Having been single since the dawn of time (almost 8 years). I’ve had a long time to think about what I’d want from a boyfriend, should I ever decide to actively search for it. It’s mostly daydreaming as in all this time I’ve never really felt the urge to act on it. I presume (possibly wrongly) that most single women have similar wishlists of what we would look for in a man. I’d love intelligent, witty and funny, combined with kind, thoughtful and chatty. Good with the kids of course. As years go by, things are added and taken away from the list. Though the core elements stay the same. When the time comes to jump in two footed to the world of dating in your 30’s (eeww even typing that almost provokes an anxiety attack!!) When it does though, It’s going to be really quite easy. I find the guy who ticks my boxes… And miraculously his tick list is a squidgy round the edges woman,who is fantastic at making humans ,has a list of hang ups as long as long as his arm and an intermittent anxiety disorder (hmmmmm… Well my daydream, my rules!!)
My couple of days home with my sister this week though has given me food for thought. Enough to rip up my mental checklist of attributes that the potential boyfriend should have, because actually it’s really really simple.
I’ve spoken lots about my love for Hull and my adoration of my sister. So when the two combine I’m an exceptionally happy girl!When I step off the train I smile (they’ve worked hard on the station but it’s not because I’m impressed with the decoration). By the time I walk down my sisters garden path I’m giddy. Partly because I look forward to seeing everyone, but I realised this weekend it’s also because there, in that house, around these people I can be me… totally uncensored me. I didn’t realise how much I reign bits of myself in on a day to day basis. Pull back bits of me I think other people will be irritated by. Round these guys at home though I can be a big clumsy idiot, I can talk too much, I can be opinionated, I can think I am hilariously funny and giggle so much I thank the universe I did my pelvic flaw exercises.I can drink too much wine and decide we should have a sing song .No one bats an eyelid , cos that’s just me. The me I was before the horrid relationship and anxiety that followed. I can’t tell you how freeing that is.
So there we were on Sunday, my sister, her boyfriend and I. We’d shouted and screamed and jumped up and down through the football, we’d eaten a huge take away, we’d played some cards and drank shedloads of wine. We were at the drunken point of the night, sat round the kitchen table, where my bro in law and I were chatting 9 karat shit and I realised what the perfect boyfriend would be. Forget the list, he’d be the guy that filled that empty chair at the table. Someone who wanted the uncensored, daft me. Who would come and have that fun night with me and have just as much fun as we did. That would be The One.
Though, if we are getting picky he’d also wake me the next morning with painkillers and a glass of water.