Sometimes single parenting is a really lonely place

Youngest boy is tomorrow getting an award at a fancy school awards ceremony. They’re not an easy thing to get, but he had an amazing yr 9 last year. His school report was one of those you really want to rave about on Facebook but you’re too concerned about looking boasty. 
I’m so incredibly proud of him and I’m really looking forward to celebrating his achievements with him. 

There’s a but coming obviously.. BUT I am really quite sad about going alone. It’s not because I feel inadequate as a single mum either. That used to be my default on occasions such as this but that chip finally seems to have finally fallen from my shoulder thank goodness.
 
The reason I feel sad is because it’s lonely being a single mum at times. I would love to have another parent who loves him as much as me, who I know feels as proud as I do. I’d love to be able to attend this ceremony tomorrow and share the look of ‘we did a good job’ I see other sets of parents doing. I’d like to go home on the evening and chat about how great the kids are once they’re all tucked up in bed. 

None of that is to be though. I’ll go to the awards, I’ll sit alone, I’ll be proud as punch and then we’ll come home and I’ll reflect quietly on my own (after telling the boy how amazing he is of course) 

I don’t want to be whinging and the majority of the time I love being a single parent. It’s certainly much better for everyone than living in the hellish abusive relationship when I’d daydream of getting out and how free single motherhood would be. 

I’m grateful and privileged to be bringing up these amazing children of mine. It’s just sometimes breathtakingly lonely and the realisation of truly being out there on your own still comes as a shock occasionally. Big school events like this, exam results day, deciding what to choose for birthday and Christmas presents , family days out… they all do make me feel a little fragile still. 

Smallest girl is a whole other ball game. Her daddy is very hands on and there is always someone else there on important days and to tell when she does something particularly brilliant. It’s a nice feeling. 

I will continue to enjoy single parenting the majority of the time. I’ll continue to be grateful for our new, free life. 

The children do have people  who love them and the world’s most awesome auntie who is as proud of them as I am. 

However if sometimes I go on about the kids too much in this blog or on social media I promise I’m not trying to make out we have perfect children here or being boasty. It’s just, sometimes, I’ve no one else to tell. 

The Pramshed

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13 thoughts on “Sometimes single parenting is a really lonely place

  1. It seems sad to me that the people who really should be ‘boasting’ about their kids on social media don’t feel they can whereas others do it all the time. Sounds like your son is doing really well and you have every right to be proud. It must be hard if there isn’t someone to share with xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh lovely you shouldn’t feel ashamed, it’s bloody hard work bringing up children whether you’re in a relationship or not, and you should feel proud of that. Don’t worry what everyone else is thinking, keep your head held high! Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Strikes me you’re doing a great job and have every reason to be proud! Well done you! I imagine it must be hard at times though, when you want to revel in special proud moments with someone else. Hugs.
    #fortheloveofblog

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You boast all you want. Its your child and your blog so crack on I say.. It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job but I understand exactly what you’re saying. Blogging can be very therapeutic so use your blog to get things off your chest. #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your children are a credit to YOU. Yes you might not have someone to share the pride with in that moment but remember you got your son to where he needed to be to achieve this award. Not only should you be proud of him but you should be proud of yourself! I hope you enjoyed the ceremony #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You might not have anyone to share the pride with at the ceremony, but you also don’t have to share the credit. It’s the result of your parenting. The fruit of your hard work. And the boy’s too I reckon. You’re doing a great job. Thanks for linking with #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

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