Tag Archives: friends

The one where…. My child ruins Friends for me 

One thing I love about the teens getting older is being able to introduce them to TV shows and movies and books that I used to love when I was their ages. It’s so nice now they’re older to make the tv snacks, get on the sofa and watch something together.

Some of my shows and movies are more successful than others. Dawson’s Creek was ridiculed and heckled throughout, much to my dismay.

Friends though. Friends was welcomed with open arms. We went through every series. We began recording the actual programmes we would have ordinarily watched on tv as they just wanted to watch ‘one more episode’ of Friends.

I was smug.

Told you it was good eh?

“Hey! How you doing? ” became the eldests greeting as he got in of an evening. .. to his brother! To himself even! Inappropriate yet really quite funny.

” I’m FINE! “a la Ross when Rachel and Joey are together became code for anything that was clearly anything but.

Smelly cat was sung out loud.

” could I BE wearing anymore clothes ” became the answer to my insistence they wrap up warm to go to the football.

All was good.

I was cool mum.

I am the best.

Then it happened.

We’re rewatching some Friends more recently (yes they loved it THAT much) we’re at a later series, close to the end and my 15yo youngest son spoils it all.

Youngest son : Mum I’m surprised you wanted Ross and Rachel to end up together.

Me: Why? You know I’m a sucker for a love story!

Youngest son : love? Is it though? That whole relationship is just toxic. Ross is too  controlling.

I am stunned into silence at this point.

That’s OK though because he’s going to elaborate.. .

Elaborate he does. .

How unsupportive Ross is when Rachel lands her dream job.

The suffocating manner in which  he behaves about Mark. Becoming a stalky control freak creepfest.

How he never takes responsibility for cheating, using the “we were on a break” excuse.

I couldn’t disagree with any of it.

I mean Ross was never my favourite – he’s a sexist idiot. Remember the fuss he made about Ben playing with a doll? How he mocked and sacked the male nanny? ?

So the lesson learned here is this-beware of sharing your old favourites with your children, they they might just spoil it.


Not Just The 3 Of Us

 
Sha    The Tale of Mummyhood

Drains and Radiators

I’ve read lots of articles about how in order to make ourselves happier the key is often to rid ourselves of the toxic and negative people in our life. I’ve always struggled with this as a concept, after all don’t we all have negative down  days where we do feel like we drain other people with our problems?

However as time goes by, the idea of only surrounding yourself with people and even objects that enhance your life (as hopefully you do theirs) is something I’m certainly ready to do, it’s an act of self preservation really. 

The analogy goes something like this. The radiators in your life are the people who generate warmth, they give something back. That’s not to say these people don’t have down days, of course they will and of course you help them through. Generally though being around these people is a positive experience, they delight in your joy as well as sharing their own. These people enhance your life simply by being in it. 

Drains are the opposite. 

They literally drain you of energy, tire you out with their negativity. In this kind of relationship these people take way more than they ever give and are so focused on their own issues they aren’t able to listen to anyone elses. Sometimes we keep these people in our lives out of habit but time spent with them is dispiriting and you can be sure any bubble of happiness you bring to the table will be thoroughly burst. I liken them to the dementors from Harry Potter, people who suck all the happy from your soul. 

We’ve all known this type of person and most of us still probably have them around for one reason or another. You daren’t even ask how they are as you know it’ll be all doom and gloom. I feel I should say again this isn’t  a lovely pal having a crap time of things, they’re obviously going to be nurtured and loved not cast aside. I mean the ones who spending time with fill your heart with dread or you can’t share happy news with them as they’ll immediately bring down your giddy. The ones you only ever hear from when they need a listening ear, the ones who will never even ask how YOU are or how your life is going. 

Radiators though, let’s hang on to those gems with all our might. They’re the people who make our world a  bright place even on a dark day. My sister is my main one. My number one human. The girl who embraces whatever giddy idea I’m having that day and runs with it, no matter how ridiculous it may be. The first person I want to share happy news with. Being in her company is warming in itself like a comfort blanket, she makes me feel cared for and my little world is enhanced immeasurably by having her in it. 

I hope she feels the same, maybe except if she catches me when I’m hungry, I’m not at my best then.
 
I’ve another energy giver too but in a different way. (yes.. maybe it’s a boy! so what? Sssshh) Not so much cosy as empowered, they make me feel as if I could move mountains such is their enthusiasm and zeal. My little world is a more optimistic one with them in it. By the same token I’m a better person around them. The ice queen nonsense drops and I’m a softer, warmer person in their company. 

I think this technique would work for objects too. We’ve all stuff in our houses we don’t like. Maybe it’s a coffee table we think is a bit ugly but we’re just used to having around or a vase bought as a gift that you hate.

Get rid. 

Replace them with things that make you smile when you look at them. 

I’m not saying that by surrounding yourself with warm people and pretty things that nothing bad is ever going to happen. That’s obviously not the case. When the bad stuff does happen though, that’s probably when you need the amazing people and the things that make you smile the most. 

Ditch the drains. 

Cuddle up with the radiators (yes I know I hate cuddling – but as mentioned above, I’m softening)
 
Life is hard enough, fill it with people and things that make you sparkle a little!! 

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Naptime Natter