It’s funny how when you have children , strangers see this as a pass to give you their opinion. You’re a mum with a crying newborn who’s just been fed. Someone will remark ‘ that baby sounds hungry’ . People ,I must stress, that you do not know will ask if you’re going back to work and will give a judgemental sigh regardless of your reply. It comes with the territory but it shouldn’t.
It doesn’t end when they grow out of babyhood either. I’m a mum of 4. They range in age from 7 -14. I have no ring on my finger( yes I know it’s 2015 , tell the old lady on the 192 bus). People still feel they can pass judgement on my life. People again I must say , I DO NOT KNOW! I’ll smile at their comments , I’ll let them go. Some of them though they do make me feel ready to scream . I’ll share with you some of my horrors favourites.
* You don’t look old enough to have four kids!
I know , I know sounds like it should be a compliment . Someone highlighting my youthful complexion and carefree attitude. The person saying this may mean genuinely – you look younger than you are. I hear ‘bloody hell you must have started early’ Maybe that’s MY Chip on my shoulder , but it’s how I feel!
* How do you cope with them all on your own??
Quick answer: much better than I ever did when I lived with their father.
Longer answer: I don’t ‘cope’ . I’m not struggling with poor health or sick children. I have a roof over our heads and food on our table. I’m not saving lives or doing anything extraordinary. I’m just crowd managing 4 people I grew myself. There’s no coping. Sssshh don’t tell anyone but I love it , I’m finally enjoying motherhood. Coping was involved when I had a 3 , 2 and 1 year old. That was rarely fun. Now though , family life is good!!
*Do you not worry about the kids not having a father at home?
No I don’t. They did have once. There was no positives for any of us in that. We have a family dynamic , it suits us. They’ve positive male role models in their grandad and uncles. Thank you for your concern person who knows nothing about our lives , but we’re doing just fine.
*If you don’t get a bloke soon all the good ones will be gone / it’ll be too late.
This little nugget of advice is possibly true. If it is , the likely hood is I’ve missed the boat so not to worry I’ll develop a long term relationship with Netflix , crisps and Merlot (what do you mean that’s the most committed relationship I’ve ever been in?!).
If however , and stranger imparting your wisdom I can see by your face you think this unlikely, there’s a lovely guy out there. A lovely guy with a penchant for redheads in their mid 30s who have a brood of children and the kind of baggage that makes me ‘hard work’ . If he’s out there , drop in when you like , but please don’t tell me I look too young to have 4 kids. It’ll put me right off!!