We’re all stories in the end….

Today would have been my dad’s birthday. I’ll probably talk about him more than usual to the kids today. Tell stories of when their auntie and I were little , re-tell some of his terrible jokes.

I wrote a post here a few years back now about how my parents are fairytale like to my children. This can be a lovely thing. Over years I guess and with each telling stories are embellished,not wholly accurate details are added and stories and tales we tell about my parents probably aren’t an absolute true reflection of events.

This picture here I remember that day ,my brother and his wife had brought us Easter eggs , the one in my hand was a buttons one and I remember my mam saying how we had too much chocolate and we had to just have a bit . I remember the feel of that bloody awful sofa and itchy cardigan.

I think that’s probably the comfort of time passing ,the pain of grief lessens and chatting about people no longer here keeps their memory alive and in our thoughts.

That said , sometimes even time can play little tricks on your mind. Last week I was at the shops and I noticed some Christmas stock in the sale. It was sets of kids crockery : a plate , bowl and mug that when you stacked up made up a snowman. I had a total nostalgia flashback of a similar set I had as a kid. An immediate thought flickered into my head “I’ll have to ask my mam about that” 

Where the hell did that come from??My mum died nearly 19 years ago!!!

Maybe that’s what the story telling does? Keeps them in mind to the point odd things like that happen.
Freaked me out a little bit I can tell you.

All these thoughts of the stories we tell got me thinking.

I wonder what my children will tell about me in years to come. To their partners,their children,their grandchildren??

What memories will they share of their childhood?
Scary thought!!

I can imagine one of them trying to cajole THEIR child into their uniform for school against a protest of whinges and telling them to think themselves lucky as once their mum took them to school on inset day!

Or cooking dinner for their family recounting the time I made pie but forgot to put greaseproof paper under the baking beads resulting in a baking bead encrusted pie base….yum!!

Will our board game Friday’s get a mention??

The fact I make the best chilli known to man?!

Which days out will be remembered?

Which bits of birthday and Christmas traditions we have now will be passed on to take place in their own homes 20 years from now?

The thing is , as modern parents, there is so much pressure to be #makingmemories of us #livingourbestlife full of #preciousfamilytime and being oh so permanently #blessed . I’ve a feeling though that all our contrived memory making won’t quite pan out (annoyingly) It’ll be the little details ,the almost missed moments that are remembered and taken to heart by the little ones . The disasters and blooper reels of our family lives that are reminisced and laughed about.

There are probably events and memories that my parents would have expected to be high up in things to tell the kids about that I never have.

I barely remember any specific presents I got for Christmas (bar my Big Yellow Teapot – that was awesome!)What I do remember though is that on Christmas Day we used to pile into our parents bed and drink tea before going downstairs to open presents , my dad taking fairy steps to drive us nuts with anticipation.

I’ve no huge memories of days out but I do remember the day we all walked all the way to Hornsea (and back) my sister and I whining and wailing all the way home – I tell that story a lot! 

I don’t remember my poor mam cooking tea day in day out so much as I do my dad’s Sunday Dinner , on the table for us when we got in from our grandma’s ,eating it with the rugby on the radio in the background. 

Really I guess when we’re no longer around all we are are the stories other people tell about us . To me that feels quite powerful. 

To quote The Doctor (anywhere I can shoehorn in a Doctor Who reference the better but it’s actually apt here) 

“We’re all stories in the end .

Let’s make it a good one eh?”


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52 thoughts on “We’re all stories in the end….

  1. Lovely memories. What touched me about your piece is that you seem to be from the UK, and your feelings about the past are very similar to mine, just that mine have a US setting. People are people.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bittersweet and lovely post. I can identify with having that flash of wanting to share something with my Dad who died almost 18 years ago.I wonder does that ever go away? I’d like to believe I can leave my children with some special memories, they will probably not be the ones I’d expect though. #globalblogging

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  3. Ahhh this is beautifully written and very reflective and poignant. I’m so sorry I thought I’d commented on it before for another linky but I can’t see the comment! You are so right it won’t be the ‘big’ things that we engineer as ‘memory-making’ that get remembered as much as those little things. I love the sound of your Friday board game nights! #thesatsesh xx

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  4. I love this post. It is sweet, honest and profound. You are right that it will be the little things that stick in our children’s minds for years to come. It will be the missed opportunities and random thoughts rather than the things that we want to try and make memories from. Thank you for sharing your memories. Pen x #mg

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  5. I am so deeply touched by this post, it is amazing how you said about asking your mum, it is weird yet so very beautiful too. The best way to keep loved ones with us is those stories, those memories this is truly a beautiful post! So touching.

