This parenting lark has a cruel twist…

Whilst I was away in Edinburgh discovering myself and being the most self indulgent I’ve ever been – my children were growing up without me.

So there I was in Edinburgh , aware of course that the elder 3’s dads wedding was taking place at the same time. In fact I chose to go away those dates purposefully so I wasn’t at home brooding resentfully .

I was sat in a cute little tea shop , scribbling in my notebook watching the world go by when my phone beeped.

This popped up on the screen:

 

Firstly I was shocked.There’s a distinct possibility my mouth was open and I was sporting the look my sister calls my ‘dozy face’

Just look at those beautiful young people.

They’re not those tiny babies I once had .

They’re not the toddlers that meant I didn’t sleep for 3 years.

They’re not the pre-schoolers I spent time teaching to read and write so terrified I was that they’d be behind otherwise.

They’re not those little children I scooped up and ran away with , changing all of our lives forever.

This girl is not my hoody loving girl who hasn’t worn a dress in a decade:

(Though the second she came back she reverted to hoody girl to my relief)

They’re grown , rounded , amazing , sociable people.

Then an awful thought struck me.
I’m on borrowed time.

I’ve had these amazing people in my life for so long. I’ve been the one allowed to attempt to raise and guide them and ensure I put good people out into the world.

Obviously at this point I’m the teary woman in the tea shop (thank goodness for hidden corners)

Having a post weekend thought dump on my Facebook page over the weekend I kind of worked out where the shock and the sadness came from.

You see the end game of this parenting lark is quite a cruel one. The main objective after all the blood sweat and (soooo many )tears is to have raised children who no longer need you. Who can survive and thrive independently. That’s pretty hard to take. 

I think it’ll be ok though.

Back when I was a mum of 3 under 3 an old lady at a bus stop looked at the hormonal,sleep deprived woman and though it was ok to tell her that she didn’t know how people could bring children into such a terrible world.  I jumped straight on the defensive and told her maybe if I raised good people they could get out there and change it a little for the better .

I think maybe I’ve done just that!




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30 thoughts on “This parenting lark has a cruel twist…

  1. 3 gorgeous children and there is nothing quite like seeing them dressed very differently to realising how grown up they are becoming. My daughter must be the same age as yours, she also has the hoodie thing going on. My boys are a similar age too. #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  2. oh no they always need you, it’s just different, mine are now 28, 25, 22 and 18, I’ve spent the past 2 days with the 18 year old shopping and chilling out, no he didn’t have anything, the 28 yo and his girlfriend were over this morning, the 22 year old has been chatting all day from Iraq on face book and the 25 yo phoned from Australia. Nobody wanted parenting, they just wanted to be with mum, it’s lovely #tweensteensbeyond

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  3. What a fabulous post! I’m at a similar stage to you and it’s so final isn’t it? However I look at it like this….the reasons they are so amazing, grounded and ready to go out into the world is because you were there all the time. That’s our job….it’s just it doesn’t occur to us that the mundane parts to motherhood come to an end. Lovely post. #tweenteensbeyond

    Liked by 1 person

  4. With my two year old and one on the way I can only imagine what this must be like as it feels so far away right now, it’s going to fly by though isn’t it!? What a lovely post you’ve written, all the tears! XxX ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

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  5. This is so lovely, and what a gorgeous bunch you have! I completely get what you mean about borrowed time. Even with mine so young, I can see the milestones racing by way too quickly. I swear that time has only gone this fast since having children! Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam xx

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  6. What beautiful children and clearly a testament to the hard work, love and devotion you have bestowed on them over the years. I hope you are feeling mega proud of what you have achieved as well as of them. You are right as well though that it is tough to stand back as they let go. Thanks for joining us again. #TweensTeensBeyond

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  7. #thesatsesh yes to this! and sod that old lady… you are so right. I remember my mum crying down the phone when i was at uni because i wasn’t calling her. Why? because she did such an awesome job I didn’t need to. Now a Mummy myself you’ll be pleased to know I call daily 🙂

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  8. From the looks of it, you have achieved that mission of creating good people.. they’re all beautiful, no wonder you are so proud of them! It is the cruel end game of parenthood… we are creating individuals who will one day fly the nest. I try and remember that when I have mine hanging onto my legs whilst I’m trying to get the housework done!ha! Lovely post as ever! Thank you so much for joining in with the #HoneybeeLinky lovely, see you at the next one I hope! xxx

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