An evening at HOME Manchester

Poor unfortunates who have read my blog a while will know I am a huge fan of the solo date . Also that a while back I resolved to spend my child free time in a more productive way than sitting in an empty house whining about how it wasn’t the same without the kids when they were with daddy/grandparents. Best resolution I ever made and I’ve had so much fun since – remember the Edinburgh epiphany?

Anyway,last week I went on one of my little nights out for one. I went to a brand new place – HOME Manchester and had such a great time I had to tell you all about it.

Before I start I will just say , I bought all tickets etc myself. I’m telling you about this merely to share the love and recommend somewhere fab….
I’ll also say ,as I do with books I am not a reviewer….if I love a show I’m generally too giddy about it to write a balanced piece ,I just want to share!! I’m sure you can Google for proper reviews though!

Despite being a theatre loving girl who has lived in Manchester for a decade somehow or other this venue has passed me by (not a clue how!)

I’d read about the PUSH festival going on at HOME and after looking on the website saw there was a huge choice of plays and theatre shows over the past couple weeks I was spoilt for choice of what to see. The best kind of conundrum I think!

I chose two plays that were on the same night. 

The first show I saw was Narcissist in the Mirror with Rosie Fleeshman. A one woman show that was so cleverly written and directed and so utterly up my street covering aspirations and dodgy dates , questionable relationships and so much relevant subject manner I couldn’t have chosen better. 

An articulate monologue capturing self examination Rosie had the audience in the palm of her hand throughout. There was much laughter and relatable appreciation alongside intimate,vulnerable emotion . It’s a shame I caught the last night as I’d have rounded up friends and come back to show them how good it was.  I don’t know when or if it’ll be performed again but the Twitter account is here if you fancy keeping your eye out.

I had an hour between shows then so headed to the restaurant bar for a glass of wine with my book. The staff were lovely and the surroundings really cosy. I didn’t eat as I’d shovelled a load of nachos down my neck pre theatre. Having perused the menu afterwards though I’ll definitely try pre theatre dinner next time.

The second show I saw was [insert slogan here] by YESYESNONO theatre. This was a whole different show and feel. Accompanied by video and music , a simple concept of thought provoking poetic monologues interspersed with audience participation was delivered. It was unexpectedly touching and a little raw. A fantastically immersive show that you leave pondering past  memories and people. 

So you see this was a fabulous solo date!! So much so I’ve already made plans for a second visit and having looked at the spring/summer calendar I can see HOME Manchester becoming a firm favourite.

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          Mummy in a Tutu



Aaarrgghh…what is with the phone related anxiety??

I love my phone , I do!! Probably a bit too much . I wrote only last week here about how I think I could make  a few changes in my life in order to use my phone less.

My phone is my blog , it’s amazing articles fab people share on Twitter that I never would have seen otherwise. It’s chatting on Twitter about Bake Off and Strictly with folk I’ve never met but share common interests with. 

My phone is Facebook , it’s keeping connected with people who are as busy as I am and don’t always have time to catch up with personally! It’s bickering with my siblings whilst we find ourselves so unbelievably hilarious it probably should be a bit embarrassing.

My phone is my teenagers sending memes and articles they think will amuse me ,and they do. My phone is even for texts (yeah I still text! i am that old!) 

A ‘Good Morning’

A ‘How’s your day been ‘

A ‘saw this and thought of you’

A ‘good luck’

It’s a way of letting people know I’m thinking of them and that they are me too!

Do you know what my phone is not for though?

It’s certainly,absolutely not for phone calls.

No way. 

(unless it’s my sister)

I like to think on a day to day basis I am on top of many of my anxiety wobbles. On the whole I can deal with people , even strangers. I can walk into a room full of people I don’t know without feeling as though I’m going to faint or get those horrid stomach cramps or feel my face begin to go numb. It’s taken a long time to get here and I’ll fall backwards from time to time but I can do it. 

The phone though??? Making phonecalls , even answering phone calls just make me want to find a nice black hole somewhere to hide in! I can’t stand it.

