Any poor unfortunates who have been reading my blog for a while will know how back ,what seems like forever ago , I was very emotionally stifled . I think I’m naturally a little that way anyway but the long abusive relationship did cause me to shut down emotions absolutely. It was a survival technique and it did what was necessary at the time.
Unfortunately after leaving the relationship and being free the Ice Queen remained . Writing this blog , therapy ,time and surrounding myself with awesome people has chipped away at Ms icy knickers and now being here , healed well the ice has thawed an awful lot.
This getting in touch with your emotions thing though? Well it’s a bloody rollercoaster.
I’m not a crier ,never have been. Since my feelings returned though and the numb left me it’s as though I’m feeling everything in 100% high definition 4D in my face intensity
I’m glad about this , honestly I am. Numb isn’t a nice way to be . It protects you from the horrid but it robs you from the joy. I am feeling now ,all whipped up in a rush of emotions. It’s overwhelming but I’m grateful.
Turns out though underneath the ice queen exterior is a total cry baby. I’ve shed emotional tears over some pretty ridiculous stuff lately though. Want to hear?
Although this one isn’t ridiculous.
When the new Doctor was revealed and those female eyes were shown …well firstly I screamed. Then I cried. It may seem to some a silly thing to cause a tear but to me as a woman this is huge ,just massive.I had hoped with all my might that she would be a woman but deep in my heart I didn’t believe she would be. We have change. It touched me hugely and unexpectedly.
The Doctor is a woman.
A Yorkshire lass at that.
Watch out Daleks.
(PS men moaning that this ruins their childhood and that the only decent male role model for little boys has been taken away from them.Well I’ve an idea ,why don’t you work on being a positive role model yourself and drop the misogyny.)
More ridiculous things I’ve cried about though are these.
How empowering Let It Go is during Disney Karaoke with the kids.
Because the eldest was reading the youngest Harry Potter.
The LaLa land date on Love Island
Because small girl was just described as a good role model for younger kids in her school report.
Because the boys put on THAT Windass goal.
Because a lovely comment was left on my blog.
You know what though,it all felt good. This wasn’t sad weeping it was just feeling. I’m a beginner you see? All these feels are a hard thing to learn to manage.
So happy to be finally feeling all these emotions I could almost shed a tear over that itself!!!
As The Doctor would say though ” Where there’s tears there’s hope.
Where’s the tissues??!!