My name is Kelly and I’m a book addict.
Books are my ‘thing’.
Reading books, talking about books, watching adaptations of books (mainly to slate them I’ll give you),recommending books, just gazing lovingly at my bookcases, maybe one day even writing one!
Reading is my ultimate comfort.
Even the crappest of crappy, yukky days can be perked up with a duvet, a perfect cup of tea and a good book. You’ll always find a book in my bag. There are always a couple of books in my bed (yes not beside my bed or on my bedside table but actually in my bed, by my pillow)
You can imagine then how rough the last couple of weeks have been as I’ve been unable to read!
I’ve been all agitated and restless and unable to concentrate. It’s not been my usual kind of anxiety that’s been at play either (it’s branching out *sarcastic yay*) I wrote here about one of the worst things for me when a bout of anxiety strikes is not being able to read and that’s where I’ve been of late!
When I’m anxious I do suffer with the horrible mind racing, dizzying feeling. That I feel as though there are a thousand (mostly random) thoughts whizzing through my tiny mind at once. These past couple of weeks have been exactly that but in super duper fast forward mode. So many thoughts flitting into mind barely having time to settle before the next one arrives demanding attention… on repeat. It’s exhausting and unsettling.
I will apologise if my trying to explain my experience of anxiety is a bit off the wall and sounds nuts. It feels a bit nuts at the time, but I know some of you will get what I mean!
I’ve started half a dozen books and barely got a couple of pages in before my mind has wandered away from the book leaving reading and that lovely feeling of being absolutely absorbed in a book impossible.
Then I picked up Second Life by SJWatson, same author as Before I go to Sleep which I really enjoyed. It drew me in instantly and had me so hooked my anxious mind didn’t stand a chance of wandering. Not concentrating just wasn’t an option.
You’d think a jumpy, psychological thriller wouldn’t be a good book choice when you’re in the grip of an anxious period but, for me last week, it worked.
You see being absolutely engrossed in a book and having your heart racing in your chest because of the story – that was kind of therapeutic for me. I was feeling nervy and jumpy for a good reason, not just because anxiety was being a knob. Also, I think the fact that a book has an ending is reassuring. I read this book in a day so experienced all the cleverly written tension and nervousness leading to the crescendo all these type of books need.
Then it ends.
You put the book down and all those feelings (once your heart rate calms down from the exhilaration) are done. As was my anxiety. Getting caught up in a fictional scenario seemed to have purged all the anxious feelings in a positive way!
I’ve not spoken about the book plot itself because firstly I just wanted to talk about how reading managed to drag me out of that particular period of anxiety and secondly I’d likely give too much away. What I will say though is if you loved Gone Girl and the Girl on the Train and enjoy tense, nervy writing give this book a go, I recommend it highly.
So here I am now, back in the bliss that is books. I’m not daft enough to think a book that gets the adrenalin pumping will always work versus anxiety but on this one occasion it did.
I always say books are fantastic therapy… and I this occasion I proved myself right! !
That doesn’t happen often.