A brief note to my boobs in the run up to summer…

Dear boobs,
I know you and I have a very turbulent relationship. Ever since after the babies came along and you decide to triple in size we’ve definitely been involved in a love/hate kinda thing.

There are times I’m super fond of you , you know this. When you’ve gotten me served first at the bar or when the bus driver has let me on the bus for nothing due to a good bra and a nice top all is good between us , we’re pals. Sometimes I look and you and I think ‘ not bad!’

Winter is a good season between us. A cosy fluffy jumper over you and you do look inviting. Like you make a lovely cosy spot for a weary traveler to rest their head. You look nice when you’re all covered up out of harms way. I don’t curse you under my breath during winter.

Summer is a different kettle of fish. I know it’s not really your fault and all , but I do just wish you could be a bit more….well….discreet.
Summer, if we’re lucky, is hot. Trying to find cool clothes , as a woman with sizeable boobs, is really quite tricky. Vest tops are great summer wear . Cool , casual everyday summer clothes.Except you guys insist on making them all about you. Vest tops on me are a matter of gross indecency. Is it an attention thing?? Do you need to be constantly seen??? Because I’ll tell you now that is NOT the kind of woman we are! Halter neck tops…they’re pretty but again with you guys squeezing out it’s more nudity than nice!! Pretty summer strapless dresses?? Shudder at the thought.Equally though we can’t wear high necked tops either because then you team up with the tummy and I appear to just be a collection of unflattering lumps and bumps!

It’s not just pretty clothes that you spoil either with your ampleness .Summer comes , I take the kids to the beach , we get out the cricket /rounders set . You make me lose at sport girls. I am a very bad loser. Me running at the best of times is not a pretty sight , I’ve a weird kind of jaunty run that doesn’t flatter me at all. Running in any kind of top suitable for the beach is just not fair on the other beach goers.

I do love you.I know I’m being shallow. You’ve been useful and functional and I hope you’ll still look pretty lovely in a bra for a long while yet. I would really appreciate though , if this summer you could maybe just not be so desperate to make me look like an old low grade glamour model wannabe.
Thanks
And don’t even get me started about bikinis…….

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