Monthly Archives: January 2017

A note to my children’s, soon to be, step mum

Hi, 

K here 

You probably know me better as the ‘psycho ex’, the ‘bitch from hell’, the woman who took the love of your lives children away, the ‘crazy, lying, heartless slag’ and many other variations on the theme. 

You’ll have heard all the tales about me. You must be so relieved that your future husband has a normal, decent woman in his life after all he’s been through. 

I’m lucky enough to be privy to the official story my ex tells about me. The girlfriend after me told me it when she reached out to me feeling that things didn’t quite add up. 
It’s a really good story. Plausible. I understand why it’s believed without question. To people in his new life anyway. I still can’t get my head around why the people who actually knew me would believe it or help him perpetuate it but to be honest I’ve given that way more head space than it ever deserved over the years, it’s getting no more. 

I’m not going to sit here and tell you my story. I am fully aware what a waste of both our times that would be. 

I do just want to tell you a couple of things though. Firstly, the kids are big fans of yours. They honestly think you’re great. I believe you coming onto the scene has been a catalyst in their dad deciding to see them again from time to time. I thank you for that – I won’t pretend I’M happy he’s around but the kids deserve to feel as though they have two parents. 

They’re fantastic kids, as you know and now as older astute teenagers it’s down to them to make up their own minds in any given situation. They’ve all at one point or another wondered out loud what you see in their dad but yes they’re fond of you. 

I just hope that the things they like about you are never stamped out. 

I’m told you’re funny and chatty and I hope you never become the woman too scared to talk, afraid of the consequences. 

I’m told you’re lively and happy and I hope that’s never snatched away-that you’re never left with such low self esteem you’re filled with nothing but self loathing. 

The kids say you got a bit tipsy new year and had a fun singalong. I hope you’re never accused of being an alcoholic, a disgrace, an embarrassment. 

Secondly, know you’re in my thoughts often. I worry about you, hopefully needlessly. 
I’m a little  reassured by how close you are to your family and I’m never going to say people can’t change but forgive my scepticism on this one. 

Just know, should anything ever happen in your marriage that scares you or gets those red flags in the back of your mind waving there are people who can help. 

I’m certainly not the person who you would choose to confide in I’m sure but you bloody could at any time. 

Should you ever find yourself scared, anxious, hurt. The one thing you are not is alone. Your  family can help, various agencies, the friends you’re currently enconssed in bridesmaid chat with. 

I genuinely wish you the best of luck in your upcoming marriage and with all my heart hope it’s a happy, calm one

Lots of love, 
The psycho ex 

Xxx


My Facebook page is here

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5 (brilliant) reasons to start a blog! ! 


My new years resolution was to ‘try new things’. Well actually that was last year’s resolution but it worked quite well for me so I decided to keep it!! Anyway, if  you made any similar kind of resolution (because let’s face it, we’re not all going to be slim, teetotal and running marathons come November) then can I recommend starting writing a blog. 
Here’s why:
1) EVERYONE has a story to tell! 
You might think your life is a bit dull or you’ve nothing to say but you have! ! I’m a big fan of chit chat, a favourite way to pass the time and this is why. People are fascinating, everyone you speak to has a tale to tell. It’s the same with blogs. I read a fair few a week and I just love  reading people’s stories, different takes on the world (also I’m a nosy cow). 

You’ve a story. If you fancy telling it-do!! 

2) It’s therapeutic (for me) 
Writing my blog soothes my soul, it really does. When I first began my blog it was focused on life after domestic abuse and writing it down did help me process a lot in my mind. It helped me heal. 

Even the light hearted stuff I waffle on about here like how much I fancy Andy Murray (swoon) or my quirky family makes me smile and that can never be a bad thing! 

3) It’s a really sociable hobby
This is something I’ve only really experienced in the past year or so. I used to blog as a really solitary hobby. I’d envy all those proper bloggers on Twitter all having a laugh and chatting away. So I began to make an effort joining  in with linkies and blog chats and just engaging with these fab communities (hey tribal chat crew!) and it’s been so rewarding. 

