Category Archives: parenting

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman – a rant

Its been quite the week for female rants in our house . Quite a collaboration too , all 3 of us females here have each had a whinge about one thing or another .

Share you say ? Unburden yourselves ?

Dont mind if we do….

Earlier in the week teen girl came home with a touch of the outrage about her. This is nothing unusual but this time she had something pretty meaty to get her teeth into. 
An initiative in school had been launched to encourage more elder girls back into sport and exercise . Teen girl is the sporty type and was happy to have something new to try. However …this initiative Fit for Prom was a lunchtime fitness class for elder girls a brilliant idea with an awful name and message. Teen girl and her friends found the Fit for Prom message to be nothing more than a dangerous message that actually if you weren’t slender , toned and ‘fit’  then you shouldn’t really be going to prom. It gives me hope that this group of girls saw fit to take it up with the teacher.
Thankfully the girls PE teacher agreed with them wholeheartedly and said she felt uncomfortable with it too! Apparently this initiative was funded to allow school to put on these extra fitness class. They agreed to keep the funding ,drop the name and keep the class. Worryingly when researching Fit For Prom I found hundreds of articles on how to lose weight quick for Prom , how to tone up for your dress (all aimed at girls of course the boys just need to show up) 

I’m all for encouraging teen girls into sport but using the kind of body shaming that stops them participating in the first place is beneficial to no one.

So….we’ve dealt with this best we can. 

Then comes….lady Doritos….

*Sigh , tut, eye roll , bang head against wall*

If you missed it there was much talk of a new kind of dorito being launched , just for us ladies. Handbag size bags , they wouldn’t crunch loudly or leave ‘dorito dust’ on your hands . Us feminine ladies do not like crunchy crisps or licking our fingers don’t you know!!!

As you can imagine this went down a storm in our house. 

Me : Bloody patriarchy trying to literally silence us.

Teen Girl : Well I’ll just get crunchy ones and crunch triply loud.

Small girl : Licking your fingers is the BEST bit!!!

We don’t want lady Doritos here!

It transpired that these were not going to become a thing , everyone involved denied all knowledge and it was all a big misunderstanding (of course) I’ve read maybe it was a publicity stunt ,get us girls talking about Doritos. I’ll not be getting them again.

Sigh…..let’s see what this week brings in the way of female rants…

PS Dear Doritos,

If you really want to improve your product I’ve a few suggestions:

a) Make it so your razor sharp edges don’t dig right in your gums.

b) Add a slight curve to aid salsa dipping

c) Ditch the BBQ rib flavour

d) Don’t big yourself up with your noisy crunch. Wheat Crunchies blow you out of the water.

Thanks , a lady x


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DIY Daddy


         




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One Messy Mama






Show yourself the love this Valentine’s…

I admit I dislike Valentine’s Day.

This year it’s not just single woman bitterness as in the Kelly life story there just happens to be a little bit of a love interest currently.

I don’t like Valentine’s but I do really like the idea of love and romance ,of thoughtfulness and little gifts and letting other people know we’re quite fond of them!

So rather than sit like the Grinch of Valentine’s I’m going to go for “If you can’t beat them join them” school of thought this year. Let’s hijack this celebration and use for a whole lot of self love.

Here’s a few ideas of Valentine’s treats you can spoil yourself with.

Have half an hour with a book

Have someone else cook dinner
Be that a partner , children that are old enough or the lovely chef at the local takeaway.

Have a bath , in peace

Take a magazine , soak in bubbles alone.

Watch an old favourite movie

Probably when the kids are in bed.

Get in touch with someone who makes you smile

Practice gratitude

Make a list of things you are grateful for today.

Buy someone a little gift , just because.

Finding the perfect little gift for someone I care about is instant happiness for me!

Organise a night out with old friends

Buy yourself something you want not need

Even if it’s just an old copy of a favourite book from the charity shop.

Tell someone how fab you think they are

I did this recently it’s here if you want inspiration!

I know for some of you with little kids some of these ideas will sound like the stuff of fantasy. “A bath in peace ?” Is this woman batshit crazy I hear you cry! I know. I empathise. I remember.

