Are you singing???
I’ve got to tell you using songs from musicals as blog titles just happens I don’t plan it! I think in an alternate universe my life should have been one long musical …
Anyway,I digress (still the name of my autobiography by the way don’t steal it !)
I’ve spoken here on the blog about how I’m excited to turn 40 and I’m still very much of that mindset. What could maybe feel a bit depressing with the whole getting older thing I just feel is maybe an opportunity for a new phase of my life . The end of my 30’s isn’t sad for me . It just feels as though turning 40 is like when you’d go back to school after the summer holidays and have those blank exercise books and you’d do your absolute neatest handwriting on that gorgeous,crisp ,blank page .
I have a list (course I do ) not of things I want to do before 40 because that’s a lot of pressure, but things I want to do when I turn 40. All positive things , all things that cause no bother to anyone elses life. Nothing I need help from anyone else with. Just some personal goals to really give my 40’s the positive kick start they deserve .
It’s here (the official list is actually more colourful and written in glitter gel pens but they don’t photograph so well!)
I think it’s quite a modest list .
Here though is where the parade rainer- onners come in .
I’m a bit giddy when I’m excited …I want to tell everyone all about my grand plans. This ,my friends, is where you really get to see people .
Surprisingly even my children are supportive and positive about my plans .
“How’s your Italian coming along mum ”
” How’s the writing going ?”
“You know noone wants to come to Mull with you right? ”
Ok so the last one doesn’t sound so supportive but as it clearly says on the list go somewhere quiet alone I’m taking it .
The few people I do trust to be on board with my plans really are !They ask and seem interested (appreciate it even if they’re bored of me !)
Then there are …..the others ….the sneerers that are present in my life . I wrote all about them here , you’ll probably recognise them.
I don’t know if you guys have these kind of people in your life . People who whenever you try to be positive try to stick a big old rain cloud in . You say you’re going for dinner somewhere nice for them to tell you about their friend who went there and got food poisoning? You say you’re starting a new hobby and they used to do that but broke their ankle and ruined their life . You say you got a brand new dress and they tell you it’ll be half price in the sales next week and you’ve wasted your money ?!!
I hope some of you are nodding along here otherwise I really need to take a hard look at my life !!
Why would you see someone is happy and giddy and try to make them miserable (I’m no psychologist but my guess is because they’re pretty miserable people with no ambition and so they just want everyone to feel like them)
My list isn’t going to impact negatively on anyone’s life but my puppy dog enthusiasm about it seems to be threatening to some!!
So I have to hear how I’m not the right shape for running (effing nonsense ) How I definitely won’t do a marathon because well…you know they’re pretty hard (hmmm yeah they are ,but so is birthing and raising 4 kids . So is leaving a long abusive relationship . So is ….well putting on duvet covers actually yet here I am , doing it !)
Urgh you’ve been saying you’re finishing that book forever …yawn…
(True I have . I’m a little temperamental though . Also full of anxiety and imposter syndrome when it comes to writing. So I’ve binned the whole thing in a strop/fit of self loathing many a time and had to start from scratch. Not necessarily a bad thing !)
I’m excited to be 40 , I’m excited to see how many things on my list I can do before the year is out. I’m excited to then make a 41 list.
I am , by nature , an optimist .
The realist in me knows maybe all the list won’t get ticked off but I’m still ready to give it a good old go !!
So let’s join together and turn the other cheek to all the negative voices and sneerers.
Let’s stick with good old Barbra and sing at the top of our lungs about not letting anyone rain on our parades !!!
*afterthought..see the list IS realistic because if it wasn’t – being leading lady in a West End show would DEFINITELY be up there .