Tag Archives: writing

So now where do I fit ?

Soooooo here I am , back blogging and I cannot tell you what a relief it is . Sounds a bit nuts but I need this . It’s such a huge aid to good mental health and creativity (in the loosest sense of the world )is good for well-being right?

I wrote earlier in the week about my extended break and how I came to realise the days of the parenting blog were behind me . I’m sure there’ll be the very occasional post mentioning the kids because how could there not be? If I’m writing about my life they’re going to feature but they’re no longer the focus. It’s not fair on them to share their business and to be quite frank they’re pretty low on material these days , busy working or getting an education!! Not the comedy gold they once were!

So in this big old blogging world I now have a slight identity crisis . Where do I fit ?

Can I still (virtually) hang out with the parent bloggers?? I hope so , those guys are the best . They are where are the giggles and the wine is ! I think I’m going to have to just wildly hang on to their coat tails as I simply don’t fit anywhere else.

I can’t be a lifestyle blogger ! Have you seen the state of my Instagram?? Lifestyle bloggers have pics of themselves in their huge , gorge pristine kitchens draped over their fridges like Kim K . Yesterday I posted a pen lid I found in my cleavage ! (I’m here by the way should that kind of ground breaking content float your boat) Lifestyle bloggers are groomed and have beautiful clothes . I’ve currently my hair tied up because I stupidly thought it had another day in it before it needed washing and am sporting a Harry Potter nightshirt with mismatched pj bottoms. If I did an OOTD it’d read like a jumble sale . Yeah I just wouldn’t fit in there.

Travel bloggers – maybe I could join them. I’m 40 this year and now the kids are getting older I’ve plans to have some adventures. See places I never have (I’ve seen nowhere . I went to Kos once that’s the extent of my travels) . I am going to fix that though and I do have plans . Maybe one day I can join those guys , but not yet. I don’t think the jetsetters chatting of their trips to Tibet would welcome me discussing my trip to Aldi and debating which of the two Aldis in my vicinity is the better one (it’s the smaller one , they changed everything around in the bigger one and confused me) So maybe not travel bloggers just yet.

Oooo FOOD , maybe I can be a food blogger. Write about what you know , that’s what they say eh ? I know food. Food is one of my favourite things ever. I could definitely do this . Except , I’m a bit fussy and stuck in my ways. I’m one of those annoying people who go to the same places and order the same thing every time. I’m also the holder of many food ‘quirks’ shall we say . I cannot abide sharing platters -do.not eat off the same plate as me , do not let plates with something on I don’t like touch mine and no actually nearly 40 I may be but if my meal arrives with something on the side I don’t like I cannot pick it off .Dinner is ruined , I bid you good day !!!

Yeah food is off and I can’t do a cooking or craft blog because all the cooking and crafting talent in this house comes from the kids.

I could be an interior blogger , all chalky paint and feature walls .

*Looks around the house * yeah nah let’s leave that one .

Ok well I guess I’ve never had a niche with my blog . Even though I’d say it would be predominantly parenting based I have a tendency to go off on a tangent. I get distracted easily. I’ve never been a blogger to write certain times on certain days (even though I know that’s what we’re supposed to do ) I write when an idea hits that I just need to get from my head to the screen . Sometimes it’s parenting related , sometimes feminist ,sometimes mental health and often domestic abuse.

If I have a theme at all from now it’s going to be – woman fast approaching 40 who has spent half her life child rearing and is now ready to do some of the things she missed by having children so young whilst being so grateful for her amazing little family who are all starting to stretch their wings without her .

Not a very ‘gram -able hashtag that though is it ?!!

Find me on Facebook  Twitter and Insta to see where I get to on this new journey!!

3 Little Buttons
Musings Of A Tired Mummy

 

Ah poor , neglected blog…..

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I have been a bad blogger of late !!

My posts have been sporadic and I feel like I’ve kind of lost my voice somewhere along the way. This isn’t the first time that the dreaded bloggers block has hit so I know it’ll pass but sitting and just writing seems to have become tricky for me .

I do have a lot going on at the minute. Moving house , trying to keep my mental health in a reasonable condition whilst in a stressful situations , continuing to Grab that wheel and get stuff done! Writing just seems to have taken a back seat. Which is a shame really as blogging and those amazing folk who read and comment on my blog do wonders for the old mental health so it really shouldn’t be the first thing to drop.

I’ve mentioned before how I had some blogging unpleasantness after my blog was found by someone who didn’t like me telling my story and though that hasn’t silenced me , I am a bit more cautious . I censor myself more than usual. I read too much into my own waffle and cut and edit way more aggressively than I ever had.

That has to stop.

