfortunates who have read my blog a while will know I am a huge fan of the solo date . Also that a while back I resolved to spend my child free time in a more productive way than sitting in an empty house whining about how it wasn’t the same without the kids when they were with daddy/grandparents. Best resolution I ever made and I’ve had so much fun since – remember the Edinburgh epiphany?

Anyway,last week I went on one of my little nights out for one. I went to a brand new place – HOME Manchester and had such a great time I had to tell you all about it.

Before I start I will just say , I bought all tickets etc myself. I’m telling you about this merely to share the love and recommend somewhere fab….
I’ll also say ,as I do with books I am not a reviewer….if I love a show I’m generally too giddy about it to write a balanced piece ,I just want to share!! I’m sure you can Google for proper reviews though!

Despite being a theatre loving girl who has lived in Manchester for a decade somehow or other this venue has passed me by (not a clue how!)

I’d read about the PUSH festival going on at HOME and after looking on the website saw there was a huge choice of plays and theatre shows over the past couple weeks I was spoilt for choice of what to see. The best kind of conundrum I think!

I chose two plays that were on the same night. 

The first show I saw was Narcissist in the Mirror with Rosie Fleeshman. A one woman show that was so cleverly written and directed and so utterly up my street covering aspirations and dodgy dates , questionable relationships and so much relevant subject manner I couldn’t have chosen better. 

An articulate monologue capturing self examination Rosie had the audience in the palm of her hand throughout. There was much laughter and relatable appreciation alongside intimate,vulnerable emotion . It’s a shame I caught the last night as I’d have rounded up friends and come back to show them how good it was.  I don’t know when or if it’ll be performed again but the Twitter account is here if you fancy keeping your eye out.

I had an hour between shows then so headed to the restaurant bar for a glass of wine with my book. The staff were lovely and the surroundings really cosy. I didn’t eat as I’d shovelled a load of nachos down my neck pre theatre. Having perused the menu afterwards though I’ll definitely try pre theatre dinner next time.

The second show I saw was [insert slogan here] by YESYESNONO theatre. This was a whole different show and feel. Accompanied by video and music , a simple concept of thought provoking poetic monologues interspersed with audience participation was delivered. It was unexpectedly touching and a little raw. A fantastically immersive show that you leave pondering past  memories and people. 

So you see this was a fabulous solo date!! So much so I’ve already made plans for a second visit and having looked at the spring/summer calendar I can see HOME Manchester becoming a firm favourite.

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          Mummy in a Tutu



Date me! : I’m a chronic overthinker … 

Really, you’d have to be as nuts as I am to date me. My anxiety disorder often manifests itself in over thinking . I can work myself up into a frenzy about situations that are never going to happen. I can decide what OTHER people are thinking about me and make that fact in my mind. I grab hold of one comment someone has made and obsess over it relentlessly, make the highest  mountain of the tiniest molehill and it always ends with me being in a panic.

So I can either drive myself even more nuts worrying about it or I can laugh at how ridiculous I am at times.

I choose the latter.

It has become apparent that dating is the ideal place for my anxious  over thinking to thrive. Let’s face it, in this kind of scenario EVERYONE is trying to put the best version of themselves forward. You want to be liked. That’s how it works.

Poor unfortunate souls who date me though? They’re already fighting an uphill battle.

What he’ll say : You look amazing tonight

What I’ll take from that : aaaaw he fancies me! I’m rocking this dress!. ..errrrm hang on a minute. I look amazing TONIGHT? Has he been thinking I look rubbish every other time he’s seen me? Oh my! What on earth was I wearing last time? I must burn that outfit immediately.

What he’ll say : You can choose where we eat. I’ll eat anything.

What I’ll take from that: Ah how considerate, he knows I’ve odd little food ‘quirks’ … Oh wait, he obviously thinks I’m really high maintenance. He said he’ll eat anything – the undertone being that I’m a problem, my food dislikes are the barrier to us eating somewhere nice. He’s going to think I’m too much hard work and dump me!

