Shared parenting turns me into a complete cow….

It really does.

Honestly I try to be a good human. I try to do the right thing. 

I try my upmost to be kind and compassionate.

However…

It would seem if you want to bring out the worst in me , co-parent with me.

I just can’t bite my tongue.

I can’t always be reasonable

I can’t turn the other cheek.

I’m a jealous,insecure nutcase.

I’m a spoilt petulant toddler.

I’ll say here as I always do ,small girl’s daddy is a fab daddy. This isn’t about him as such but just the situation.

Here I am not married to the guy , not dating the guy , not even particularly friends with the guy and yet I still have to factor his feelings into any decisions I make regarding small girl. That’s the right thing to do,that’s what’s best for her. I know that.

Small girl has split her time between the two of us since she was tiny. Having two homes is her normal and she’s the most happy and content little girl .Me however…..

It’s such bloody hard work,emotionally draining (I know that’s a bit of a knob phrase but I can’t think of a better way to describe it) It’s the never ending compromise and discussion and always having to take other people’s views into account and basically being a reasonable adult always that takes it out of me!!!

Every summer holidays small girl and daddy head off on their annual roadtrip on their hols.She absolutely loves it and they have great fun and she’s always full of talk of her adventures when she  gets back. She’s done that for years so that’s her normal during the summer.

It’s not my normal though. I miss her. I want to be the one experiencing new things with her, I want to be the one to take her to boring castles ( see excerpt from last year’s holiday diary)

I wanted to take her camping the first time , I wanted to do everything first actually…and second…and forever…

You see I know I’m being ridiculous and unreasonable so that’s a relief. I know the bitchy passive aggressive texts I sometimes don’t stop myself sending in time are juvenile. I know muttering F off under my breath when something has been said that I don’t like is unnecessary but just sometimes plastering on a smile and reverting to my default as the people pleaser you can read about here just isn’t possible!!

I don’t want to take her camping,I bloody hate camping .I share her thoughts on castles for that matter!!! We’re lucky to have daddy to step into the breach for all those outdoorsy pursuits.

I’m the craft parent who doesn’t mind paint making a mess , I’m cooking mummy and ‘making stuff’ person. I’m Disney karaoke mummy.

She has the best of both worlds and is so happy with it.

It’s just for me sometimes I feel as though I only get to be part of half her world and that sucks a bit.


My Facebook page is here

Me, Being Mummy
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17 thoughts on “Shared parenting turns me into a complete cow….

  1. Oh this must be so hard. I always complained when my husband left, that he didn’t see the children often enough, I had to do everything for them. He moved to another country and only saw them once or twice a year. But I wouldn’t have swapped anything really. Yes, they tired me out, and I was a full time working mum, so extra tired. But I had them all too myself and for that I feel lucky. I also think I would have been like you if he’d wanted to see them regularly. I wouldn’t have been able to control my jealousy, and I would have missed them terribly. When they turned 16 they used to go and visit him in France and had an amazing time. I still felt as though I should have been there too. It’s so hard and I sympathise, even though I didn’t have the same experience xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find it bad enough when my husband does something fun with L and I’m at work. It must be a million times worse for you. I don’t blame you for wanting to be the first to do things with her, even if it is boring her to death at a castle. Best diary excerpt ever btw

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I so totally and utterly get this. I have spent the last three weeks complaining loudly at the Other Half because I missed Number One so much. As much as it is the right thing for them, it really is so very very hard for us x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I applaud anyone who co-parents, whether they find it easy or not. I can imagine it must feel horrible to think you are missing out on certain things, especially firsts. I suppose you could take the approach that firsts don’t count unless they are with you. That’s what I did when my four year old went to nursery as a baby – his first step/word/etc didn’t count until he’d done them at home with us. It softened the feeling of missing out a little.
    #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

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