“The reason you’re single is that you’d rather share your bed with a book than a bloke”
This is what someone I thought was a friend told me this morning. It was followed up with ‘you’re like those people who marry tractors, if you could marry a book you would’.
Now at first I was a teeny bit offended, though as my love life (or lack of one) is the main source of amusement for my friends and family, I just couldn’t take that away from them. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realise that it is actually very ,very true.
I’ve also amused myself by thinking of reasons why I’d rather have a book than a bloke in my bed, so thought I’d share….
1) The obvious one.
Books do not burp, fart or snore. They don’t smell of boy and they don’t turn into sweat balls during the summer months. Having a book in my bed allows my room to continue to smell of Lush bathbombs and chocolate.
2) When a book makes me cry, it still feels good.
P.S I Love You, Me Before You they both made me weep buckets. However crying because you have been touched emotionally is therapeutic. Crying because you’ve been called fat and ugly is not.
3) I never have to worry about an unfaithful book.
That it will fall for another reader and that will be the end of our time together. In fact when I really fall in love with a book I will happily share it with everyone I know. I’m that kinda generous girl!!
4) I can, without worry or concern, totally fall in love with characters in books.
They will never let me down by turning into a bit of a knob a couple of years down the line. Maybe Mr Darcy ended up bonking his way around the country while Elizabeth was home with the kids. I will never know, and I like that.
5) There are no expectations from a book
After a lovely evening reading I can turn out the light snuggle down safe in the knowledge that just because I’ve had a lovely time with my book no more is expected of me. I’m not expected to lay back and partake in mediocre sex… Phew!
6)If I fancy a change, that’s OK
My genre of choice is rom com. If I fancy a change though , I can spend the evening with a crime novel or take a thriller out to lunch with no judgement. You try that with a man and they don’t half go on about it!!
So as appealing as someone to run me a bath and ask how my day’s been is (I know how high maintenance am I??!!) I think for Valentines day, I’ll buy myself a bigger bookshelf.
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