You may have to tweak my suggestions a little! Bloody hell I may have to tweak my suggestions a little – a 3 teen household with also a 9yr old Lush addict and I’m banking on a long soak in the bath ? Maybe I am batshit crazy!

Do something nice for yourself this Valentine’s. If you’re loved up and happy then enjoy being spoilt by another grown up with likely better suggestions than mine – enjoy!!

If you’re the single type just think back to Valentine’s past and be grateful you don’t have to go through someone presenting you with the world’s most garish underwear (wrong size obvs ) and assuming this means their luck is in tonight !

Enjoy love week , I personally think Valentine’s should end at Primary school when the handmade cards and question marks do……although I could do a V day turnaround if handmade cards and question marks made a comeback!!!

Xxx

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Burnished Chaos

Things I learned from my sickbed….

We’ve been ill for weeks small girl and I.

You’ve probably heard me whinging about it all over social media.

We’ve had this flu like bug that’s been around and it has been grim. It’s a particularly yukky bug which wipes you out , makes you feel like crap and just when you think you’re getting better…zap! Back to square one…

Anyway during this fortnight of coughing and snot and fevers and aches and pains I believe I actually have learnt a thing or two ,ever looking for the silver linings…

YouTube is a handy nurse

Yes small girl was bored not being in school and her favourite pastime of cooking and baking was out as let’s face it who wants to eat food prepared by Slimer?!

So YouTube came into its own. She was kept quiet watching her nutty videos and even more amazing I discovered some of her youtubers voices are really soothing. I mean most of them are crazily annoying but when we’ve slouched on the sofa under a duvet as she’s watching them one or two of their voices did have me dozing off!!!

Feeding a cold just makes it more hungry

What’s the phrase feed a cold and starve a fever?? Something like that anyway. Turns out when small girl is ill , no-one tells her appetite. She ate ….and ate….and ate. You know the children’s story The Very Hungry Caterpillar? That was small girl.

I was forcing down soup and veg and super spicy curry to try and shift the cold,but it was a real effort. Small girl was behaving as though she was on Man V Food…. and she definitely emerged victorious!!

She has a great taste in books

We read together every night at bedtime but while ill we snuggled and read together some more. We’re almost finished The Person Controller by David Baddie. It is such a great book. We read Animalcolm not long back and really loved that too! So much I have got us tickets for the theatre show for her birthday (sssshhh don’t tell) She likes a funny book with great characters and an enthralling story and it seems I do too!

Eucalyptus is our bff

Olbas oil in the bath , Vicks on our feet ,oil on the radiator. Even our next door neighbours must be breathing better!

The elder 3 are very nearly great carers

They did try to look after us ,they really did. They were on hand with water and asking how we were and teen girl was basically small girl’s hot chocolate servant.

I’d highly recommend the teens as a nursing staff……well….as long as you don’t mind folk taking the piss out of the fact your voice has gone missing , repeating your ‘I don’t get ill ‘ boast to you and that you can cope with people hushing your coughing and referring to you not as mum but as Wheezy,from Toy Story then it’s all fun and games!!!

Being well rocks!!

Obvious one this but nothing like being wiped out for a few weeks to make you promise yourself you’ll be so grateful when you recover!! How I’ll eat superfoods to boost this immune system of mine , I’ll probably go for a run or two – healthy body always good right??
Let’s not kid ourselves though , the perfect end of illness treat is eating all the junk you had no desire for whilst sick and lying on the sofa watching crap TV. You’ve gotta conserve your energy after all!!

I’m just hoping we’re done with bugs,coughs and colds for a little while now!! January was not fun , let’s do better February please!

An evening at HOME Manchester

Poor unfortunates who have read my blog a while will know I am a huge fan of the solo date . Also that a while back I resolved to spend my child free time in a more productive way than sitting in an empty house whining about how it wasn’t the same without the kids when they were with daddy/grandparents. Best resolution I ever made and I’ve had so much fun since – remember the Edinburgh epiphany?