It’s irrational I know that , I have never come to harm because of calling someone up but nothing strikes anxiety into my bones like the thought of having to call a stranger. 

Having to make a dentist or doctors appointment takes hours of psyching myself up . Then when I do build myself up to do it and I’m asked to repeat myself (I live away from ‘home’ and my accent can be tricky on the phone for some reason) then I’m all put in a spin and decide it’s best I never speak again.

Calling a venue to enquire after details of an event is unbearable . I will always always email if that is an option.

Seeing errors on bills has me weighing up whether it’s worth just losing the money so as I don’t have to speak to someone.

Phonecalls are my kryptonite , my Achilles heel,my weak link. 

They’re the thing that when I’m proud of how far I’ve come with my anxiety, how much better I feel ,how much progress I’ve made sniggers at me from the sidelines.

“yeah you think you’re over me ???How abouts you call up that night class you fancy doing now you’re all social then?? – loser!”

It’s really frustrating and irritating that this thing , which should be a tiny nothing is still the thing that has my tummy churning and breathing off kilter and heart racing.

Maybe I need to just bite the bullet , spend the whole day doing all the phonecalls I need to make as some kind of  anti aversion therapy. …those of us who do suffer from anxiety though are so aware that doing things that provoke anxiety are often about as easy as flying to the moon!!

I will overcome this one , as I’ve overcome so many other anxiety triggers. I just don’t know how yet is all!!

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The Pramshed

One Messy Mama


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We’re all stories in the end….

Today would have been my dad’s birthday. I’ll probably talk about him more than usual to the kids today. Tell stories of when their auntie and I were little , re-tell some of his terrible jokes.

I wrote a post here a few years back now about how my parents are fairytale like to my children. This can be a lovely thing. Over years I guess and with each telling stories are embellished,not wholly accurate details are added and stories and tales we tell about my parents probably aren’t an absolute true reflection of events.

This picture here I remember that day ,my brother and his wife had brought us Easter eggs , the one in my hand was a buttons one and I remember my mam saying how we had too much chocolate and we had to just have a bit . I remember the feel of that bloody awful sofa and itchy cardigan.

I think that’s probably the comfort of time passing ,the pain of grief lessens and chatting about people no longer here keeps their memory alive and in our thoughts.

That said , sometimes even time can play little tricks on your mind. Last week I was at the shops and I noticed some Christmas stock in the sale. It was sets of kids crockery : a plate , bowl and mug that when you stacked up made up a snowman. I had a total nostalgia flashback of a similar set I had as a kid. An immediate thought flickered into my head “I’ll have to ask my mam about that” 

Where the hell did that come from??My mum died nearly 19 years ago!!!

Maybe that’s what the story telling does? Keeps them in mind to the point odd things like that happen.
Freaked me out a little bit I can tell you.

All these thoughts of the stories we tell got me thinking.

I wonder what my children will tell about me in years to come. To their partners,their children,their grandchildren??

What memories will they share of their childhood?
Scary thought!!

I can imagine one of them trying to cajole THEIR child into their uniform for school against a protest of whinges and telling them to think themselves lucky as once their mum took them to school on inset day!

Or cooking dinner for their family recounting the time I made pie but forgot to put greaseproof paper under the baking beads resulting in a baking bead encrusted pie base….yum!!

Will our board game Friday’s get a mention??

The fact I make the best chilli known to man?!

Which days out will be remembered?

Which bits of birthday and Christmas traditions we have now will be passed on to take place in their own homes 20 years from now?

The thing is , as modern parents, there is so much pressure to be #makingmemories of us #livingourbestlife full of #preciousfamilytime and being oh so permanently #blessed . I’ve a feeling though that all our contrived memory making won’t quite pan out (annoyingly) It’ll be the little details ,the almost missed moments that are remembered and taken to heart by the little ones . The disasters and blooper reels of our family lives that are reminisced and laughed about.

There are probably events and memories that my parents would have expected to be high up in things to tell the kids about that I never have.

I barely remember any specific presents I got for Christmas (bar my Big Yellow Teapot – that was awesome!)What I do remember though is that on Christmas Day we used to pile into our parents bed and drink tea before going downstairs to open presents , my dad taking fairy steps to drive us nuts with anticipation.

