A note from a needy mum to my terrific teenagers..

Dear teens,

These have been the first school holidays where it’s been apparent that you’ve all got your own social lives and I’m not really necessary.

Just a couple of years ago the first words spoken on a school holiday morning would be you asking “What are we doing today?”
You all had absolute faith that mum would have a great day of fun planned and I was more than happy to oblige.
(Disclosure: When I say a day of fun I don’t mean a big day out at the beach or a theme park. I mean that one of the mum talents I’ve collected is the ability to make a big deal out of nothing. I can spin an afternoon feeding the ducks and a bag of chips and make the kids believe even Eurodisney wouldn’t be THIS much fun!!)

As you’ve gotten older though you’re certainly not as enthralled by a treasure hunt in the park or going on a bug hunt. You’re no longer fooled by me turning off the lights and making popcorn that it’s exactly like the cinema. Your eyes don’t fill with excitement at the prospect of visiting the science museum for the millionth time anymore. Well except you eldest boy, but I assume that’s just a case of science geeks attracting science geeks like magnets or some more complex physics theory I don’t get!

I do appreciate that you all get involved in the slightly too young for you activities with your little sister. Watching you sit and craft with her or read with her makes me really proud. Mind you, that fairy tea party we had yesterday rocked didn’t It?? (promise the pics will never find social media!)

I see that you have your own things to do with your spare time now. I understand hanging out with mum holds little appeal when your friends are free.

A tiny part of me does of course miss those gorgeously cute little ones you once were. The children who thought mum throwing an indoor picnic was the coolest thing ever. I miss that my making a ‘bear hunt’ trail through the house complete with squelchy mud and swirling winds will likely never be necessary again.

Do you know what I’ve realised though? It makes the time you choose to spend with me really quite special. When you were babies you were stuck with me through no choice of your own. As increasingly independent teenagers that’s not the case.

Eldest boy, when on a rainy Sunday you load up all my favourite Doctor Who episodes to sit and watch with me, I love that. It’s thoughtful and sweet. Even when you roll your eyes and throw me the tissues at the “I don’t want to go” bit. It’s nice at 18 you’ll pander to needy mum.

Youngest boy I love that on a Saturday, your only free for all games console day, you choose to turn off at 2:30 and come sit with me. That you bring your notepad and pen and we have a very competitive game of ‘predict all the football scores’. If I’m really lucky you’ll do your Garth Crooks impression that makes me grateful I did my pelvic floor exercises you make me laugh so much!

Eldest girl, I love that being so into your music as you are you’ll come sit and share your favourite songs with me. Even though I’m old and uncool and return the favour with STEPS and b*Witched vids.

So I’ll try to give needy mum a bit of a rest. You’re all fantastic company. You’re funny and bright and chatty and I love you all to teeny tiny bits so when you choose to spend your free time with me I’m honoured.

So off you go with your hectic social lives.
Never forget though needy mum is always available for Who marathons, footie chat and to be musically educated!


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57 thoughts on “A note from a needy mum to my terrific teenagers..

  1. All mine are little- but I know it will not last forever and I do not think I will EVER be ready after four little girls needing me for every single second of every single day,.

    You might need to be my therapist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eeeek I’ve 4 too but whilst the elder 3 are teens I’ve still my 8 you old who still thinks it’s cool to hang out with mummy!!


  2. This has just made me realise that my now 21 month old, and bump of 18 weeks, are both going to be teenagers one day, and won’t be as needy and cuddly as they are now. But you know what, it was lovely reading how much love is felt in your words. How much appreciation and pride you feel at the same time. Sounds like you have an absolutely beautiful relationship with your children, even if they aren’t glued to your side anymore. Brilliant post! #madaboutblog

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, thankfully they’re quite nice teenagers so I can’t be too sad they’re growing up!! The 8 year old can just stay the little one FOREVER!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I so loved this and get it completely. I love how independent my teens are and whilst I miss those days when they really needed me I know that they still do if just that little bit less than before and that they “choose” to be with me in their spare time and make a point of seeking me out. Fabulous! Thanks for joining us. Hope to see you again. #TweensTeensBeyond

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awww, this is lovely. What are we doing tomorrow before today is over. Drives you bonkers but then this is the reverse. Hard isn’t it. Quality time sounds lovely though and wanted time even more special. I generally get ‘what just with you’!!! I am a proper old dragon of course! Thanks for joining us again at #TweensTeensBeyond, Nicky

    Liked by 1 person

  5. From one needy Mum to another – you have perfectly summed up how I feel. I am lucky that my older two girls will indulge me and our 11 year old and join in with childish games. But my heart does ache for when I was the centre of their worlds and not on the sidelines. Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond, we really value your support.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh gosh this got to me! We are very much in the thick of being able to spin out an entire afternoon feeding the ducks. The thought that this might one day not be classed as “fun” has me all choked up! It’s lovely to hear that they now come to you out of choice, though. I am totes going to be a needy mum! Haha #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is gorgeous. I have two small ones who still love an indoor picnic and going to the same places over and over and whilst you’re in it it feels like you’re in constant demand and you never get a minute. Reading posts like this always give me perspective and remind me that it will end to to really enjoy these days. You’re children sounds absolutely wonderful and I hope that mine will still want to make time and sit with me when they’re old enough to be off out with their friends. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, this tugs at the heartstrings…it creeps up on you so quickly and I don’t think I’m ready but I’m already seeing the signs…I will embrace it like you and remember those little moments that only mum and teenager shared before phone, social media, lanky mates…x

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh gosh this made me tear up because I’m dreading it! I want mine to stay little forever. However there is a part of me that’s looking forward to the freedom. Fab letter to your kids lovely. Thanks for sharing with #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The fact your teens want to spend time with you is a testament to how well you are doing. We usually have to plea bargain to get our two to sit and watch something on TV with us. Our boy watches football with me all the time, so not really counting that; thinking of those things where we all are compromising a bit to watch something together. #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah there are only a few things that all 4 of them will sit and do . Doctor Who….. errrrmm….poss Harry Potter. Younger one will join in sport if snacks are adequate….

      Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s hard isn’t it. We all hope for their independence but that ultimately means we are needed less. I don’t know how this will turn out in our home with some of our kids being autistic and having difficulties. However I can say that although almost in my 40’s I still love spending time with my mum 😉 #triumphanttales

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh God! I never realised that I would have to put Needy Mummy away one day! I’m still trying to get used to being Empty Nest Mummy as my littlest one started Big School this year. (Note to self: must get some hobbies) #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh they sound like a really good bunch of kids. I love that they choose to spend time with you, it shows just how wonderful you are doing raising them. I really hope when Ben and the Twins are older that they’ll also do that. That they’ll want to sit with me and do something!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. This is something that I’ve been realising more and more: that it is our job to make them independent but it is tough to let them go. My kid are still small but knowing that there are hours of each day at school that I know nothing about makes me sad. My youngest starts preschool after the Easter holidays and my heart is breaking a little. #dreamteam


    1. It’s so weird . I had 3 under 3 too so when they were younger I’d daydream about peace and quiet and now I’m all “watch a mooovviiee with meee pleeaseee ” (in a whiny tone !)😂

      Liked by 1 person

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