Anyway,last week I went on one of my little nights out for one. I went to a brand new place – HOME Manchester and had such a great time I had to tell you all about it.

Before I start I will just say , I bought all tickets etc myself. I’m telling you about this merely to share the love and recommend somewhere fab….
I’ll also say ,as I do with books I am not a reviewer….if I love a show I’m generally too giddy about it to write a balanced piece ,I just want to share!! I’m sure you can Google for proper reviews though!

Despite being a theatre loving girl who has lived in Manchester for a decade somehow or other this venue has passed me by (not a clue how!)

I’d read about the PUSH festival going on at HOME and after looking on the website saw there was a huge choice of plays and theatre shows over the past couple weeks I was spoilt for choice of what to see. The best kind of conundrum I think!

I chose two plays that were on the same night. 

The first show I saw was Narcissist in the Mirror with Rosie Fleeshman. A one woman show that was so cleverly written and directed and so utterly up my street covering aspirations and dodgy dates , questionable relationships and so much relevant subject manner I couldn’t have chosen better. 

An articulate monologue capturing self examination Rosie had the audience in the palm of her hand throughout. There was much laughter and relatable appreciation alongside intimate,vulnerable emotion . It’s a shame I caught the last night as I’d have rounded up friends and come back to show them how good it was.  I don’t know when or if it’ll be performed again but the Twitter account is here if you fancy keeping your eye out.

I had an hour between shows then so headed to the restaurant bar for a glass of wine with my book. The staff were lovely and the surroundings really cosy. I didn’t eat as I’d shovelled a load of nachos down my neck pre theatre. Having perused the menu afterwards though I’ll definitely try pre theatre dinner next time.

The second show I saw was [insert slogan here] by YESYESNONO theatre. This was a whole different show and feel. Accompanied by video and music , a simple concept of thought provoking poetic monologues interspersed with audience participation was delivered. It was unexpectedly touching and a little raw. A fantastically immersive show that you leave pondering past  memories and people. 

So you see this was a fabulous solo date!! So much so I’ve already made plans for a second visit and having looked at the spring/summer calendar I can see HOME Manchester becoming a firm favourite.



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          Mummy in a Tutu






JakiJellz


We’re all stories in the end….

Today would have been my dad’s birthday. I’ll probably talk about him more than usual to the kids today. Tell stories of when their auntie and I were little , re-tell some of his terrible jokes.

I wrote a post here a few years back now about how my parents are fairytale like to my children. This can be a lovely thing. Over years I guess and with each telling stories are embellished,not wholly accurate details are added and stories and tales we tell about my parents probably aren’t an absolute true reflection of events.

This picture here I remember that day ,my brother and his wife had brought us Easter eggs , the one in my hand was a buttons one and I remember my mam saying how we had too much chocolate and we had to just have a bit . I remember the feel of that bloody awful sofa and itchy cardigan.

I think that’s probably the comfort of time passing ,the pain of grief lessens and chatting about people no longer here keeps their memory alive and in our thoughts.

That said , sometimes even time can play little tricks on your mind. Last week I was at the shops and I noticed some Christmas stock in the sale. It was sets of kids crockery : a plate , bowl and mug that when you stacked up made up a snowman. I had a total nostalgia flashback of a similar set I had as a kid. An immediate thought flickered into my head “I’ll have to ask my mam about that” 

Where the hell did that come from??My mum died nearly 19 years ago!!!

Maybe that’s what the story telling does? Keeps them in mind to the point odd things like that happen.
Freaked me out a little bit I can tell you.

All these thoughts of the stories we tell got me thinking.

I wonder what my children will tell about me in years to come. To their partners,their children,their grandchildren??

What memories will they share of their childhood?
Scary thought!!

I can imagine one of them trying to cajole THEIR child into their uniform for school against a protest of whinges and telling them to think themselves lucky as once their mum took them to school on inset day!

Or cooking dinner for their family recounting the time I made pie but forgot to put greaseproof paper under the baking beads resulting in a baking bead encrusted pie base….yum!!

