The Perfect Mum

We all know how to be the perfect mum don’t we?

What do you mean no?

Course you do, it’s simple.

You get pregnant at exactly the right time, with the perfect partner and whilst you’re financially stable. You give birth, naturally and with the minimum of pain relief. You obviously snap back into shape immediately and look glam at all times. You wean your child on food lovingly made from scratch, grown in your own organic veg patch. You are such a perfect mum that your toddler NEVER goes bat shit crazy in Asda over a Kinder egg and… well shall I stop there?

The myth and the fairy tale of the perfect mum is like the universe’s most elaborate practical joke. In fact the universe must be having a right giggle at us all.

‘ha ha you know that perfect mother that you’re half killing yourself striving to be?? Guess what? It’s impossible… fooled you all and you fell for it suckers!’

There are perfect moments of course. Low scale moments where you look around your tidy home, kids playing together nicely, hearty nutritious dinner in the oven and you think you’ve finally done it. You’ve cracked motherhood. You bask in the perfect mum-ness… until…

Your living room is a danger zone after the huge tub of Hama beads got knocked over and sweeping them up and binning the lot seems a better bet than getting on your hands and knees and picking up each one. The kids are screaming at one another over someone having a minute over their allotted
time on the tablet. Strange how when they say they’ll do something ‘in a minute’ it takes roughly 4 days yet when they’re counting down to their turn on the laptop /tablet /console they’re on to the exact millisecond. Oh and your lovely nutritious dinner.. didn’t get eaten because you cut the carrots into batons not slices you fool!

I say embrace the perfect moments.
I say, celebrate the tiniest of victories.

You got to school with lunches, PE kits AND homework – take a bow!

You took the kids food shopping and didn’t mutter any bad words under your breath when they all had a long and loud row about what flavour juice they liked this week – standing ovation

You haven’t JUST gotten to the bottom of every laundry basket in in the house, but it’s all ironed, folded and put away – Well you, my friend, deserve a damehood. I’m speed dialling the Queen right now.

We’ve all got our strengths. There are bits of parenting we bloody rock at (I personally read the best version of Supertato FACT!) Let’s big ourselves up on that.

The perfect mum simply doesn’t exist. Let’s face it if she did I don’t think I could be friends with her, do you?
The perfect mum is unattainable but perfect mum moments are certainly do able.
Let’s aim for those.


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