Getting older doesn’t totally suck!!!

In my 20’s I dreaded turning 30. I don’t know why , just seemed to feel as though that would be the point where youth ended . That at 30 I’d be stepping onto a conveyor belt that was just all systems go to old age. I didn’t much fancy that. I was too busy whinging about how I’d wasted my best years with shitty men.

Turns out I was wrong.

Right now, at this moment , at 37 I am more content than I’ve ever been .

A few things seem to have come together to make this the case . Is it egotistical for me to talk about them? Maybe it is , shut this down if it is , accept my apologies and there’s no hard feelings.

You still with me??? Fab?

First reason getting older is good is that parenting has changed. Having 4 children was never going to be a walk in the park. Now the elder 3 are teens though , that physical exhaustion that comes with early parenthood is gone. These kids sleep and aren’t constantly demanding your attention , time , soul… Parenting teens is a different type of hard it’s mentally and emotionally tricky . You have to learn a whole other language , the non verbal kind . You don’t worry less but that bit of ‘me time’ you get and the occasional lie in means you can worry with more energy in the bank and that’s handy!! Once the kids get to teenage age though you’ve grown into your parenting style and the self doubt that comes with early parenthood isn’t so severe.Things feel a little more relaxed these days.

Secondly , for me , is realising that I’ve changed as a person in the past few years and embracing that! I’ve gone on enough on my blog about feeling healed after the abusive relationship but that is such a major thing for me. Not all the changes I recognise in myself are so major though. A couple of years ago I wrote this about my hug hatred. I assumed hating physical affection was just a personality trait I was stuck with. As it turned out the more healed I got , the better I felt about myself , the more I relaxed and allowed people in rather than keep my icy little wall built around myself complete with KEEP OUT sign!!
As it happens I’m not cold hearted and I do like affection and even a hug or two! Might have taken me till 37 to learn this about myself but better late than never I guess!

This links into my 3rd reason getting older is great . I’m much better socially these days. Again healing after abuse takes time , it took so many years to truly believe that people don’t always think I’m an idiot and stupid and pointless. Took even longer for me to stop caring about the people who do think that. Once I did get to that point though it meant I became more relaxed in social situations.

I like people,I like talking to them I enjoy socialising. I had an epiphany in  Edinburgh over the summer along these lines. My life and my mental well-being are enriched by having good people in my life!
I’ll always be the woman who loves her own company and will happily do dinner , theatre ,cinema alone. I also though am happy doing these things in other people’s company in a way I wasn’t when I was younger. I was too busy in my ice queen ice castle .
Also though quite crucially I’ve almost mastered the art of not spending time with anyone who makes me feel negative . Now that skill took WAY too long to learn , but hey Rome was not built in a day.

Finally something that really pleases me the more I get older is having that bit more confidence in giving my opinions, in stating my view, in being braver in vocalising issues that are important to me. You poor unfortunates who read my blog know that. Feminism, the quest for equality,Domestic abuse, emotional abuse, politics… I’m willing to nail my flag to the mast about my take on these things. Younger me would have been way too afraid of upsetting people.

All in all 37 year old me is a more confident,more relaxed woman that 27 year old me could have been.  I am at my best when relaxed and not giving in to old neurosis like the hug thing. Finally I am happy with who I am , my take on the world , what I will stand for . I choose to surround myself with people who who make me feel empowered and positive and I hopefully do that in return .

37 is really quite good , bring on 40 I say!!

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Not Just the 3 of Us

JakiJellz

Me, Being Mummy

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49 thoughts on “Getting older doesn’t totally suck!!!

  1. I love this! I’m 32 tomorrow and I’m actually embracing it! My kids are still young and demanding but I’m looking forward to what the future holds. I think as we get older we do become more confident in our beliefs and our need to express them.

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  2. I’m in my 40’s and definitely feel I’ve grown more confident over the years. I think you develop an inner confidence once you have children. Having four myself too, each with their own little quirks and needs, you need to stand up for them in many situations. Yes, parenting teenagers is a whole new ball game. I’m pleased my six year old twins keep my sane 🙂 #triumphanttales

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  3. I totally agree. I miss my twenties , a lot! Mostly the opportunities I missed out on, things I didn’t do… But, I wouldn’t go back. I miss them but I am quite content at 32. Things are coming together and I’m pretty damn happy. Great post. #TriumphantTales

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  4. Kelly you know I am a huge fan of yours and what you have achieved for yourself and your family and it is lovely to hear you being so positive and confident. At 50 I am quite jealous of your 37 years – I had only just had my youngest then! You are lucky to be at this stage of your parenting and to have so many great and youthful years ahead of you. Enjoy every single moment. #TweensTeensBeyond

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  5. Yay! What a lovely, positive post. I think I still have a couple of years to go before I get to feel like this. Life is still pretty complicated, but I see contentment lurking at the end of the tunnel. So glad you feel like this 🙂

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  6. i’m heading fast towards 50, having an older husband and older friends it’s great, no one teases me about my age, they just welcome me into the club, there’s nothing i can do about it, so i just take it as it comes
    tweenteensbeyond

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  7. Yes I agree. I feel that I’ve got much more confident and perhaps know myself a little better. But then along comes the menopause and shakes some of that self-confidence which is not so great! Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

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  8. Ahhh this is lovely to read! You are such a survivor and it is brilliant to know that you are happy and confident at 37. I think we learn so much as we get older… I already know so much more at 31 than I did at 21! Life’s lessons are so important. Its all about evolving and making ourselves into the best we can be I suppose. Thank you for joining in with the Honeybee linky! See you for the next one I hope! Xx

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  9. Love this post. Getting older is about accepting who you are, feeling comfortable with yourself and you are so right in saying surrounding yourself with people that empower you and bring positivity into your life. I’m in my early 40’s and to be honest, I’m happier than ever. There is no more pressure of what the 20’s and 30’s had. I’m much wiser, I’ve been through it all and I’m embracing my age as I get older every year.#Blogcrush

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  10. This is so lovely, we always worry about getting old, but the truth is that every stage of our lives brings new and exciting revelations about ourselves and those around us. We all have to learn and grow x
    #Blogcrush

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  11. I’ve just turned 31 and I keep waiting for this inner-confidence that is supposed to hit as you get older…! But actually, I think it probably is starting to peek out a bit – I’m definitely not as much of a walkover as I used to be, but I think a lot of that is confidence I have found from blogging and meeting lovely people like you 🙂

    I am very particular about who I hug – I love hugs from a select bunch of people but most of the time I just freeze if someone tries to hug me.I love that things are falling into place for you. #blogcrush

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  12. You’re quite right…there are lots of reasons why growing older isn’t so bad. I dreaded turning 30 and was miserable as sin on my 30th birthday so when it came to turning 40 I was an absolute mess! However, it when it came it wasn’t so bad. I soon realised I was a very different person at 40 to the one I was at 30 and my life was so much better. One thing I can’t come to terms with though are the wrinkles! #ablogginggoodtime

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