Totally conned by mum guilt… 

parenting, ,

Last week we had one of ‘those’ mornings. You know the ones?

Whatever breakfast you offer is rejected. School uniforms take approximately 5 months to put on. The small one remembers she needed to hand in work today. The teens meanwhile are showing zero signs of life despite needing to leave in 30 minutes. Then JUST as you’re about to walk out of the door the teens start shoving letters in your face than need signing RIGHT NOW!

THAT kind of a morning.

Unfortunately THAT kind of a morning brings out the worst version of mum me that there is.

I’m snappy mum, I’m horrible tone of voice mum, I’m tuts and sighs and rolls her eyes mum. Impatient and grumpy and irritable and I don’t like her much at all.

So here’s where the mum guilt con is strong. This monstrous morning led to, having finally left the house to take small girl to school, sitting at the bus stop cuddling her tight and me apologising to her for being snappy. Explaining I just needed to hurry her along a bit as we’d have been late for school otherwise but I shouldn’t have used my irritated tone of voice. Mum guilt also bought her pacifying warm pain au chocolate en route to school to sweeten her up so she didn’t go into school upset with me.

Now here’s where the mum guilt con hits it’s target perfectly.

You see. .. .

It wasn’t me who rejected a selection of breakfast items because the obscure item I’d decided I must have wasn’t available.

It wasn’t me who refused to open her eyes because it was still dark outside.

It wasn’t me crying because my bed was too cosy to leave.

It wasn’t me who, despite having some sucker willing to help get her dressed, chose to lie without moving in a one girl protest about the ‘wrong’ tights.

It wasn’t me who used the time set aside for washing and teeth brushing to instead draw getting felt tip covered fingers.

It certainly wasn’t me who screamed the word torture as I had my hair brushed!

Me? I’d been pretty reasonable. Got up, made breakfast, didn’t ask for any assistance getting dressed or brushing my teeth. Woke small girl with a kiss then attempted to gently cajole her out of bed.

Yet here I was apologising and feeling terrible and guilty about my lack of patience. Promising myself I’d do better in the future. Annoyed with myself I’d been grumpy.
I’m telling you. Mum guilt. It’s one big con.

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Burnished Chaos

Burnished Chaos

40 thoughts on “Totally conned by mum guilt… ”

  1. I’m getting this as a dad already, and my daughter is only 20 months old! The second I stop her doing something she wants to do but is dangerous (like trying to climb over the gate), she makes a face that is just heart breaking that I just cuddle her and apologise… for keeping her safe.. Haha

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  5. Yep! Say no to mum guilt! I try to, some days are harder than others. Good call on the pan ah chocolate though, hope you got some too! Xx #FortheloveofBLOG

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  6. Urgh it’s terrible I’m not sure why we feel that way, but it’s being human. I hate the mum guilt, but I have that everyday I drop my daughter at nursery, or when I’m home working. The mum guilt it something that’s built into us, there’s nothing wrong with it, and I think that we all need to be easier on ourselves. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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  9. Love, love, love this! So very true! I am also that mum, far to often. Both the grumpy one and the guilty one. I’m sure you’ll have made a lot of us feel a lot more human with this post. #PostsFromTheHeart

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  17. So true! I have to keep reminding myself, and my teenagers, who is accountable for what. Thanks for this great post. #Blogstravaganza

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  19. Lol! I snapped yesterday and spent a good deal of lastnight feeling bad for it. But, it really is a con. We snap because we aren’t being listened to or having our efforts or requests respected. It’s a learning curve for everyone really xx

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  23. I have had those mornings and I used to get a huge load of mom guilt. Every now and then it still sneaks up on me especially in the mornings before I’ve had my coffee and on the rare occasions that my kids aren’t choosing to cooperate. As they get older the guilt gets a little easier I think. But it’s still there, looming it’s ugly head. #FamilyFunLinky

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  24. This sounds like my house every morning. Shouty, irritated mum is coming out a lot lately and the guilt is piling up, but the guilt just makes me more irritable so it’s a vicious cycle. It’s only when I let myself off the hook that I realise the kids couldn’t care less anyway and some form of order is restored (well, until the next morning anyway 😂).
    Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky x

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  27. Kelly this is absolutely spot on!!! I’d never thought of it that way. I quite often find myself beseiged by mum guilt after a shouty morning, but I only ever morph into her when my kids have been a bloody nightmare getting up and ready! It’s is! It’s such a con!!! This really is a perfect post for the #ItsOK linky, thanks so much for joining us xxx

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  28. This is me. Everytime. And even while I feel the wretched mumguilt and apologise to and kiss my LO, I hate that I’m doing it because IT WASN’T MY FAULT!!!! Mumguilt is a b***h indeed… the biggest con ever! Guess #itsok to feel the wrath when things aren’t going to plan (courtesy our non-co-operative kids) – aren’t we but human, after all? Thanks for joining us on the #itsok linky once again lovely!

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