What he’ll say : I’ve found us a new cocktail bar to try, you’ll love it.

What I’ll take from that : He’s so cute thinking of me when I’m not there.. .. although ‘us’? ? ? Did he just use’ us’? Bloody hell stop pressurising me, stop trying to encroach on my space you’ll be trying to move in next! While we’re at it-I’ll love it? ! Sure we’ve done cocktails often. Sure I’ve always raved about how much I’ve enjoyed it. Sure he’s been lovely enough to take time to get to know my likes and dislikes. Thinking he knows what I’ll love though? Cheek of it! Slow down Mr Telepathic!

What he’ll say : You’re fantastic to be around, I’m so relaxed around you.

What I’ll take from that : Yay! Yay! Hot guy thinks I’m great… Relaxed though? Relaxed? Is he saying I’m boring? Like he’s so ‘relaxed’ he’s borderline comatose because my company is so dull?

What he’ll say : I’ve got you a surprise!

What I’ll take from that : Ooo he’s so into me he’s getting me gifts! Eeeek this is awesome! Surprise though, WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DOES IT HAVE TO BE A SURPRISE? It could be anything, what if it’s something I don’t like and I’ve gotten this whole scenario wrong thinking he really gets me to discover he really doesn’t? He knows about my anxiety, why is the word surprise even in his vocabulary?

– upon receiving lovely, thoughtful gift. .

Yes but what does it MEAN though?

*brain explodes*

I mean, I think I do quite well and manage to control the over thinking most of the time and I can certainly cover up the underlying rabidness but I’ve also come to accept this is just part of what makes me, me.
The right guy will find it endearing I’m sure.. Or learn to live with it at least. I have to! !

My Facebook page is here



The Boyfriend List

I, tongue firmly in cheek, allude to The Boyfriend List in this blog whenever I chat about my singleness or my absolute unshakeable belief that MY Mr Perfect is out there somewhere. I say ‘my’ Mr Perfect because obviously no one actually is perfect are they? I believe there’s someone out there who is perfect for me though.

During a particularly productive therapy session years and years ago I produced a list of characteristics my ideal partner would have. It became The Boyfriend List.



Now I know EXACTLY what you are thinking. You’re thinking that’s pretty demanding list for a woman in her mid 30s with a whole brood of children. I know that’s how it appears.

Let me explain.

Back when I wrote this list I was still battle weary from toxic relationships. I was also hugely aware that I was vulnerable.

The problem with being tired and wounded and damaged is this : It attracts the very men you need to be well away from.

Even back then I knew I wasn’t put off men forever. That I wasn’t sworn off relationships. It’s unusual to get to my age and never having been in love. I knew one day I wanted to give that a whirl (how on earth can I write my best selling rom com without ever even have had a sniff of the happy ever after stuff)

I was distrustful of my own judgement when I wrote the list. I also knew EVERY relationship I’ve ever been in had come about accidentally. There was never any desire or admiration or even the simple crush about them. I’d met someone, thought they were OK and fallen into a relationship .

I never want to do that again.
So despite how it looks, my list really isn’t a demand.
It’s a promise. To myself.
It’s saying don’t settle.
It’s saying I deserve someone a bit special.
It’s saying even if he never shows you’re best on your own than in a shitty relationship.
It’s saying don’t lower your standards.

Also, as was pointed out to me – (my name is Kelly and I’m the least self aware person in the world) this list isn’t unreasonable.
I’m not asking to be woken in the morning to a specially assembled dawn chorus of trained birds before having breakfast brought in bed on a golden platter followed by out of this world, mind blowing sex. To later find myself spending the day on the yacht of my boyfriend, the most handsome man to walk the earth, lounging in my diamond shoes having my every whim catered to by an adoring man.
It’s really just asking for a decent human being.
That’s not too much to ask is it?

