Things I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t have had children

I never imagined I’d have children. The younger me knew that I wasn’t that keen on them,  even babies left me cold. I imagined I’d actually be too busy in my campaign to become the next woman Prime Minister to be having time for child rearing. No, not me! Screaming humans and other peoples sick. No Thanks.

So four children later, I won’t pretend I don’t have the occasional daydream about how different my life would be if I hadn’t have had children (In my head it’s all cocktails and holidays) I began to think about things I never would have known if my life had take that path. So thought I’d share.

1)My phenomenal bribery skills

I know it’s ever so naughty and I swore I’d never do it, but as they say desperate times call for desperate measures. Getting four children dressed and out the house to a time scale has at times evoked said desperation. ‘If you please just put your shoes on yes you can have a milky way’ 7.30am or not. Unfortunately the elder ones will no longer jump through hoops for a fruit corner and we are evolving to ‘go to the shops for me and you can have half an hour extra on Minecraft’. Yes this from the woman who vowed her children would never have games consoles… Aawww the blissful naivety of early parenthood.

2)That Doctor Who is awesome 

 I hate anything that could be described as science fiction. Childless me would never have given Who a second glance. A man time travelling… Yawn. I had a little boy though when Who made it’s comeback (also had huge girlcrush on Billie Piper but that’s another story) I thought we should give it a go. We were immediately hooked and nothing really excites us more as a family. The same applies to the Hunger Games trilogy. Never would have picked it up but the teenager insisted I must read it. He left it with me whilst he went to Grandma’s for the weekend, when he returned I’d bought the other two and read them all.

3)No matter how busy I think I am or how hard I work. I will never have anything on Miss Rabbit…. Someone send that woman for a spa weekend.

4) The therapeutic qualities of feeding the ducks

I very much doubt I’d have spent very long feeding ducks in a world where I hadn’t have had children, but not much comes close to making you feel better when you’re having a bad day. I’m not sure of the science behind it,  I just know it works (same applies to colouring in,  swinging on swings and Play doh) 

5)That I can totally tune out 

This is a scary one. You know when you’re concentrating so you blank out the background noise (the kids) then you just catch yourself saying Yes. Suddenly you’re brought out of your concentration by kids shouting hurray and running off… Always a worrying moment and amazes me someone can be talking at me and I can manage to not hear a word. This obviously works the other way round too when I’m asking who has homework to a deafening silence.

6) Formula One

Another thing I never would have given the time of day once upon a time but because the boys are such enthusiasts, it’s catching and I find myself happy to be up at 5am waiting on a race!!

7) Brilliant kids books

Bedtime stories have always been a favourite time of the day(not just because it’s bedtime) Eldest boy used to love the Mr Men books,  youngest boy the Eddy and the Bear books (I can still recite one of those from beginning to end after a glass of wine) and eldest girl was a big Percy the Park Keeper fan. Littlest girl and I still have a soft spot for Room on the Broom, but now at bedtime she insists on reading a page each of whatever we’re reading at bedtime so I fear we’re on borrowed time for mummy reading stories. Weeps.

8) I actually do like children!!

Well THAT is lucky!!!

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I’m @daydreamer_mum on Twitter 

3 thoughts on “Things I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t have had children

  1. I’m with you on 5 and I can now totally blank out any other human at will. (Mostly the husband if he isn’t agreeing with me). I now literally have a “you no longer exist” switch. It’s great! Oh and according to some book or other I read you aren’t actually bribing your children at all. You are “rewarding positive behaviour” and should be applauded for your parenting excellentness. 🙂 x #chucklemums

    Liked by 1 person

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