I’ve no huge memories of days out but I do remember the day we all walked all the way to Hornsea (and back) my sister and I whining and wailing all the way home – I tell that story a lot! 

I don’t remember my poor mam cooking tea day in day out so much as I do my dad’s Sunday Dinner , on the table for us when we got in from our grandma’s ,eating it with the rugby on the radio in the background. 

Really I guess when we’re no longer around all we are are the stories other people tell about us . To me that feels quite powerful. 

To quote The Doctor (anywhere I can shoehorn in a Doctor Who reference the better but it’s actually apt here) 

“We’re all stories in the end .

Let’s make it a good one eh?”

My Facebook page is here

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The Pramshed

Not Just the 3 of Us

Rhyming with Wine


One Messy Mama


Mission Mindfulness


A brief whinge about January….

January, you suck.
Christmas was great – everyone knows there are no rules at Christmas. 
Chocolate for breakfast? Go ahead. 
Baileys before noon? Ah it’s Christmas!
Consuming twice your body weight in cheese ? No judgement here!

Then it begins….back to school seemed to come ridiculously early this year and all of a sudden you have to go back to normal life. Getting dressed and having to communicate with adult humans and everything! That glimpse of the sloth life you always craved was teased to you in a pj -athon festive period before being cruelly snatched right out of your grasp by the utter arse that is January! 

You’ve got to cook proper dinners again rather than just allow the children to fridge raid their way through 9 different joints of meat paired up with pasta salad and crusty bread and all the cheese! 

You’ve got to parent AND adult (often simultaneously what the hell?),its just a soul destroying time for all concerned.

When I rule the world the first two weeks of January will just be a write off. By law you’ll be required to get cosy on a sofa or bed with all the blankets and soft plush cushions and just stay that way with books and chocolate. 

It’ll be a simpler world…

On top of all the aforementioned woes there’s also the fact it’s cold and dark. There is little more torturous to my soul than having to motivate 4 children to get up and clean and ready for school whilst it’s still dark outside! Crap I can barely motivate myself – 3 teenagers and a duvet loving 9 yr old and I , my friends , am screwed.

The other annoying thing about January is the pressure to be better. Well to be fitter , to be healthier , to be thinner. Of course these are admirable being healthier in particular. No one ever resolves to be nicer though do they ? To be kinder? To be more compassionate or helpful? . No one I’ve heard anyway,maybe it’s the company I keep?

I gave up resolutions a few years back now. They just used to make me feel like a failure so I stopped. What makes me feel even more of a failure in January though is that the rest of the world is pulling on their gym kit and I can’t even find my dressing gown belt *

I don’t think my cosy book fortnight plan will likely take off when I am leader of the free world – though it’s a lot less batshit crazy than the kind of thing the current leader of the free world is coming out with so maybe worth a shot after all.

January you make me sadder , you make me colder , you make me lazier . 

I’m simply just not a fan ….so hurry up be done and let February show its face. That way I can lock horns with my nemesis and old foe Valentine’s Day…..this year I will triumph with a solo dinner date , a slushy movie and not a soft toy or garish love heart in sight!!
* small girl had used it to tie her feet to her bed in a one woman protest at not wanting to get dressed…like mother….

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Book Inspired Blog Post – It Started With A Tweet -Digital Detox

I love books , everyone who knows me knows that. So I really,really love chatting about them. I’m not a great reviewer though because if I REALLY love a book I get too giddy and want to dissect it thoroughly, the spoiler free review would evade me . I’m often inspired by books though so I thought I could include these kind of posts in the blog in 2018.

 If you follow me on social media you’ll have seen me raving about the first book I’ve read this year. It Started with a Tweet by Anna Bell.

It was the perfect post Christmas wind down book. Truly loveable characters, a bit of romance and lots of talk of the beautiful Cumbrian countryside. Works for me.