My Facebook blog page is here

The Pramshed

One Messy Mama


Ah so I’ve some weird crushes…

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that my taste in men is a little.. Errrr.. Different.
That’s OK though, remember I told you about the psychic lady who told me that the love of my life is going to be an ‘acquired taste’ and a little ‘off the wall’. Reassuring then that this is the kind of guy I get crushy over. I like to think my odd taste in men means I’m not shallow, that it take more than a pretty face to woo me! (unless it’s Becks… in those pants.. then shallow me up I admit it I’m not wondering what he’s thinking about)
So if I tell you mine, you tell me yours? Deal?
1) George Michael

I initially wrote this post before we lost George,but I’m leaving him here. I spent many a year believing we’d get married in the end.
Not so weird, everyone loved George back in day. Even of late though when he’s crashing into photo shops I still have a tiny crush. The thing is, he’s the first boy I ever had a crush on and it’s stuck. Whenever I’ve seen him interviewed I’m intrigued and fascinated by the guy. To tell you the truth many of my crushes turn out to be  gay men (Will Young you broke my heart) but that’s OK. I’ve as much chance of getting it on with the gay celeb crushes as the straight ones (zero chance if you’re wondering)

2)Chris Evans

No. Not the film star one. The ginger one. Yep. Him.
My absolute giddiness at the return of TFI last year wasn’t solely because I love the show and couldn’t wait to share it with the kids. There was an element of that of course. There was though, the matter of a 15 year long crush on the guy. It peaked throughout the Billie years as I fancy the pants off her too, but the fact they spent months hanging about in beer gardens… yeah that worked for me!

3) Peter Capaldi

Obvious Doctor Who love featuring here I also swoon (love that word, if Mr Perfect comes along and there is no physical swooning I’ll be disappointed) over David Tennant in the role too. I suppose it’s not just Capaldi himself I crush over but his incarnation of The Doctor. The mean and moody sadness, the rage, the passion… yeah does it for me. I’d happily spend my days tossing about in the TARDIS with him! I mean the Where I stand is where I fall speech ??Just.Wow.

4) Andy Murray

I know he comes across as a bit of a grump (I’m feeling a bit of a sulky ‘artistic temperament’ theme here) I know his post match interviews aren’t the most enthralling. Well except that time he lost Wimbledon – do you remember when he CRIED! Oh be still my beating heart. Never have I wanted to scoop a person up and take them home more (for cheering up and cake hush!)
When he’s playing though, his bad loser thing, the swearing at himself, the way he gives himself little pep talks well leaves me a bit flustered if I’m honest.
I LOVE HIM (the superarse nickname is just to cover up my true love and devotion of course)

5) Simon Cowell

No it’s the not the yachts and the cash. It’s the winking OK?
I may come across as the slightly ice hearted girl who doesn’t get giddy over men but the one thing that gets me weak in the knees and blushy and giggly is a wink.
I love a winker.
Unfortunately the universe has gotten that one letter wrong on many an occasion.

Come on your turn…
Confess, you’ll feel better..


My Facebook page is here


The good things about being single in the summer…

Now I know I wrote about how I think I could maybe possibly deal with a bit of  summer romance , you can read that just here.

However should I more likely find myself a summer singleton that’s ok. It has it’s advantages- it does honestly. Let me try to sell it to you.

1) No extra sweaty bodies in your bed

I don’t know about you but when it’s a really hot night , I can only just about put up with my own hot sweaty body in my bed. I definitely do not want another, especially if they are a  cuddler…yuk!


2)Solo sun time is fun!!

It is!!! OK I grant you , sat picnicking alone would make you look like you’ve never quite grown out of the imaginary friend stage. Spending the afternoon in a beer garden on your lonesome may get you  few odd looks. However sitting in the sunshine somewhere pretty with a good book is one of life’s little pleasures.If you really want a treat pack a gin in a tin too! I won’t judge


3)You don’t have to ‘make an effort’ if you don’t want

When you’re seeing someone you kinda feel obliged to look nice. Summertime though for me I don’t really want to be worrying about doing my hair or wearing make up. I want to tie my hair back ,leave my increasingly freckly face bare and off I go not having to worry about giving someone a fright.


