It’s ok to feel crap , even more ok to make yourself feel better!!

Today I’m feeling really good. I’m happy , content, relaxed. I’m in a good mood. I feel this way the most of the time.

Last week though I had a rotten couple of days. Day one was anxiety ridden. I woke to an anxiety attack – Good Morning indeed! Just for good measure that day was also a school GCSE meeting for the eldest. My anxiety tells me horrid lies so that made the meeting difficult. It told me that everyone else at that meeting was in couples. That I was the youngest parent in that room, that everyone was thinking ‘ooo look at her , she must’ve started young and she’s still not managed to find a husband’ Of course once the anxiety has gone I can see how daft all that thinking is. Of course there were other parents there on their own and what everyone else was probably thinking was ‘Oh bloody hell this GCSE year is going to be a nightmare’

The following day anxiety was replaced with the most horrid low mood-double whammy!!I felt it straight away in the morning. My instinct was to do my hair, make an effort with makeup and a decent outfit. Make everything look ok on the outside so that no one knows what’s going on underneath. My head said push through it, power on. My heart told me to get the kids ready for school, get them out of the door and go back to bed.

That’s exactly what I did.

I feel guilty admitting that. That’s the problem isn’t it?

If I’d have had a migraine I wouldn’t have felt bad for a lie down in a dark room. If I’d sprained my ankle I wouldn’t insist upon running a marathon. If I’d had a sore throat I’d not have felt like a disgraceful human being for sucking on a strepsil. I’d have done what was necessary to feel better so I could get on . Retreating to bed because I felt low though? Was that allowed?

Even though I knew for sure that going to bed, pulling the duvet over my head and napping would make me feel better I felt embarrassed. Seems so daft to feel as though I needed permission to make myself feel better.

I gave myself permission that day. I didn’t fight feeling crap. I wallowed a bit. I had a cry. I looked at Twitter , I lamented the fact that I really needed some physical contact and I had no one to provide it ( because I was never ever going to find anyone who wanted to be with me and I’d probably be on my own for ever and ever…when I self pity I self pity HARD)

You know what a couple hours later I felt better. I got showered and dressed. I tidied up, I got dinner ready. Once the kids got in from school then I felt much, much better. The chaos, the bickering, the noise, the mess absolutely soothed me. I could relax. Normal was back in the shape of 4 grumbly, hungry children. I’d had my time out and was all the better for it. It’s a rarity I feel that down but I did what it took to feel better. I’m very lucky that my periods of anxiety and low mood are short lived these days.

Maybe though if you’re just in a bad mood or you’ve got so much on you’re giving yourself a headache thinking about it. Perhaps if you’re shattered or feeling a bit off colour surely it’s ok to make yourself feel better if that’s at all possible. Let’s face it there are enough times when it’s not.Have 10 mins with a trashy mag and a cuppa, have a power nap , eat the chocolate. Give yourself permission to feel better

The washing up will wait for you, the work you brought home with you will hang on whilst you have a 10 min phone conversation with the person who cheers you up to talk to. The laundry won’t run away (unfortunately) if it’s left half an hour. The kids won’t be messed up for life if they have a chippy tea for one night.

Parenting doesn’t have to be wall to wall martyrdom does it? We should take care of ourselves as well as we do everyone else, or at least almost as well. So if that means taking a bit of time from our busy days to browse twitter and have a wispa? That’s ok!!
Honestly, it really is!!

My Facebook blog page is here

Advertisements

24 thoughts on “It’s ok to feel crap , even more ok to make yourself feel better!!

  1. What a great post – you are so right that it’s okay to take time for yourself. Especially if you’re feeling ill (in any way) and a nap or quiet time will help you out. It’s so important for those of us who are caregivers, to be sure we take care of ourselves as well.
    ~Jess
    #EatSleepBlogRT

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Couldn’t agree with this more. It’s absolutely true that you need to take your mental health just as seriously as your physical health and rest when you need to. Your comments about the GCSE meeting reminded me of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not sure if you’ve ever watched it, but it takes place in a highschool and one of the characters starts being able to hear what everyone is thinking. And she learns that people aren’t judging others as much as she thought, because they’re all wrapped up in their own stuff. It’s truth. Thanks for linking to #EatSleepBlogRT. Hope you come back next week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes that’s exactly it, making up in your head what other people are thinking is always going to be a bad idea!! Noone really cares, they’re busy!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post, and you’re so right. I know I feel guilty or lazy if I retreat to bed but actually that’s where I need to be when my mood dips. Why is it so hard to look after ourselves?
    #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s that awful guilt isn’t it? Despite the fact if you just plough through you find yourself exhausted and irritable with everyone around you. So hard!!x

      Like

  4. I’m having one of those days today. A million things to do during naptime, yet I’ve read about 20 blog articles and watched Masterchef repeats haha. If I had some choc added to that it would be my perfect kind of self care morning! Great post x #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh I flippin’ love this! You’re so right because if we had a migraine we would take ourselves to bed and sometimes feeling rubbish needs some time out from life for a little while to build our strength to come back fighting. I’m all for this and am going to take a page out of your book and do this next time I feel pants! #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bloody right! This really inspired me! Why do we always feel guilty for taking time out or having some down-time for ourselves?! You are so so right with everything you’ve written! I suffer from anxiety too and there are days when I literally want to see no one and just curl up in front of the TV and really and truly why the heck shouldn’t I just do it?! You’ve made my life a little better with this post!!!xx #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes even if you can only just hide for a tiny while and shove a bar of galaxy in your mouth,a bit of self indulgence is good for the soul !!! X

      Like

  7. You are so right! There’s still such a stigma around mental health and we all need to look after our mental health as much as our physical health. It’s just so important that we’re not too hard on ourselves isn’t it? #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great post. I’m so glad that you went back to bed when you needed to. And I’m so pleased that it helped you feel better. I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. And when I’m feeling down I know what I need to do to make myself feel better. But I often struggle to do it. Because I feel guilty or week. However, if I had a headache or had injured myself then I would rest. Why is it that we always feel guilty for putting our mental health first? Excellent post. Thank you so much for writing it. Hugs Lucy xxxx #PostsFromTheHeart

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s so true, I feel far too embarrassed to take myself back to bed as it feels such a failing but why? Like you say, if you had a migraine you’d not think twice about lying in a dark room. And sometimes we just need to let our feelings breathe, and not fight them because it’s OK to feel low and anxious. Mental health needs to be cared for just like any other health. Thanks for sharing this – so important to let others know that it’s OK not to be OK. #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love this, you’re so right. Often I try to snap out of it when I’m feeling bad, instead of accepting that it’s okay to feel bad, but it’s also important to help myself feel better. #postsfromtheheart

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s