An anxiety ridden afterthought in the books v blokes post

This week has been a bit crappy. Nothing major has happened, my family are all healthy, we have a roof over our heads and food to eat . However bloody anxiety has reared it’s ugly head and came to a bit of a head over last couple days. This is obviously unpleasant on a physical level, but more irritating to me is it leaves me unable to read.

My concentration is shot and I can barely read a sentence without my mind wandering to some disasterous event thats bound to happen.I read for pleasure and escapism so obviously when i’m feeling this way,it’s a pointless task.

I should’ve recognised the warning signs of this creeping up on me, as the last few weeks I’ve begun half a dozen books but abandoned them after a couple chapters.I put it down to ‘not being able to get into it’.I realise now it was due to having the concentration span of a gnat!

So as I am bookless for the next few days till this passes,I am forced to rethink my earlier post this week about how books are better than blokes that’s here  ( it-may raise a smile! and begrudgingly come up with a couple of ways blokes can do what books can not.NO not that!!

In the grip of an anxiety attack,I do find that human contact is the best way to relieve it.I’m really not a  hugger,not with a grown up anyway.When the breathing becomes hard work though and it feels like swallowing is harder than walking on water.This is where holding my hand and stroking the back of my hand with a thumb,like you do with babies,is a lovely calmer.(I know how strange this sounds,but it works for me)

Distraction is my second reason boys can beat books.This only works when in midst of anxiety obviously , as reading is the biggest distraction that there is for me ordinarily.I’m trying here boys keep with me.I really aren’t anti men ,I’m attempting to raise two lovely ones. These two are my most brilliant distraction technique. Biggest boy will constantly bombard me with scientific facts,whilst littlest boy gives me the most nerdy football facts that he amazes and worries me at the same time.However if they ever remake Fantasy Football you can sack Statto and have my son instead.Spending time with these two and entering into the giddy whirlwind of early teenage years means I really don’t get time to connect with my anxiety for a little while.

Lastly ,one thing I can’t get from my books is small talk.In my anxious moments I thrive on mindless chit chat.I find some men are great at this.Total unthinking chatter.I love it.Should I ever give dating a go , I’d definitely have chatty in my ‘must be’ boyfriend list.

So I have to admit I suppose,that there are times where boys can help where books can’t.Still not taking one to bed with me though…will have to manage with Heat magazine until i’m feeling better.

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