4)You don’t have to join in someone else’s social life

Summer is barbeque season. Nothing better than the epic combo of beer , burger and great company in the sun. If you’re all loved up that’s going to feel even better I’m sure. The only problem is , as part of a couple you have to do all this stuff with your other half’s friends and family too. Their friends might be a bunch of knobs. You know where you stand with your own.


5)Ice lollies

You know when you really , really fancy someone and your gaze falls over them often as you marvel at their beauty? Well I’m telling you now even Becks himself , king of sex would put you off slurping on a twister ( NOT a euphemism) Ice lollies are the work of the devil himself – when other people are eating them I mean. I’m quite fond of a mini milk myself (STILL not a euphemism) The slurping , the sucking , the dribbling …urgh. Enough to destroy any budding relationship. Also a little glimpse into why I am still single!


Summer singledom isn’t so bad. As a silver lining finding kind of girl I’m going to embrace it. Spending summer with people I actually like, sleeping alone and being able to dribble ice lolly down my cleavage all I like!

Course if the Mr Perfect Summer Boyfriend rocks up, don’t hold me to these words! Well except the ice lolly one *shudder*


Rhyming with Wine



The Summer boyfriend plan..

Being single suits me, I quite like it. In the main I’m a bit of a solitude loving kind of girl.

When the sun is shining though, it even manages to thaw my icy heart a little and my mind wanders to thoughts of a bit of romance. Handholding on a gorgeous summer stroll, snogging in the sunshine.

It’s all a guy in Wales fault. Can I bore you with that story?
One summer we were holidaying in Wales, my eyes wandered to a picturesque stream with the background of stunning Welsh hills. There by the stream was a picnic going on. A romantic picnic for two. This guy had gone all out. Beautiful picnic basket, lovely blanket, the perfect surroundings. The food was laid out like a feast of cooked meats and various salads. He’d baked the bread that morning with his bare hands (OK I’ve made that bit up but I bet he did. Kneaded it with love) Champagne in the ice bucket. Just perfect. Anyway it touched even me miss perma – single sceptical ice maiden. I actually thought aaaww

So the sunshine now does make me think I could do the summer romance. I’d quite like Mr super picnic himself but he seemed to be taken. I mean given my track record I’d find a guy who thought a dairylea sandwich in a car park the height of romance, but we’ll see.

So I’m leaving a gap for the summer romance although a boyfriend is JUST for the summer DEFINITELY not for life (yeah I know bit weird – I’ve intimacy issues leave me be)

I think it’s a good plan for a love – phobe like me.

My kids are away for 2 blocks of a week at a time during the hols, summer boyfriend could be like a little hobby to keep me busy.

Obviously there’d be strict parameters.
No love stuff
No wanting to be around me ALL the time.
A very strict end point, say 1st Sept? Where we can shake hands, say thanks for a lovely summer and leave it there.
Just beer gardens, picnics and bbq’s, sweetness and niceness and all that stuff

Infallible plan don’t you think?

Now, just to locate a hot, funny guy with impeccable manners and similar commitment issues… Shouldn’t be too hard..

If it doesn’t work here’s why it’s great to be single in summer , never let it be said I don’t cover all angles!

My FB page is here if you like my nonsense!


The problem with the Mr Perfect list (spoiler alert:I’m a bit weird)

Today started horribly with anxiety. So as the day has gone on and all my anxiety ridden quirks have made them self known I’ve done the only thing I really ever can now I’m coming out of the other side of it – laugh at myself and how bloody nutty I can be at times, whilst wondering what kinda guy would find my quirks endearing rather than irritating.

I have my perfect partner wishlist, I’m kind of brutal with it too.