Will our board game Friday’s get a mention??

The fact I make the best chilli known to man?!

Which days out will be remembered?

Which bits of birthday and Christmas traditions we have now will be passed on to take place in their own homes 20 years from now?

The thing is , as modern parents, there is so much pressure to be #makingmemories of us #livingourbestlife full of #preciousfamilytime and being oh so permanently #blessed . I’ve a feeling though that all our contrived memory making won’t quite pan out (annoyingly) It’ll be the little details ,the almost missed moments that are remembered and taken to heart by the little ones . The disasters and blooper reels of our family lives that are reminisced and laughed about.

There are probably events and memories that my parents would have expected to be high up in things to tell the kids about that I never have.

I barely remember any specific presents I got for Christmas (bar my Big Yellow Teapot – that was awesome!)What I do remember though is that on Christmas Day we used to pile into our parents bed and drink tea before going downstairs to open presents , my dad taking fairy steps to drive us nuts with anticipation.

I’ve no huge memories of days out but I do remember the day we all walked all the way to Hornsea (and back) my sister and I whining and wailing all the way home – I tell that story a lot! 

I don’t remember my poor mam cooking tea day in day out so much as I do my dad’s Sunday Dinner , on the table for us when we got in from our grandma’s ,eating it with the rugby on the radio in the background. 

Really I guess when we’re no longer around all we are are the stories other people tell about us . To me that feels quite powerful. 

To quote The Doctor (anywhere I can shoehorn in a Doctor Who reference the better but it’s actually apt here) 

“We’re all stories in the end .

Let’s make it a good one eh?”


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How to survive Christmas when it’s not ‘your turn’ with the kids

I like being a single parent.

I like that all the decisions are mine.

I like that we’re a solid little unit of 5.

I like that our family dynamic is so lovely an we all just fit.

I do not like sharing the kids time.

I especially do not like sharing the kids time over Christmas. There’s no two ways about it , it sucks. Hard.

It’s bad enough that most of the big retailers Christmas ads are full of images of that perfect family unit , I even as a content single parent feel put out that I and the kids don’t have that it’s sold to us so intensely.

Some parents Christmas’ don’t look like that. It’s not mummy and daddy looking over the children rushing downstairs to see if Santa has been before tucking in a huge dinner all together with extended family gathered for extra cheer.For some parents Christmas comes with a gut wrenching incompleteness. Some years it’s simply not your turn.

I’ve done ‘not my turn ‘ with small girl a couple of times now and I thought maybe I could share how you can possibly ease the awfulness even just a tiny bit.

1) Don’t feel obliged to join other people

When people find out you’ll be alone at Christmas they’ll likely invite you to join theirs (nice humans will anyway!) If you know being in someone elses Christmas will make you feel worse though , don’t do it. It’s hard to know how you’ll feel if it’s your first time.People you are close to though I am sure if you change your mind and cannot stand sitting home alone later in the day will greet you over .
Also though

2) Don’t be a misery martyr

If you do want to take up a lovely invitation from friends and family don’t say no for daft reasons such as – they’re only asking out of politeness or that you feel that you’re betraying your children in some way if you dare crack a smile without them. You sat crying into the Quality Street will benefit no one if you’re wishing you’d have just gone to your friends rather than take up emotional self flagellation as your new hobby.

3) Have an early (or late) Christmas Day

So Santa is a tricky one if you don’t have the kids the actual day the big guy comes but I’ve found the elves are pretty open to an email explaining the situation . They’re usually good to drop a little gift off on an alternative day , nothing so huge as to upstage Mr Claus but just something to open.

Then get your Delia on ,do your turkey ,pop on a silly paper hat and have your Christmas! I’m a silver linings kind of a girl so I’ll just say if you have ‘your’ Christmas after the 25th – half price turkeys!

4 ) Remember it’s just one day

I know this is hard. Almost impossible hard. It’s THE day ,the one everyone has been banging on about for months . Tomorrow is a new one though , as is next week and you can fill the little people’s festive period with so much fun stuff. Pantos generally go in into the New Year , festive events like Winterwonderland too go on after Christmas day itself.

