I have always been a people pleaser. I like people to be happy with me. I was a goody two shoes daughter, I was good at school and as I’ve grown up I’ve never grown out of it. I’m aware of the dangers of being this way.It renders me a bit of a twat magnet, and I’ve learned to contain it a bit but as it’s always going to be there I’m embracing the positives in it.
Maybe some of my fellow people pleasers can identify with the 5 signs..
1) You like a Well Done
You wish everyone carried about their person a roll of stickers similar to what teachers have.
You liked the cuppa I made you? Well done sticker please!
You loved the birthday gift I bought you? Good Job sticker if you don’t mind!
I like reassurance I’m getting things right.
2) A text missing an ‘x’ spells doom
Same applies to single word texts now I come to think of it!
Now if you and I text often, we’re quite close, we usually exchange chatty texts then a text missing an ‘x’ will send me into a spin (yes I know that’s ridiculous) my brain will go through anything I possibly could have done to upset you or piss you off.
I know it’s nuts, I will send a rushed one word text response when I’m busy myself. It doesn’t mean I’m annoyed – well unless I am annoyed and doing it on purpose! Aaarrgh who’d have thought a ‘x’ could provoke such stress.
3) You can be infuriatingly optimistic
Us people pleasers just want everyone to be happy! So when a pal has a problem or is going through a tough time you ramp operation cheer up to the max and do all you can to convince them it’ll all be OK. I’ve been told I can put the silver lining on any situation – it was meant as a compliment but I can see how it could be irritating. When you’ve had a crap day sometimes you just need to vent. You want someone to just say ‘that’s rubbish, here’s wine’ You don’t necessarily want buoying up and motivating and promises that things will get better!
4) Your kids get the full force of the pleasing
Chances are I know my children’s likes and dislikes better than anyone. If there’s anyone in the world you want to make happy it’s going to be them. So by knowing you can make someone’s day if they come home to bolognaise or that someone is going to be over the moon if you record their favourite programme of course I’ll do it! Clearly my children are very easy to please and I adore that trait in them.
5) You get miffed at thoughtlessness
You try to go around making people’s lives that tiny bit happier just by having you around. You’d put being thoughtful as your top character trait. You shouldn’t expect everyone else to be the same though. That way lies disappointment. If you you spend numerous hours with the little one hand making a lovely Fathers day gift that you just know he’ll love, you can’t then sulk on mothers day when you receive a bunch of flowers hastily bought on the way to yours. Well you can sulk but it’s pointless! Some people have more sense than to try to please the world!
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