Lovely manners
Good with kids
Non needy
Respectful to everyone
Has opinions
Likes the theatre
Respects personal space
Optimistic in the main

This isn’t an exhaustive list, just a little sample and of course if a potential Mr Perfect popped along but hated the theatre, I could possibly work with that.

It may seem demanding to even have a list but as I’ve said before I’ve always fallen into relationships with Mr ‘he’ll do’ and I don’t want that again.
After being single a while, for me anyway, I like my own company and really it’d take someone very special to turn my head to thoughts of romance and happy ever afters.

Also, and here’s where my Mr Perfect list falls a bit short. I’m well an acquired taste… I’m a bit.. well.. niche. Herein lies a potential problem. The chances of my list and some gorge, clever funny guys matching are probably relatively slim. His list would have to look a bit like this:

Fussy eater
Enjoys her own company
An absolute bloody nightmare when anxious… and also along those lines-
Hovers mostly on the right side of sane but occasionally crosses into deep periods of self loathing and self pity
Can only connect on an emotional level with a time travelling timelord.
Feminist soapboxer

You see my point??

These two lists are certainly niche and quirky.. but you know what? That’s how I like it.

Did I ever tell you about the time a psychic told me the love of my life would be quirky and a little ‘off the wall’… bodes well don’t you think?

I’m also thinking this Mr Perfect dude could probably be The Doctor (Doctor Who not the local gp, lovely though he is I’ve done the older man thing already)

Of course my ticklists may count for nothing when the love of my life rocks up, and sweeps me off my feet. I suspect life would certainly play that trick on me. That’d be OK too.

For now though I have my lists and whilst unlikely a box ticker will show up anytime soon, I’m not investing in cats just yet!


5 reasons I don’t mind being an old cat lady (and one reason I do!)

I’ve been single a long time.

There’s only about a handful of men (behave!) I am fond of.

Now, I’m in my mid 30’s, I’ve 4 children so my opportunities for dating are rare (me having the inclination to date even rarer) so sometimes I do get to thinking, what if I’m single forever? What if I become the stereotypical crazy cat lady? Yeah the thought of that doesn’t worry me so much… Here’s why being single forever would be fine:

1) I can continue with my uncompromising, egocentric (when the kids aren’t here) life. I watch my crap telly, eat my fave dinners, go to my special places. I never have to take someone else’s wishes into consideration (again only when the small ones are away obviously!)

2) I’ll never have to pretend to like someone else’s family and friends. No matter how supremely lovely your other half is, there’ll always be one family member or friend that is an absolute pain in the arse. You have to put up with them though, because when you first met them you wanted to be all positive to your partner and told them you really liked them. I can’t feel sad I don’t have to hang about with knobs!

3) My space is my space.
My bedroom, my house, my favourite places, they’re all mine. No other grown up will be invading soon. I don’t want some ball scratching, sweaty man invading my Lush scented life!

4) I don’t have to do kid – related panic.
Will the kids like him? Will he like them? (course he will they’re amazing) When do I introduce them? When can we all do activities together? I imagine even if the much anticipated Mr Perfect were to come on the scene, the kid related anxiety would cause me great stress. Crazy cat lady doesn’t have such issues.

5) If I don’t fancy making an effort I don’t feel obliged.
When the kids are away if I want to only get changed to put on fresh pj’s post bath I can. If I want to hang about with no make up on, hair scraped into a ponytail, bra-less.. I can. No one is going to see. I expect should a boyfriend make an appearance I’m going to be obliged to get dressed… or shave my legs at the very least. Though if Mr Perfect was in fact that he’d be happy to come hang out in pj’s..he’d probably even bring Nando’s.

So I know, ending up scary cat lady should be a worry to me, I do. It really isn’t though, seems like a nice way to live!

Oh the one reason I don’t want that to be my fate though?? I really don’t like cats…. Scary book lady maybe??

Disclaimer : Should Mr Wonderful find his way into my world and all the above is forgotten. Don’t judge me! That’s merely a plan B!!