Taking the wheel….

img_20180212_135907_534-284299248.jpgDo you ever feel like you’re a passenger in your own life?

That you’re sat there somewhere in the middle of the bus with someone else firmly at the wheel steering your life from one direction to another whilst you’re just sat gazing out the window watching the scenery whizz by but making none of the decisions.

(My name is Kelly and I am over fond of a ropey analogy)

People hop on the bus , engage you in small talk , some stay longer than others . Some you unexpectedly find yourself getting quite deep and meaningful with. Then they hop off  back to their own lives .

It’s not necessarily one person driving the bus either. It’s events , circumstance , other people’s dramas.

It’s not you though , it’s never you and it doesn’t really occur to you to mind. You’ve no desire to march yourself to the front of the bus and take the wheel. In fact you’re often too busy people watching your fellow passengers to even notice this is what’s happening.

Ok I’ll stop with the bus now , but I realised recently that I am way too passive in my own life. I don’t make things happen , I’m not dynamic.

My life is spent reacting to situations I find myself in. Reacting to circumstances I find myself in .

I want that to change.

It holds me back you see . My reticence to make a decision about something I want and going out there and getting it leave me forever making plans but nothing ever coming of them.

Recently I went to a workshop about goal setting and it left me really motivated and inspired. You remember I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before 40 ? It’s just here but am I out there chasing them down like a woman on a mission?? Absolutely not . I sent some enquiries re dance classes but when I heard nothing back I left it. I’ve looked at my drafts of ‘The Book’ tweaked a few bits here and there but not really done so much work.

I’m not being down on myself here , really I’m not but this inability to go and grasp the bull by the horns irritates the hell out of me !!

I read once how character traits that you dislike in other people are because you recognise them in yourself. It’s true. I get frustrated by people who have things they are going to do ‘one day ‘but when asked what steps they are taking to get towards these goals there are none.I see myself in this kind of behaviour. I have plans , books and books and books of plans , but rarely do I make it passed step 1!!

I make excuses too (another irritant) I don’t have the time (yet I managed to squeeze in 5 episodes of Russian Doll last night) I probably shouldn’t be spending money on something as self indulgent as dance classes ( so knock your Friday bottle of wine on the head then!!) My blog is just a hobby. I don’t need to do the self hosted thing (Kelly you’ve been wittering on about it for bloody years just get it done!!)

The nonsense and excuses and procrastinating end here!

I’m taking the wheel!

This evening I will watch my trash TV once a good 500 words have been added to ‘The Book’ . It’s not many , but this everyday will add up.

Let’s go grab that wheel and steer towards productivity and see what a journey we can have !!

Just as a positive aside to disliking negative character traits you recognise in yourself , it works the other way round too. Character traits you find attractive in other people are often ones you recognise in yourself . That’s a nice thought isn’t it !!

Right , stop trying to distract me I have work to do!!!!

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14 thoughts on “Taking the wheel….

  1. I used to be pro-active in my own life. In fact I was so pro-active I made every other family member’s life go forwards. Since that was taken away from me I find all I ever feel is frustration, and I blame myself for no-one else taking the wheel.
    That’s me though.
    I’m glad you are taking this stance, I hope you carry it through and will look forward to hearing about all your successes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. oh the old procrastination – but I do genuinely think there is something positive in this: If we all just strife to achieve this and that and the other, we would be in a cold world where everybody is the same. It’s often the meandering that leads to something new. Maybe this is something we all need to learn? #mixitup

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kelly I can’t tell you how glad I am that I read this post this morning – it’s like it was meant for me! This problem is constantly on my mind too but especially this week because I am getting so frustrated with how little I am getting done. I have so much that I want to write down, I keep making plans, I keep writing lists and jotting down ideas but I never get around to doing it. You’re right – it’s time to take control of the steering wheel! Let’s get this bus in gear!! And no trash tv for me either tonight until I get something written down. Ok I gotta go now too but thank you for the pep talk. Let’s do this!! #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This really made me smile Kelly… and I LOVE the bus thinking. I think I’m a little bit like this sometimes too. But when you’ve got a passion you have to go for it. Like your book. I will be 1st in line to buy a copy 🙂 Thanks for joining us for the #dreamteam xx

    Liked by 1 person

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