Tag Archives: winter

Call me a grump but… 

It’s beginning to feel a bit chilly. 

Am I crying for summer back? 

Lamenting the end of  picnics and pretty summery dresses? 

Not at all not one bit. 

We’ve had an odd summer. Now the elder 3 are getting older, they often have plans with their friends rather than wanting to picnic in the park with mum! Added to that small girls holidays with daddy, eldests hols with his pals and other holidays with grandma I feel as though we didn’t really get to spend that much time together really and it left me a bit flat where summer is concerned. I know this is likely how things are going to go now the kids are getting older but I’ll put this year down as a transitionary period and prepare better next year. 

So a chill is in the air and I’m not sad, I like autumn. It’s the kick start to so much good stuff! 

Comfort food 

I like a bbq  as much as the next woman but it  just doesn’t do much for my soul. 

Stew and dumplings, soups, hotpots.. These things make my heart happy! I know! I know! It’s always about the food with me! There’s a whole other kind of giddy reserved for coming in out of the dark and cold to a stew that’s been bubbling away in the slow cooker all day filling the house with yummy smells! 

Even better. . These comfort foods may carry a few more calories than your summer salad but it’s OK because.. . 

Jumpers.. and boots… 

I bloody love a jumper! ! Gone are having to show  your wobbly bits. Fluffy jumper and even the attention seeking boobs are covered up and behaving themselves! Sooo cosy too! OK we all know I’m stuck in a 90s tartan skirt /sweater combo but to mark the start of the season I may treat myself to some new thick black tights!!! Ready for… 

Hull Fair Weather

OK so to those of you not from Hull you’d probably just call this – well weather I suppose. Back in t’day though the week of Hull Fair (early October) was always when your mam would buy you new scarves and gloves. It’s cold, it’s crisp, it’s worthy of gloves but not necessarily a coat! 

I know I’m a Hull bore.. I do I promise. I know I’ve mentioned it’s our  (yes I know I don’t live there  anymore but  it’s still home! ) big City of Culture 2017 year. Should any of you find yourself in the vicinity being culture vultures around October, pay the fair a visit. It’s a spectacle! 

Cosy, dark nights in. . 

The best bit of autumn/winter to me. You’ve tummy’s full of lamb hotpot, you’re all in your pj’s on the sofa watching either Strictly or X Factor (or a movie if you’re too cool for that). No Doctor Who this autumn unfortunately. Hot chocolate on laps, curtains shut, lamps on.. 

My little family and I, cosy and snug? Yes that definitely makes an autumn night for me! 
Besides those children have to make up for their summer desertion to needy mum! ! 

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How I stuff up the autumn/winter wardrobe …

I love winter clothes, I really do. Ditching the flesh flashing dresses and kicking the sandals into touch make me happy. When the magazines start showing all the autumn/winter clothes it makes me happy. Women in gorgeous coats and beautiful boots. In my head I imagine myself dressed all cosy and pulling off the winter look strolling through the park with the kids. I never do though. No matter how hard I try I get it wrong. Every. Single. Winter.

Here’s how.

Wooly Tights
I’m a big fan of the tight. I know there was a big hoo ha a while ago about how naff black tights are but I love them. I even do the old flesh tights in summer thing. Littlest girl often asks why I’m wearing ‘skin tights’. Anyway, winter comes around. Tights ahoy, all colours and styles. I love the thick Wooly ones. Only I can’t stand to buy large. I refuse to accept that my arse is large. I’m that deluded. This results me walking about with my tight crotch down between my knees, stopping every 5 steps to hitch up the tights in a very unladylike fashion.

You never see Beyoncé doing that.

The fluffy slouchy jumper
Do you know the type I mean? All fluffy and pretty and falls down off the shoulder. It says “oooo look I’m all soft and comfy cosy, come in for a cuddle… Oh but look – exposed shoulder, how sexy! ”
Well it does if you’re a model in a magazine or significantly younger than me.
When I try this trend I look as though I struggle to dress myself. Nothing falls seductively off the shoulder, it just exposes a grey bra and when I pull it back up it falls down at the front exposing my sizable boobs!

Most unsexy look ever.

Oh how I so want to rock the knitted beany look. Prance around the Christmas Markets in my wooly hat- rosy cheeks, mulled wine in hand! You know like the glam ones on Instagram. I imagine my perfect side plait coming down looking lovely.
Unfortunately wooly hats make my considerably large forehead itch and sweat. Sweaty forehead means the imagined sweet strands of hair shaping my face just stick to my head. The rosy cheeked look becomes a purple faced, too warm look.

Not pretty.

I always want one of those long lovely coats like Kate Middleton wears. Flatteringly cut, tucking in at the waist before flaring out to cover the afore mentioned megaarse .
When I try this look I again likely go a size too small keeping up with previous delusions. So when the gorgeous coat is buttoned up it gapes between buttons, if they don’t fly off first that is and whack someone in the eye.

Then it’s too tight round the tummy and I just look like a collection of lumps and bumps. So I opt for the mum coat. 3 sizes too big, oversized hood school run proof. Nowhere near as pretty as the Kate coat but at least I can breathe.

That’s probably why I’m not married to a prince!

So as much as I love winter clothes, I just get it wrong. I’ll keep trying though…. I quite fancy a poncho this year…

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