Without giving too much away ,our girl Daisy mistakenly sends a dodgy tweet and promptly loses her job. Daisy is cajoled into a digital detox by her sister who takes her to a rundown cottage in a remote village in Cumbria with no phone signal , social media or WiFi and the book tells of how she copes. 

It got me thinking about my own reliance on my phone , which is definitely quite strong. I’m someone who has to respond immediately to notifications. That ding from my phone will distract me from anything else I should be concentrating on. 

Now I’m not going to put my phone down a well (book reference) , I’m not going to swear off social media . HOWEVER I do think a mini detox would do me good. So I’ve identified ways I can use a mini digital detox for the greater good.

1) No scrolling in bed

This is an awful habit of mine.

I decide to get an early night , go to bed and read for a little while then turn out the light…..and then just check Facebook….and a little peek at Twitter….then see an article or blog post I need to read and before I know it it’s midnight. The early night is lost and I’m too alert and sleep suffers.

I’m going to try to break this habit. The articles tweets and posts will still be tin the morning!

2) Phone away whilst reading or watching TV

Whether I’m reading,catching up with Netflix or watching a film I’ve come to realise I’m never fully immersed or present in what I am doing. Only takes a bleep off the phone to distract me. 

This is not good for me. I’d like to think I’m a relatively intelligent woman with a good attention span so why can’t I just sit and watch a whole movie without distraction?

So that’s plan number 2. Phone away and on silent when watching TV or films or reading .

3) Write more letters and notes

In the book Daisy exchanges notes with Jack ,a man in the village as they have no other way to communicate. I absolutely love the thought of this! I am a letter writer , always have been. There’s just something about pretty paper , a special pen and handwriting that I adore. 

So immersed in communicating with people via a like on FB or an Instagram double tap am I that I realise right now that I  haven’t written a letter in over a year.
So number 3 – I will write a letter a week.

Obviously these are tiny little touches ,not hard changes to make but I think it’ll be interesting to see how I do! 

I will of course blog my findings , chat about it on FB , share on Twitter and Instagram as it happens …..ah come on I didn’t say I was going to totally change my ways did I ??

The #minidigitaldetox begins here…

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2017 – The year the ice queen thawed so much she almost melted!!!!

I know , I know I’ve bored everyone with my 2017 was great going on. Personally for me it was a game changer. I found myself content with who I am, comfier in my own skin and quite inspired!

I wrote a blog post  a few years back about I identified with Elsa from Frozen ( it’s here poss worth a giggle) She obviously has a better wardrobe than me though. She had her ice palace and snowy bouncer to keep people away. Me , I had a self built metaphorical wall built 10 ft high around myself with big KEEP OUT signs plastered all over it. (I apologise in advance for how much I’ll use the wall analogy but that’s just how it is in my head )

I’ve been called cold quite a bit in my life. I know I’ve demonstrated being a little unfeeling and harsh at times.In reality I was just numb and turned off feelings to get me through tough times. It was a very unhealthy coping mechanism I know now, but it worked to get me through at the time.

Last year though , that KEEP OUT wall fell, hopefully never to be seen again.

I think the reasons were threefold

1) years of therapy

2)This blog , writing about the feelings I can’t vocalise means I do at least deal with them

3) The main one : good people

I’m incredibly lucky to have my sister , you all know how she’s my most favourite human . The woman is so good at advice and she doesn’t even realise she’s given it!!! Even during the wall years there was always a little catflap open for her to get in!!!

Over the past couple years though I have had people come into my life and ever so very,very gently with their kindness and patience and consistency take down that wall brick by brick. Not in like a wrecking ball (sorry Miley) smashing it quickly and brutally but more removing each brick one by one quietly and calmly so you don’t even notice until the wall is no more (sorry I did warn about the wall)

When you’ve been emotionally abused you often ignore kindness and acts of friendship and love. As always I can only tell my story, but I find acts of love and kindness overwhelming.

I don’t trust them.

I didn’t feel worthy of them for so long,I just assumed anything positive said about me was a lie.

You see in previous toxic relationships grand gestures had been thrust upon me . Affection was bestowed so intensely then used as a weapon withdrawn completely and cruelly as punishment. I didn’t want to put myself in that vulnerable position again.

