I am so bad at accepting compliments. If someone says they like my top or my hair or that they like a piece of writing or even the occasional parenting compliment. I do a bad thing. I file it under ‘bullshit’ and move on.
Compliments just don’t sit easy with me.
I’d put it down to the abusive relationship and being put down everyday for years, I’d use the good old Pretty Woman quote of “the bad stuff is easier to believe”. I’m not sure I can though. I know so many women who deal with compliments like me. Women who haven’t been abused, women who are happy in themselves. For one reason or another though we find another person telling us “you’re great” weird and uncomfy.
The thing is, we need to stop this nonsense.
Whenever I pay someone a compliment I really, really mean it. From the bottom of my heart.
When I’m in a clothes shop changing room despairing at my mum tum or sizeable arse and another woman pops out of the changing room to check herself out at the full length mirror at a distance (we’re not fooled by changing rooms lighting and mirror angles shops) looking fantastic I have to say. I have to tell her “you must buy that dress. You look phenominal”
When I’m reading blogs and I come across brilliant writing I need to tell the writer. I really want to take the time out of my day to say “I loved your blog. It made me cry/laugh/. It inspired me. It made me see things differently”
If I thought anyone filed away the compliments I give under ‘bullshit’ or only half believed I meant them genuinely I’d be really upset. They always come from the heart.
So maybe that’s what I need to do with the compliments of others. Maybe we all do. Take them in the manner we give them. Be thankful someone took time to comment and be grateful.
Maybe “the bad stuff is easier to believe”… but maybe the good stuff is way more important.
Certainly feels nicer!