Tag Archives: letter

Fab First born…as you turn 17

Dear J,
So you’re turning 17 and I’m not going to whinge at all that you are getting older. Simply because next year means you’ll be…oh I can’t even go there.

I think and hope you know I’m your biggest fan. So here’s 17 ways you rock at 17.

1) You’re meme king!

I like you send me funny meme’s throughout the day. Makes me feel like I’m oe of the cool kids ,even though I know I’m not.

2) You’re my Doctor Who buddy

The others may question why we watch certain episodes over and over. Not you , even better you can choose the perfect episode to suit the mood!

3) You rock dad jokes

Honestly,they are BAD!! That you find them hilarious though is endearing in itself so we’ll forgive you!

4) Our Sporting Bucket list!

I know I know….you’ve done Wembley with Hull City…hey J tell us that story again in case we missed it the first 678 times??

We’ve a few left though eh? Wimbledon, London Marathon , more Olympics??wait for me!!

5) You’ve lovely manners

Everyone comments on it ….

Actually I’m taking that one , brought up right you see!

6) You’re the best big brother ever

I know you think the dream would be to be an only child,but that’d have been such a waste. You’re great to them all (even S though she drives you nuts!)  You’re a fab role model – though you know that has to be kept up forever now right? Like me and Auntie La? No going off the rails!

7) Additionally you are small girl whisperer

No-one can talk her down from a tantrum like you. Teach me your ways….

8) When you love , you love hard

Harry Potter , snooker, The National Train Museum. Some may say obsessive. I say passionate.

9) You’re interested in the world around you

Not just physically around you either. You’ve an interest and compassion for suffering and people going through hardship and turmoil even if they’re on the other side of the world. Even if you don’t know them. You’ve empathy , a character trait many others could benefit from.

10) You’re a food weirdo (like me)

I still don’t get the lasagne thing. You love bolognaise ,yet won’t touch lasagne even without cheese sauce…which just makes it bolognaise in a different shape surely! Not that I can talk!

11) Your kids TV nostalgia is mine too!

Whatever DID happen to Milo ,Jake ,Bella and Fizz eh? 

Did the Rubberdubba’s EVER get a peaceful bath?

What the hell was The Shiny Show all about??

And yes ,the guy from Raven scared the life out of me too!

12) You’re easy bribed

Entertain small girl , go to the shops , most jobs are do able for the fee of a packet of fizzy fangs!!!

13) Watching you round others makes me proud

You’re chatty and friendly and warm and can usually find common ground with most people. This could turn out to be your most valuable life skill! I like how warm and caring you are with your friends and how you seem to just be a natural with people! I wasn’t when I was your age and really aren’t that much better now.

14) Your opinions give me hope

You’re open-minded , you’re tolerant and you actively want to change things for the better. As do your friends. When the world is an unstable as it is knowing you all are active in your plans to make a difference well it makes me despair that bit less.

15) You don’t think you’re too old or cool to play showtune karaoke with us.

FYI You will NEVER be too old or cool to play showtune karaoke!

16) You’re thoughtful

You have small girl and I’s PJs on the radiator after a rainy school run. You pick out movies or documentaries you think I might like. You take your brother to football matches if his mates arent going. It’s nice to see!

17) You make parenting easy.

Other than that wretched colic at the start ,which drove the pair of us into thinking I wasn’t cut out for this job. You’ve made being a mum pretty painless.

No drama , no trouble,no horrid teenagey strops or awful behaviour (don’t worry I know you’ve still a few teen years left yet and could turn at any minute, I’m not complacent I promise)

I say this often but that’s because it’s true. Being your mum is an absolute delight. I’ve no idea where it all went right with my haphazard parenting style and you being my guinea pig in the world of mum- hood,but it seems to have and I could not be prouder to have you call me mum.
PS….You sure you’re insistent on going AWAY to uni??? …

Love mum xxx 

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Rhyming with Wine


A note to my children’s, soon to be, step mum


K here 

You probably know me better as the ‘psycho ex’, the ‘bitch from hell’, the woman who took the love of your lives children away, the ‘crazy, lying, heartless slag’ and many other variations on the theme. 

You’ll have heard all the tales about me. You must be so relieved that your future husband has a normal, decent woman in his life after all he’s been through. 

I’m lucky enough to be privy to the official story my ex tells about me. The girlfriend after me told me it when she reached out to me feeling that things didn’t quite add up. 
It’s a really good story. Plausible. I understand why it’s believed without question. To people in his new life anyway. I still can’t get my head around why the people who actually knew me would believe it or help him perpetuate it but to be honest I’ve given that way more head space than it ever deserved over the years, it’s getting no more. 

I’m not going to sit here and tell you my story. I am fully aware what a waste of both our times that would be. 

I do just want to tell you a couple of things though. Firstly, the kids are big fans of yours. They honestly think you’re great. I believe you coming onto the scene has been a catalyst in their dad deciding to see them again from time to time. I thank you for that – I won’t pretend I’M happy he’s around but the kids deserve to feel as though they have two parents. 

They’re fantastic kids, as you know and now as older astute teenagers it’s down to them to make up their own minds in any given situation. They’ve all at one point or another wondered out loud what you see in their dad but yes they’re fond of you. 

I just hope that the things they like about you are never stamped out. 

I’m told you’re funny and chatty and I hope you never become the woman too scared to talk, afraid of the consequences. 

I’m told you’re lively and happy and I hope that’s never snatched away-that you’re never left with such low self esteem you’re filled with nothing but self loathing. 

The kids say you got a bit tipsy new year and had a fun singalong. I hope you’re never accused of being an alcoholic, a disgrace, an embarrassment. 

Secondly, know you’re in my thoughts often. I worry about you, hopefully needlessly. 
I’m a little  reassured by how close you are to your family and I’m never going to say people can’t change but forgive my scepticism on this one. 

Just know, should anything ever happen in your marriage that scares you or gets those red flags in the back of your mind waving there are people who can help. 

I’m certainly not the person who you would choose to confide in I’m sure but you bloody could at any time. 

Should you ever find yourself scared, anxious, hurt. The one thing you are not is alone. Your  family can help, various agencies, the friends you’re currently enconssed in bridesmaid chat with. 

I genuinely wish you the best of luck in your upcoming marriage and with all my heart hope it’s a happy, calm one

Lots of love, 
The psycho ex 


My Facebook page is here

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