I guess this is why my sister is so vital. I know she loves me and wants the best for me without question. I trust that about her and everyone needs that.

So it’s easy to put compliments down as insincere, you can disbelieve nice words, that’s easy …. Only sometimes people enter your life who don’t just take the ice queen at face value and leave her be.

For someone who has been emotionally abused THESE people are vital , the healers. Consistency is key – you can ignore compliments and kind gestures initially but when they are consistent and as low key as you need then eventually you begin to believe them. That’s when you let people in…..(wall alert) you’ll begin to pull down that bloody wall yourself because you want those people in. It’s a truly special thing and I’m grateful to have enjoyed that in 2017.

That ice queen is gone , hopefully for good. The woman who couldn’t have stood a hug is now a cuddle fan , she’s a bit slushy on the quiet , her cold little heart beats warmly.

It can be a lot to take letting these emotions in . I’ve become a bit of a cry baby and I feel in 4D …. I’m still a learner with these emotion type things but I’m getting there and I’m enjoying it!!!






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Dear Blog…..

Dear Blog,

Just a quick note with a few promises from me to you for 2018. I know I didn’t give you the attention you deserved towards the end of the year. In fact it’s fair to say that you were totally abandoned. Sorry about that. I also know that you are a bit clumsy and haphazard,that’s my fault you see I’m a bit clumsy and haphazard myself at times.There’s no structure to when and how often I post , no scheduling,no real plan.

My blog is basically me just droning on when I feel like I have something to say. It works for me , but my little blog you deserve better. Soooo in 2018 I promise that I will……

1) I will finally go self hosted

I started the process of this LAST May. I read every blog I could find about how to do it. I researched hosts , I even signed up and paid for a service I didn’t use for 6 months… because when it came to it I totally bottled it!

Not , you see, that I think my words are as precious as diamonds I was afraid to lose or anything like that. It was more I had that “who do you think you are?!” feeling. Like by going self hosted I thought I was a ‘proper’ blogger now – not just some odd girl who can write stuff she can’t verbalise!

Anyway this year I shall do it!!!

2) I will write at least once a week

If you read much of my blog you’ll know some weeks I can bang out 3 or 4 posts yet others I recycle old one’s in quite a lazy fashion – no more.

3) I will begin the series I’ve been planning for months 

I want to write a series highlighting fab , inspirational women. Not ones that make you feel like a total underachiever though. Just ordinary women who are doing something great .

I’m really excited about this one!!!

So I’m sorry for the abandonment my little blog. I’ll be much more attentive in 2018. Now I’ve written it all down I have to stick to it right?? 
Love Kelly xxx


How to survive Christmas when it’s not ‘your turn’ with the kids

I like being a single parent.

I like that all the decisions are mine.

I like that we’re a solid little unit of 5.

I like that our family dynamic is so lovely an we all just fit.

I do not like sharing the kids time.

I especially do not like sharing the kids time over Christmas. There’s no two ways about it , it sucks. Hard.

It’s bad enough that most of the big retailers Christmas ads are full of images of that perfect family unit , I even as a content single parent feel put out that I and the kids don’t have that it’s sold to us so intensely.

Some parents Christmas’ don’t look like that. It’s not mummy and daddy looking over the children rushing downstairs to see if Santa has been before tucking in a huge dinner all together with extended family gathered for extra cheer.For some parents Christmas comes with a gut wrenching incompleteness. Some years it’s simply not your turn.

I’ve done ‘not my turn ‘ with small girl a couple of years and though I won’t this year I thought maybe I could share how you can possibly ease the awfulness even just a tiny bit.

1) Don’t feel obliged to join other people

When people find out you’ll be alone at Christmas they’ll likely invite you to join theirs (nice humans will anyway!) If you know being in someone elses Christmas will make you feel worse though , don’t do it. It’s hard to know how you’ll feel if it’s your first time.People you are close to though I am sure if you change your mind and cannot stand sitting home alone later in the day will greet you over .
Also though

2) Don’t be a misery martyr

If you do want to take up a lovely invitation from friends and family don’t say no for daft reasons such as – they’re only asking out of politeness or that you feel that you’re betraying your children in some way if you dare crack a smile without them. You sat crying into the Quality Street will benefit no one if your wishing you’d have just gone to your friends rather than take up emotional self flagellation as your new hobby.