5) Seek out #joinin on Twitter

Ok now this one has cheered me up out of my misery on a few festive occasions. Even on years all four children are around,once they’ve gone to bed on Christmas Day I can feel a little lonely. I’m someone who enjoys my own company all year round ,but I don’t know Christmas just seems to highlight my solo-ness. It’s probably the one time I lament the absence of another adult person on my sofa.

The amazing Sarah Millican began #joinin for anyone alone on Christmas who doesn’t want to be. She explains it better here , have a read. I can vouch for it as a perker upper though. I’ll be there on and off throughout the day as really I’m often surplus to requirements once presents are done and dinner is eaten!!!

I’m @daydreamer_mum on Twitter so should you fancy slating annoying relatives , chatting about eating your own body weight in chocolate , discussing the Christmas TV or just fancy a chat over Christmas if you’re lonely tweet me . Social media has its low points but surely over Christmas we can make it a force for good.

Nothing I can say can make Christmas without the kids any less shit. I so wish it could. Take very good care of yourself if it’s not your turn this year. Remember it’s just a few days and there’ll be a gang of cool kids on Twitter around for chat!!

Xxxxx

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Not Just the 3 of Us

When 4 become 1…

You’re thinking of the Spice Girls now aren’t you?? ….yeah me too,  but this post is kid related not a 90s throwback. Although I might start giving them Spice-esque nicknames : Grumpy kid , Stroppy kid , gob almighty kid , perma-hungry kid ??Might catch on!! 

Anyway , I digress….(that’s going to be the title of my autobiography by the way)

When you have a whole tribe of kids and only 1 of you the all important one on one time can be tricky. Well when I say tricky , 1 into 4 simply does not go. It can be impossible.

Now the children are older it has become easier. I’m now able to do something with one child without everyone else wanting in! In fact these days they generally like being left alone to rot in front of a screen.

Recently there have been a few occasions though where indulging the individual children’s interests and passions has made me appreciate even more just how good it is to have those one on one times. 

My children all have very different interests. The one thing they have in common though is that when they love , they love hard. Much like their mother when they have a passion they are very enthusiastic about it!

This is how I found myself joining hundreds of people in a queue at 9 am in a Waterstones in Manchester. 

Eldest child has been into F1 since he could point and make zoomy noises on the TV whilst men in cars drove super fast (look I’m not the expert here!)

As with many things (Doctor Who , Hull City…) I got sucked in by my children’s enthusiasm and ended up being way more interested in it than I would have been. So I have found myself getting up at stupid o clock to watch races with him , I was happy to see Lewis Hamilton win the world title again and I do have a basic understanding of the rules (well except they seem to change every season!)

Anyway eager to please mum here saw Jenson Button was doing a book signing in Manchester so I told him about it. I’ve been to a few book events and signings here myself. Always very civilised affairs you buy your ticket, arrive 10 mins before the event and have a lovely time. 

This was different. I didn’t realise this was different until I had passed on the info and accepted his invitation to go with him (I’m a bit needy and they rarely want to hang out with me these days) 

This event though , involved queuing. 

Lots of queuing.

4 hours of queuing.

We were total amateurs though, the guy in front of us had travelled all the way from Northern Ireland and the man at the front of the queue had been camped outside all night! Our 15 min train ride and 4 HOURS OF QUEUING was pretty minor relatively speaking.

Despite the queuing. It really was a lovely thing to do together. I learnt a few things about my son that morning. Mainly that his F1 knowledge is almost encyclopaedic. Also though that he is a lovely ,polite , funny , chatty ,  young man (of course I knew this already but it’s quite a special insight into the kind of human he is and I just felt proud )

So the boy met one of his heroes , I know they say not to do that but Jenson was lovely and chatty and unrushed and just look at the boys face? He may be 17 but that is a look of joy … they’re rarer those moments as they get older , you’ve got to work harder for them. So what’s 4 hours between friends!!!