The reason my blog is therapeutic to write is because I never have censored myself. I tell my stories , I talk about my experiences . I sit with a notebook or a keyboard , open my mind and let the words fall out. it’s the only way I can , or know how to write. So this sanitized , over thought version of my writing is never going to work for me , or you guys either really I don’t think. When I get comments it’s usually from women telling me they feel less alone for me discussing my experiences , or that they know what I’m talking about …they’ve been there too. Whether I’m discussing mental health or parenting or domestic abuse I like that my words connect with people. They’re the kind of blogs I love reading you see. One’s that touch me , make me feel , that i can identify with.

So how do I pull myself back to the girl who writes from the heart , overshares a lot and gets way more out of writing my blog when it feels free??

I’ve some ideas…

Firstly I need to actively make time for the blog. Set aside a block of time each week to look at my blog , reply to comments , join my beloved linkys , actually write . I need to then stick to that plan. I’ve always been a bit haphazard with writing and focus generally does me the world of the good.

I’m going to worry less about negative voices and focus on the positives. You want to hush me then chances are you were never someone reading my blog just because you like reading my stuff. Some of you DO like reading my stuff though , you’ve told me and everything so I’m going to focus on that.

I’m going to write about things I feel so passionate about that getting the words from brain to screen is no real hardship. They usually do , the posts that people seem to like. They’re the ones I’ve just brain dumped in 30 mins. Those posts that feel like hard work ?That feel like wading through treacle to get down? Well maybe those stories don’t need to be told after all.

So there we have it . The plan to get my blog back to how i like it . What makes it feel like mine.

A little bit waffly ,  scattered with rogue punctuation , chatty , raw , passionate , emotive.

Wish me luck!! xxx

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“Reflections

Taking the wheel….

img_20180212_135907_534-284299248.jpgDo you ever feel like you’re a passenger in your own life?

That you’re sat there somewhere in the middle of the bus with someone else firmly at the wheel steering your life from one direction to another whilst you’re just sat gazing out the window watching the scenery whizz by but making none of the decisions.

(My name is Kelly and I am over fond of a ropey analogy)

People hop on the bus , engage you in small talk , some stay longer than others . Some you unexpectedly find yourself getting quite deep and meaningful with. Then they hop off  back to their own lives .

It’s not necessarily one person driving the bus either. It’s events , circumstance , other people’s dramas.

It’s not you though , it’s never you and it doesn’t really occur to you to mind. You’ve no desire to march yourself to the front of the bus and take the wheel. In fact you’re often too busy people watching your fellow passengers to even notice this is what’s happening.

Ok I’ll stop with the bus now , but I realised recently that I am way too passive in my own life. I don’t make things happen , I’m not dynamic.

My life is spent reacting to situations I find myself in. Reacting to circumstances I find myself in .

I want that to change.

It holds me back you see . My reticence to make a decision about something I want and going out there and getting it leave me forever making plans but nothing ever coming of them.

Recently I went to a workshop about goal setting and it left me really motivated and inspired. You remember I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before 40 ? It’s just here but am I out there chasing them down like a woman on a mission?? Absolutely not . I sent some enquiries re dance classes but when I heard nothing back I left it. I’ve looked at my drafts of ‘The Book’ tweaked a few bits here and there but not really done so much work.

I’m not being down on myself here , really I’m not but this inability to go and grasp the bull by the horns irritates the hell out of me !!

I read once how character traits that you dislike in other people are because you recognise them in yourself. It’s true. I get frustrated by people who have things they are going to do ‘one day ‘but when asked what steps they are taking to get towards these goals there are none.I see myself in this kind of behaviour. I have plans , books and books and books of plans , but rarely do I make it passed step 1!!

I make excuses too (another irritant) I don’t have the time (yet I managed to squeeze in 5 episodes of Russian Doll last night) I probably shouldn’t be spending money on something as self indulgent as dance classes ( so knock your Friday bottle of wine on the head then!!) My blog is just a hobby. I don’t need to do the self hosted thing (Kelly you’ve been wittering on about it for bloody years just get it done!!)

The nonsense and excuses and procrastinating end here!

I’m taking the wheel!

This evening I will watch my trash TV once a good 500 words have been added to ‘The Book’ . It’s not many , but this everyday will add up.

Let’s go grab that wheel and steer towards productivity and see what a journey we can have !!

Just as a positive aside to disliking negative character traits you recognise in yourself , it works the other way round too. Character traits you find attractive in other people are often ones you recognise in yourself . That’s a nice thought isn’t it !!

Right , stop trying to distract me I have work to do!!!!

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Navigating Baby

 

Shank You Very Much
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