3) Have an early (or late) Christmas Day

So Santa is a tricky one if you don’t have the kids the actual day the big guy comes but I’ve found the elves are pretty open to an email explaining the situation . They’re usually good to drop a little gift off on an alternative day , nothing so huge as to upstage Mr Claus but just something to open.

Then get your Delia on ,do your turkey ,pop on a silly paper hat and have your Christmas! I’m a silver linings kind of a girl so I’ll just say if you have ‘your’ Christmas after the 25th – half price turkeys!

4 ) Remember it’s just one day

I know this is hard. Almost impossible hard. It’s THE day ,the one everyone has been banging on about for months . Tomorrow is a new one though , as is next week and you can fill the little people’s festive period with so much fun stuff. Pantos generally go in into the New Year , festive events like Winterwonderland too go on after Christmas day itself.

5) Seek out #joinin on Twitter

Ok now this one has cheered me up out of my misery on a few festive occasions. Even on years all four children are around,once they’ve gone to bed on Christmas Day I can feel a little lonely. I’m someone who enjoys my own company all year round ,but I don’t know Christmas just seems to highlight my solo-ness. It’s probably the one time I lament the absence of another adult person on my sofa.

The amazing Sarah Millican began #joinin for anyone alone on Christmas who doesn’t want to be. She explains it better here , have a read. I can vouch for it as a perker upper though. I’ll be there on and off throughout the day as really I’m often surplus to requirements once presents are done and dinner is eaten!!!

I’m @daydreamer_mum on Twitter so should you fancy slating annoying relatives , chatting about eating your own body weight in chocolate or dissecting the Christmas Doctor Who special (especially that one) or just fancy a chat over Christmas if you’re lonely tweet me . Social media has its low points but surely over Christmas we can make it a force for good.

Nothing I can say can make Christmas without the kids any less shit. I so wish it could. Take very good care of yourself if it’s not your turn this year. Remember it’s just a few days and there’ll be a gang of cool kids on Twitter around for chat!!


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Not Just the 3 of Us


3 tips to help ease anxiety at Christmas…

Christmas can be a fabulous time of year , in fact Christmas can be the best time of year. It can also be absolutely ram packed full of stress and anxiety triggers and noise and mess and chaos and worst of all…..


Now I’ve been an anxious mess for knocking on for a decade now . Though thankfully anxiety is a rare visitor these days – in the same way you don’t see great uncle Bob all year round ’till he turns up at your front door ,half cut, on Christmas eve the same goes for anxiety for me.

I know everyone’s experiences of anxiety are different and I can only talk about mine but I have learnt a few tricks over the years to lessen it’s grip slightly over Christmas.

1) Don’t over commit
There are so many social events around Christmas time from the works night out to the catch up with the friend you mean to see all year to family get togethers. 

However saying yes (often for THE FEAR of saying no) to 3 parties a week when you know social anxiety is upon you is never going to end well. There’s little more stressful than knowing you’re going to cancel on people and then having to spend the whole day psyching yourself up enough to actually do it.

So choose the events you really want to go to and ditch the ones that you feel obliged to.

2) Give someone you trust a heads up.

Helpful if either you’re having people over for Christmas or if you’re going to someone elses where there are going to be a fair few people and you know you might at some point need a bit of a time out . That you might need to remove yourself from noise and over stimulation (and those damn people again) tell your partner or friend or aunt or mother in law. Let them know beforehand that this could be the case. 
You could even use a code phrase , you know if the rest of the family have you down as a solid individual living the shit out of life and you don’t want to blow your superhero ‘anxiety girl’ cover.

