With thanks to Annette at 3 Little Buttons for her blogtober prompts
I am taking part in blogtober and attempting to blog every day this month. Today’s Blogtober prompt is letters.
It’s a fact about me that I love writing letters !! I love the whole experience finding a nice pen , pretty paper and envelopes , the feeling of putting your thoughts down on paper and physically writing them down. Licking the envelope , placing the stamp in the right place. I find sitting and writing a letter one of the most relaxing things to do.
My letter for today though is a little bit different.
I’m writing myself a little pep talk. In advance. I’m writing this today to publish tomorrow to give myself a talking to should I need it .
I’m back in the family court tomorrow , somewhere I’d hoped I’d seen the back of as the last time was so traumatic for me. However tomorrow I am back again. I obviously won’t go into detail here but let’s just say there are people that being forced to be around just leave me needing that little pep talk .
Dear Kelly ,
Firstly I hope you’ve had breakfast…and water , not tea because it makes you jittery at the best of times. You have ? Well that’s good.
I want you to think back to the first time you did this. When you had to entrust the safety of your children to strangers. When you had to sit in a room with someone who had caused you so much trauma and pain and you were scared. You’d walk in looking at the floor so as not to catch his eye , you’d sit in a corner trembling , trying to take up as little space as possible , trying not to draw attention to yourself. reverting to the behaviour that you used during the years in the abusive relationship. It’s odd how quickly you’d flip straight back to that in his presence.
Well i don’t think you need telling this many years later but I’m going to say it none the less.
We are having none of that today.
It’s head up , stand tall , shoulders back. We don’t do hunching and looking at the ground now . You remember being told how awful your posture was because you’d held yourself that way so long? No more .
I know you’ll feel a bit anxious , that’s normal .We’ll have no trembling though , no vomiting , no feeling like you are going to faint. We’ll have deep breaths and water and concentrating on the job in hand.
On your way put your kickass playlist on your phone. Channel all those women you keep in there for times such as this . Let Beyonce and Pink do their thing until you are striding as though you indeed are Sascha Fierce.
You are strong.
You are capable.
You are able to get through the toughest of times and come out the other side and that is powerful.
You have a crack team of people who are there to give you a little hand up if you stumble , maybe give that sweet boy a text who always has the right words to calm you.
I believe in you .
Don’t forget the breakfast.
Love , Kelly