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  6. This is a brilliant post Kelly. Like you, it’s really made me think. As you know, I also lost my father at a young age but we have many similar memories and of my mum too. Now, I’m worried that we might be a bit boring!!! I do often think at times like Christmas whether ‘our’ Christmas memories will carry through time. I guess it’s not something that can be constructed either with the memory being with the beholder. We do have lots of ‘do you remember when’ conversations though so maybe that’s where it all starts. All a bit scary really thinking about our legacy isn’t it! Thanks for sharing such a great post with #tweensteensbeyond

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  7. I think you’re right there is a little too much pressure on this whole making memories things and it gets us parents tied up in a knot. Like you I don’t neceaassrily remember all the big days out but more the times my family and actually played things and did stuff in the house, which I try and hold to for my kids. I hope they have similar memories of their mum making time and effort for them and that is the story they tell of me! Thanks for joining us ar #familyfun

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  8. Lovely memories to have and keep telling those stories to the children, even when they become adults. I think we’ve successfully managed to erase all the bad parenting family moments from the children’s minds #tweensteensbeyond

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  9. The best memories are usually the simplest. I remember sitting with my mom on the couch as we both read our books, it was our favorite weekend activity. Or the family walking to the local bakery every Sunday morning to get a donut. #GlobalBlogging

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  10. Oh gosh, that gave me the tingles. We really are stories in the end aren’t we. I definitely think those big memories have nothing to do with stuff and toys and are more about an emotional connection to an event. Here’s to all the happy ones. Thanks for joining us for the #Dreamteam xx

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  11. I always find it funny the odd little things that we remember. They clearly struck a chord or were important to us in some way.With so much of our lives being documented on social media these days I wonder if our children will use the resources available to share our stories through photos and videos too, or whether it’s really the anecdotes that are important. #BlogCrush

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  12. This makes me so sad, I hate to think about a time I’m long-gone. I lost my dad too. He was also a January birthday, 6th January to be precise. I have moments like you did with that set. He looked old before he died, even though he wasn’t really, he was just ill.I catch glimpses of tallish old men and think it’s him for a second. It’s a sad flash of reality when I remember he’s gone. I hope my kids remember me well. xx

    #BlogCrush

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  13. The best memories are always the ones that just appear in a moment and are not those that come from questions about a period in your life. Our legacy is also present in what the next generation does sub consciously. I have rituals which I enact from my childhood with my family because they have left an impression upon me and I hope that I will do the same for my teens. Thanks for linking Kelly. #TweensTeensBeyond

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  14. Yet another amazing post Kelly and the phrase that stands out or me is ‘contrived memory making’ – what a wonderful sentence that is! I so agree that special moments just happen – often when you are least expecting it. You have got me thinking about what my kids will remember about me. Probably my inability to use a remote control! Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Ah I love this post! I agree that it’s the little things that will probably be remembered, little quirks of our personalities and sayings we use every day. Very interesting to think about it! Thanks for sharing with #fortheloveofBLOG

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  16. Memories and stories are so important – and often it’s the little things we remember rather than the big ones. My earliest memories of childhood are of inconsequential events – I often wonder how our kids will remember us when we’ve gone and what stories they will tell. #fortheloveofBLOG

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  17. Bittersweet memories – I think that memories are things we hold onto forever and little things can take you back to that time – we don’t even realise it. It is good that you tell your children about their grandparents, although they’ve probably never met them, it is good for them to know where you come from.#Blogcrush

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  18. what a poignant post. My father in law died 7 years ago last week and we were just talking about the stories he lives on through. Like you say its he small (seemingly insignificant) moments that stick not the big money gifts; playing pooh sticks; that game of pictionary where he thought the answer was armour plated badger !!! etc etc. #blogcrush

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  19. I’ve been thinking the same lately (I thought it was old age haha) I tell stories of my parents to my children because they are no longer around and I want them to remember them. I barely have any memories of my Dad, but the ones I do have are happy ones, I always remember my childhood as happy but sometimes I question this. Some memories are crystal clear and others seem to be blocked out! I don’t know how much longer I will be in my children’s life but I’m desperate to make sure that they will remember me and have good memories. It’s so tricky, my older children already have a completely different recollections of their childhood to me!
    Food for thought!
    #blogcrush

    Like

    1. My sister and I have said this ,we kinda look back at all the good things , I’m not sure our childhood is exactly how we remember but they’re the happy memories that stick

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  20. Wow Kelly – what a fab bit of writing! So thought-provoking. I look back on my own memories of childhood and you’re right – it’s “the almost missed moments that are remembered”. I’m sorry to hear that you have suffered such loss, but it’s lovely to hear that the memories live on (in you and in the stories your children now know too). #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  21. It’s so strange isn’t it. The way the mind works. We lost my auntie last year and every now and again, when I take a photo of my daughter I think, oh I must send this to my auntie.
    She taught me how to ride a bike and was such fun to be around, I have endless stories about her to tell my daughter and knowing that makes me happy. #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I love telling stories of my childhood to anyone who’ll listen because I had a wonderful one and so many happy memories (poor hubby’s eyes glaze over once I’m on a roll and the stories come thick and fast! Haha). And it’s how we keep the memories alive and relevant.

    And someone loved this so much, they added it back into the BlogCrush linky this week! Yeah! #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

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