You probably know me better as the ‘psycho ex’, the ‘bitch from hell’, the woman who took the love of your lives children away, the ‘crazy, lying, heartless slag’ and many other variations on the theme.
You’ll have heard all the tales about me. You must be so relieved that your future husband has a normal, decent woman in his life after all he’s been through.
I’m lucky enough to be privy to the official story my ex tells about me. The girlfriend after me told me it when she reached out to me feeling that things didn’t quite add up.
It’s a really good story. Plausible. I understand why it’s believed without question. To people in his new life anyway. I still can’t get my head around why the people who actually knew me would believe it or help him perpetuate it but to be honest I’ve given that way more head space than it ever deserved over the years, it’s getting no more.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you my story. I am fully aware what a waste of both our times that would be.
I do just want to tell you a couple of things though. Firstly, the kids are big fans of yours. They honestly think you’re great. I believe you coming onto the scene has been a catalyst in their dad deciding to see them again from time to time. I thank you for that – I won’t pretend I’M happy he’s around but the kids deserve to feel as though they have two parents.
They’re fantastic kids, as you know and now as older astute teenagers it’s down to them to make up their own minds in any given situation. They’ve all at one point or another wondered out loud what you see in their dad but yes they’re fond of you.
I just hope that the things they like about you are never stamped out.
I’m told you’re funny and chatty and I hope you never become the woman too scared to talk, afraid of the consequences.
I’m told you’re lively and happy and I hope that’s never snatched away-that you’re never left with such low self esteem you’re filled with nothing but self loathing.
The kids say you got a bit tipsy new year and had a fun singalong. I hope you’re never accused of being an alcoholic, a disgrace, an embarrassment.
Secondly, know you’re in my thoughts often. I worry about you, hopefully needlessly.
I’m a little reassured by how close you are to your family and I’m never going to say people can’t change but forgive my scepticism on this one.
Just know, should anything ever happen in your marriage that scares you or gets those red flags in the back of your mind waving there are people who can help.
I’m certainly not the person who you would choose to confide in I’m sure but you bloody could at any time.
Should you ever find yourself scared, anxious, hurt. The one thing you are not is alone. Your family can help, various agencies, the friends you’re currently enconssed in bridesmaid chat with.
I genuinely wish you the best of luck in your upcoming marriage and with all my heart hope it’s a happy, calm one
Lots of love,
The psycho ex
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