If you’re at your own house it’s possibly easier to slope off for 10 mins calm but if you’re at someone elses just have a code phrase. “I just need to make a phone call ” ( people call each other up on Christmas day , it’s passable) could mean “I am just going to sit in your spare room for a bit and get my mind together ,please leave me be”

3) Seek out the company of children

This possibly could just be me but during an anxious period children are great to be around. Yes I know my previous words about over stimulation don’t fit what I’m saying but stay with me. Just joining in with kids at Christmas can be an almighty distraction technique. I personally find it hard to worry about whether I drain everyone and noone wants me there when I’ve a small person singing me When Santa got Stuck up the Chimney or telling me all about the toy of the year Santa brought them. 
Conflict is a huge anxiety trigger for me also so I’d rather join in with a group of kids debating who the best superhero is than listen to Great Uncle Bob (yes him again ) being a racist , sexist bigot. He’s basically The Daily Mail in human form and causes you palpitations just listening to him rant.

For the record : I don’t have a Great Uncle Bob…we’ve all met this guy though right? 

I hope these tips can help even if just a little bit. Christmas can actually be a lovely time for those of us who struggle to feel cherished and worthwhile as people because most people are at their loveliest and kindest at Christmas and freer with their encouraging words (it’s probably the Bailey’s) 

I hope your Christmas is filled with as much social interaction as you can handle and that get as much physical affection as you can cope with/crave!!

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Being more kind….

It’s world kindness day.
Out of everything I hope my children grow to be , kind was always a huge one. I always thought if I could just bring good , kind , compassionate people into this messed up world than I’d have achieved something parenting wise.

I’d like to think I am kind. I certainly try , there’s always ways to improve on that though isn’t there? So I’ve been thinking of ways we can be a bit kinder in everyday life and I’ve come up with a few ideas:

Compliment people

Depending on how brave I am feeling on any given day I really like to tell people if they look nice or if something they have done is great or if I’m in awe of them.

I’m the person in the clothes shop changing room who tells you you look gorgeous in that dress and you must buy it , I’m the person in the supermarket who empathises over a toddler tantrum.

I’m really only mostly any good at this with strangers though! I struggle with telling people I know that they are amazing. I always worry I don’t sound genuine , I think that’s part of my social anxiety rearing its ugly head but I’m going to try harder.

Make people’s lives easier 

If you ask me to do you a favour I’ll try my best to , as most people do. What about the favours that go unasked though. What about the people desperate for a little help but would never ever ask . Maybe I could nip in there and save them from that. Take soup to a pal feeling under the weather . Be the listening ear on the phone to the friend who is trying to keep it light hearted but you can tell really needs to vent. Be more instinctive I guess would help with this , go with my gut feeling , if the person I attempt to help doesn’t want it then that’s cool but try at least.

Let people know you care

Especially people who you love but have fallen out of touch with , the friends that have fallen by the way side but you miss. I’m a letter writer (I know I’m like a Victorian!) it wouldn’t take any effort just to send a note or an email or a text to those people . Enough of I keep meaning to…and actually do it!

Rein in Ms judgypants 

I like to think I’m not a judgy person , let’s face it ,when you are me and your day to day life resembles a chaotic shambles you’d have a bloody cheek to judge anyone else. Sometimes you do though , I’m ashamed to admit it but I have to if I’m being honest. Just silently in my head I may contemplate strangers choices but it ends here.

Help with loneliness

I don’t mean force yourself upon people who actively choose to be alone (like me most of the time) The mum who has come to toddler group that first time though , terrified of the mummy mafia not tricky to make her a cuppa and make her feel welcome. Listen to the person who is sat next to you on the bus giving you their life story , you might be the only person they’ve spoken to all day. Get the kids to make extra Christmas decorations or cookies and take them to people who are on their own over the festive period.

In all this extra kindness though , don’t forget about yourself. It’s often ourselves we’re the least kind to , we’re the most judgy of and we don’t help enough. As the saying goes you can’t pour from an empty jug and if you’re all out of kindness towards yourself you’ll struggle to pass it on others.

Have a well-done Wispa when the kids are in bed finally , tell yourself you’re doing a great job , have half an hour with a trashy mag to recharge your batteries.

Self kindness is key!

Happy Kindness Day!!!

Do you have any kindness tips to share?