I am enjoying being part of a world where Gareth Southgate is cool.
It’s not that I have some kind of waistcoat fetish , but I just want to live in a world where nice is celebrated . Where quiet , calm and understated is appreciated.
I have always been uncomfortable with nice. It’s a description that has been used about me a lot right from being young. It’s often been in quite a negative way though.
The word nice was banned as a descriptive word in English classes at school so sorry Mr Brown but I’m about to write a whole blog post on it
In Primary school I always had to sit next to the troubled boys , the ones who wanted to kick the living shit out of folk rather than sit and do their work. They’d not cause trouble next to me , I’d be nice to them. So I had to attempt to do my learning besides the chaos that was reigning supreme beside me and barely be able to concentrate. That was where nice got you.
In later years I was always the one tasked with looking after people . New people at school , new people at work. As I was nice , I’d look after them . Which of course I did but that extra responsibility that I’d never asked for and was never asked if it were ok. It’d just be presumed because Kelly is nice she’ll do it.
I realise now that nice is often a synonym for doormat.
Nice has been used to mean –
She won’t say no
She’ll not kick up a fuss if you treat her badly
She’ll do way more than is expected of anyone else what with her being so nice
She’ll put up with guys treating her terribly so as not to hurt their feelings
She’ll forgive way too often and way too easily
She’ll back down in a confrontation so it’s fine to bully her a little bit
She’ll keep quiet about awful things you do
She’ll keep quiet about most things actually.
Us ‘nice ‘ folk need to take back the word. We all need to actually. Let’s revolutionise nice.
Let’s use nice to mean considerate and compassionate , kind and empathetic , tolerant and patient.
Not doormat but just decent human.
We can all do that.
A while ago I decided not to be around ,if it was at all possible, people who didn’t make me feel good. It has done me the world of good. So let’s add that . Nice doesn’t have to mean you put up with other peoples toxic crap because as well as being kind and compassionate towards other people we have to do the same to ourselves!
Brash and loud has been at the forefront for a long while you only have to watch any reality tv show to see that. Shouty , sweary “look at me ,I’m so wild” has become something to replicate. All well and good but are any of our lives going to be enriched by being more shouty , sweary , brash?? Well quite possibly but I’m not going to give it a go.
Surely aiming to be a little more quietly tolerant and compassionate might enrich you though. I’m definitely going to try harder.
If nice is coming back into fashion (thanks Gareth) let’s do it on out terms!!!