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Best FREE cold/rainy day attractions in Manchester…

Today’s #Blogtober17 prompt is Weather.

Part of the lazy side of me was going to rehash one of my old summer posts but re reading them it just made me a bit sad that we just didn’t seem to have much of a summer this year.

SO as it’s half term week and it’s a bit cold and rainy I thought instead I could tell you of our favourite places to go on Manchester of a rainy day and even better , they’re all free!!!

The National Football Museum

We’ve lived here almost a decade now and safe to say , in Manchester , as Hull City fans we’re in the minority!!! However as football fans we’re part of the gang!!! The National Football Museum is a football geeks dream! Youngest son would move in if he could. At 15 he has the most obscure knowledge of football facts ,I always say if they ever bring back Fantasy Football they’ve Statto’s replacement right there…anyway I digress as per. The football museum is great , the trophy cabinets are spectacular. Regardless what team you support you’ll find something of interest.This pic ,taken the first time we ever visited is the eldest listening to the radio commentary of THAT Dean Windass goal (the blurry hand of youngest son makes it look like he’s doing some rude hand gesture at the nutter behind him but I assure you this is not the case).

You can have a perfect time at the museum without any added extras but for an added charge you can also take part in some great interactive football games. This interests eldest girl as she has little interest in football history but does very much love beating her brothers at football.

Overall a great attraction for a football fan. My boys are taking their grandad for his first visit this week!!!

Imperial War Museum North

Just a short tram ride from Manchester City Centre itself .The Imperial War museum is up near Media City and the Lowry Theatre. The building itself is stunning .Once you get inside the interior is pretty breathtaking too.

The first time we all visited small girl was only about 6 and I was a bit worried it might all be a bit scary for her but I was wrong. The museum is so interactive the little ones can easily entertain themselves with displays and push buttons to their hearts content. In subsequent visits though, now everyone is that little bit older the highlight for us all has been The Big Picture Show element. Throughout the day films are shown on huge screens in a lovely big space in the museum. The lights go off and the most immersive film experience takes place ,complete with bangs and flashes (really little or easily worried children you may want to taketo a different part of the museum for this bit) and retold accounts of war experience are played alongside pictures giving a really in depth experience of what people went through. The theme of the film changes throughout the day too so you could see a couple of different ones.

Also…stop for a cuppa in the coffee shop for a gorgeous view of the Quays.

Heaton park

I know I know I said rainy /cold day activities. I’m not crazy I promise but this place is somewhere we have visited no matter what the weather!!

Another one a tram ride from Manchester city centre (plenty other public transport options and you can of course drive but small girl just loves the tram)

We started visiting here when small girl was a toddler . There’s a little farm , a boating lake and a great play park and she would pick Heaton Park as a place to go whenever she was given the option. Now as a 9 yr old , well there’s a little farm , a boating lake and a great play park so she still loves the place.

A great place to visit and go for a walk on a crisp day to blow away the cobwebs , and with a choice of places to go sit with a hot chocolate to warm up and nibble on a cake it covers all bases.

The Museum of Science and Industry

Last but by no means least.

Our absolute favourite place to visit in Manchester. The 17 yr old still loves it as much as the 9 year old!!

We love MOSI!!!

There’s just so much to see here . Some permanent features such as a whole building full of planes and cars and other vehicles  or a textile exhibition.

The Experiment! Department , well we’ve lost hours in there playing various games and doing puzzles. It’s so hands on and great for enquiring minds to soak up knowledge without even realising it.

The fab thing about MOSI is that you can have a different experience each time you go (and we have been A LOT) There are always new and changing exhibitions to run along side your old favourites!

It really comes into its own during school holidays where there’s so much for the kids to do. Shows to watch and take part in , craft activities and workshops.
Look what we did earlier this year? Learned about sewers and made slime?!

I know it looks as though small girl is channelling her inner Deirdre Barlow here but honestly she was having fun!!!

Also it’s currently Manchester Science Festival so no doubt there’ll be some extra special activities taking place . Click on the link in the title to have a look. I’m sure we’ll have paid a visit before half term is out.