4) It gives me super powers
I don’t know if it’s the writing things down bit or the aforementioned loveliness of other bloggers but writing a blog seems to give me these self confidence super powers I just don’t have in everyday life. For example I am rubbish at blowing my own trumpet and I can’t abide drawing attention to myself but when I’m promoting a blog post I’m all ‘look at me!’  ‘read my stuff’ without a second thought! It’s weird!I even wrote a whole blog post begging for votes for some awards ! (it’s here – the vote is still open by the way *outrageous wink*-see? I’m at it again! !) 

I have even bought a ticket to my first ever blogging  conference. Part of me expects to be unceremoniously chucked out for not being a ‘proper’ blogger but I did it anyway. I’m scared to death but I pushed through and did it. Blogging makes me brave! 

5) It’s just good for the soul 
Without wishing to sound twatty being creative always feels good doesn’t it? Whether it’s baking a cake or writing a poem just producing something gives you some nice fuzzy feeling. Sometimes flicking through old posts I come across one and surprise myself that something I’d written was really not total rubbish. Of course this can work the other way too but that’s what the trash button is for. 

So if you’re looking for a new hobby maybe try writing a blog. 

Maybe you’ve a bee in your bonnet about something and you need to share it or you’ve cracked a stage of parenting and want to tell the world. Write it down, publish it. It might be the best thing you do this year ! 



My Facebook blog page is here

I need you !!!!

Happy New Year!! 

My first post of 2017 is a teeny big beggy. There are these awards you see that I’m up for and I’d be soooo grateful forever and a day if you’ve ever read anything I’ve written and thought ‘hey that’s not crap you know’ if you could vote for daydreams of a mum. 

Looking through the categories I was really unsure where I fit. I’m not a ‘proper’ writer, my way of writing as I speak and overuse of exclamation marks put pay to that. I’m no comedienne, well I think I am sometimes but I’m generally in a small group of one there and I’m too scared to vlog ! 

Then I came across dedication – I think if I use that to mean bores everyone to death going on and on I’m certainly dedicated. 
I’ve been quietly writing this blog for 3 and a half years now. It was very much a solo pursuit at first . I didn’t dare join in with the social side of blogging until I discovered the Tribal chat crew (kisses you all! )
I started writing it as therapy after I’d left the abusive relationship and felt very much, to borrow from Fame, out here on my own. I never expected anyone to read it. 

As time went on though I received lovely messages from women who told me how relieved they were that it wasn’t  just them going through this stuff. Particularly after I wrote this about parenting after abuse. So I got a bit braver and this year shared my blog with people I actually know. 

Scariest. Thing. Ever. 

So dedication. I’m dedicated to letting women in abusive relationships know there can be light at the end of the tunnel

 

I’m dedicated to letting women know that they are believed 

I’m dedicated to letting women know that  I understand Christmas can be crappy , and how abuse makes you question your own reality 

I hope my  waffling does help  women feel a tiny bit less alone. That I show there can be a happy, free existence in your future. Of course I’ve still work to do. I hope to overcome my I love you issue at some point. On the whole though, life is good, most certainly so much better. 

Of course sometimes I just witter  about my nutty family or my famous crushes (RIP George)  but often come back to the reason I initially started blogging. Because writing things down help me make sense of what’s in my mind. 

So yes from now can we call it dedicated, rather than ‘bloody hell she’s on her soapbox again!’ though I’m kinda fond of that too. 


So, you can vote by clicking here I’d be super chuffed if you could choose daydreams of a mum in the dedication category. You can vote for me in up to 3 categories (no more or your vote won’t count) if you see fit.  Also if you’re a fan of blogs check out some of the other blogs, those Tribal chat crew are a talented bunch! ! 

 

My Facebook page blog page is here