So there’s our fave things to do in Manchester should it be raining…in Manchester? Surely not right? They won’t break the bank either!!
I’ve not been coerced or bribed (unfort) to include these places they genuinely are just our faves !





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Me too

Let me start by saying that so much has been written on this by people with way more depth of knowledge , by better ,more articulate writers but holding my thoughts on this in are starting to drive me nuts . So this is merely the 2 pence worth of a blogger with an opinion.

Everyone has seen the #metoo hashtag over social media the past couple of days. In the wake of the Weinstein allegations and Rose Macgowan’s subsequent suspension from Twitter over a tweet she sent about another actor a call for women to boycott Twitter in protest went up.

The point was raised and I agreed wholeheartedly that by reacting to women being silenced by voluntarily silencing ourselves was not quite right . That instead let’s speak out, let’s shout,lets flood Twitter with our voices telling our stories.

#metoo is women telling their stories of sexual harassment and sexual abuse in a bid to show exactly how widespread it is.

It’s also women not wanting to , some not able to talk about their experience. Not wanting to give light to their trauma but using #metoo just to stand in solidarity and say yes this has happened to me too.

I truly believe that there are very few women who have never been subject to harassment and abuse of this kind. Most of us have numerous occasions we could talk about. When I first heard about me too I immediately off the top of my head recalled half a dozen occasions. That was without even sitting down and thinking about it. Most women I know would say the same I think.

We’ve been yelled at out of cars and vans , felt shame at the “nice tits” comments and immediately yanked up our tops.

We’ve been rubbed up against on public transport , our space encroached on ,our bodies forced to make contact with an unwanted crotch.

We’ve been touched inappropriately yet felt too ashamed to cause a fuss!

We’ve been in one on one situations with creepy guys and felt so intimidated we’ve nervously laughed off inappropriate comments and behaviour, worried what the consequences of not would be.

We’ve been pushed further than we want to go sexually , pressurised , bullied to get us to do things we’re not comfortable with.

We’ve been raped.

Out in the street we should be safe walking down.

In our own bed , a place that should be full of comfort, by a man who we’re married to  who says he loves us as he abuses us.

By relatives , by friends , by co-workers.

These things , all these things have often happened repeatedly , they’ve been happening since we were teenagers.

We’ve often never spoken about them .

We feel ashamed and embarrassed.
We blame ourselves , we know others will blame us too.

We can’t articulate what’s happened or we downplay it.

So if just by saying me too that makes other women feel less alone  or shows how many of us have suffered then just those words can be strong.

I hate leaving a post on a depressing note but on this one I can’t do any other.

The thing is , I think in ten years time nothing much will have changed.

I don’t have all the answers . I wish I did.

I fear though that our daughters , our friends , our neighbours in a decades time will still be saying #metoo

 

 

 

Bringing up Georgia

 

 

#Blogtober17 – Day 6 – Flowers…….Daisychains like Diamonds

I struggled with today’s theme of flowers. I know nothing about flowers! I’m not a fan of flowers as gifts and I’m certainly not a gardener.

Then I remembered a moment . The one in the picture above. The day I taught small girl how to make a daisychain. 

We have spent a lot of time at the park small girl and I . As every parent knows the park is the best activity for a sunny (or indeed a cold/rainy/snowy) day . You can take a sandwich there and call it a picnic , they can run around till they’re exhausted and sometimes they even have ducks! Best of all they are free!!

We’ve had many a special moment at the park small girl and I. She teaches me her gym routines , she runs an exercise class to keep me fit,she puts on a dance show. I mean who wouldn’t want to hang out with this cool one 

Anyway , I digress as per! One day we’d sat on the park , eating our picnic chatting away and she started picking daisies and trying to ‘magic’ them into daisychains and getting frustrated it wouldn’t work. I offered to do the magic bit for her and put together her flowers into magical jewellery! She was astounded! She spent the day wearing her daisychains as though they were diamonds and I felt like I really was magic so happy did a tiny thing make her! 
It really is the little moments that count!!

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#Blogtober17